Category: Beyond Work

Beyond Work is our line of resources for people and community leaders looking for something new and innovative outside, be it a new job, career change, or personal development outside of work.

  • Why Encounter Groups Work

    Why Encounter Groups Work

    One year ago this month, Mary Ila published “4 Exercises to Enhance Your Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Efforts” and featured the Encounter Group Model. This blurb stuck out to me the most: 

    “When we engage in these types of activities, we get to know people. We build relationships. And when we know people it makes it much harder to hate them, or people that are ‘like’ them.’”

    Since then, our team has partnered with a client to pilot Encounter Groups with about 50 people in an organization of thousands. And it’s working. 

    We define Encounter Groups as a group of people who meet, usually with a trained leader, to increase self-awareness and social sensitivity, and to change behavior through interpersonal confrontation, self-disclosure, and strong emotional expression”. For this particular pilot program, participants were identified from existing internal leadership development cohorts who were already meeting regularly, and a member of our team joined the cohorts to facilitate Encounter Group sessions.

    At the first session, after introducing the purpose and process of Encounter Groups, we asked everyone to write down the experiences that have shaped their lives. We allowed time to reflect, and then we asked everyone to share their stories with the group. Some folks bristled at this. It’s a professional setting, and we’re asking them to get personal. It’s uncomfortable…which is why it works. 

    When people allow themselves to be vulnerable (even when they feel forced into it), it’s like they unlock part of their brain. Vulnerability breeds growth. By the end of this first pilot session, the cohort felt more like a cohort. They felt a connection and a shared purpose. They grew together. 

    Our Encounter Groups include homework (gasp!). In between the first and second sessions, we asked this group to read a few excerpts from stories written by a pool of authors who are culturally, racially, sexually, and socioeconomically diverse. We split each pilot group into three subgroups and assigned three different sets of reading materials. When we gathered for session 2, we asked each subgroup to summarize their readings to the other subgroups, and we asked questions like:

    • What aspects of the stories did you relate to? In what ways were their stories/life experiences like yours? 
    • What aspects of the stories did you NOT relate to? In what ways were their stories/life experiences different from yours? 
    • What made you uncomfortable about the information you read?
    • Based on your reading, what would you like to explore further? 

    By the end of the session, members of other subgroups were asking to borrow reading materials they hadn’t had the chance to read. They were relating to each other over shared experiences and backgrounds, and they were asking questions about experiences that were different from their own. Real, meaningful conversation was happening! 

    By the third session, the cohorts wanted to take action. They’ve since put together a clear list of items they’d like to tackle within their organization, and they are in the process of presenting an action plan to leadership. Encounter Groups work.

    Encounter Groups work because they create a safe space where people can expose very real challenges and solutions for Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion efforts within their own organizations. Encounter Groups work because people get to know each other as people first. Encounter Groups work because they lead people to act. Encounter Groups work.

    How is your organization getting vulnerable this year? How are you getting vulnerable? Can you implement Encounter Groups and create space to get to know people?

  • What Cultivates Gratitude? Or Better Yet, What Does Gratitude Cultivate?

    What Cultivates Gratitude? Or Better Yet, What Does Gratitude Cultivate?

    I was tasked with writing a blog post on gratitude for this week- Thanksgiving week. I love it when my team gets together without me while I’m on sabbatical and sends me an email telling me what to write 🙂  It’s a given- a post with a theme of thankfulness- even though as a culture we’ve seemed to skip right to Christmas once Halloween ends. 

    I’ve written about counting your blessings and even counting your first-world problems and being thankful when tasked with the same thing before. 

    But what keeps jumping back into my mind this year as I think about how to articulate some inspiration for gratitude is to cite Bryan Stephenson. I had the opportunity to hear Stephenson at a conference I attended this fall.  Bryan Stephenson is the author of Just Mercy and founder of the Equal Justice Initiative.  

    He is obviously an in-demand speaker.  He apparently charged the group nothing for an almost hour-long talk.  He started the session by thanking the people in the audience for the work they do.  Mostly public servants in the audience who spend their days helping people on the margins, he made reference to how some of the services the group was involved in impacted him as a child. 

    He thanked and he thanked and he thanked before he moved into any form of argument or points. 

    But his points were powerful, and also speak to a heart of gratitude I believe that then leads to a heart of grace and mercy, and then one of action. 

    In speaking about the marginalized, or “least of these” Stephenson made four points: 

    1. Commit to getting proximate.  We can’t help if we aren’t close because then we don’t know what we don’t know.  We need to affirm people’s humanity to help them get to higher ground and realize that all our journeys are tied to one another.  
    2. We have to change our narratives.  This means we have to talk about things we haven’t talked about before.  He says we have to, “acknowledge, confess, and repent.”  My favorite quote of the night was, “Beautiful things happen when we tell the truth.  We close ourselves off to beauty when we don’t tell the truth.” 
    3. We have to believe in hope.  This means believing in things we haven’t yet seen and being confident that in getting proximate and changing narratives, they will become seen. 
    4. We have to do things that are uncomfortable and inconvenient.  Really, the first three things echo this point.  Getting proximate is uncomfortable and inconvenient.  Changing our narratives and telling the truth is uncomfortable. Staying hopeful is not only uncomfortable, it is also inconvenient to train our brains to be so.  But in the end, and in the journey itself, that is where the beauty lies. 

    I hope you’ll take this week to be thankful and it will lead you to grace and mercy, which will then inspire you to action.  

    During this holiday season, where do you need to get proximate, change a narrative, have hope, and/or be uncomfortable or inconvenienced? 

  • 7 Ways to Complete the Stress Cycle

    7 Ways to Complete the Stress Cycle

    We’ve been looking at all things workplace wellness throughout the fall, seeking to provide insight to ourselves and our clients about how to create workplaces where people can thrive.  A lot of the impetus is put on individuals to manage their wellness and stress.  This has its place but is also up to organizational leaders to help create systems and structures that give people the ability to survive and thrive at work.  This will impact how they also thrive in all aspects of life given that people do not live and operate in silos. 

    A thought-provoking book that is geared towards the individual management of stress is a book called Burnout: The Secret of Unlocking the Stress CycleAlthough it focuses on how individuals can “complete the cycle” the book provides insights to organizational leaders on the difference between stress and stressors and how to complete the stress cycle in ways that can be incorporated into workplaces. 

    First, what the book describes as stressors: 

    Stressors are what activate the stress response in your body. They can be anything you see, hear, smell, touch, taste, or imagine could do you harm. There are external stressors: work, money, family, time, cultural norms and expectations, experiences of discrimination, and so on. And there are less tangible, internal stressors: self-criticism, body image, identity, memories, and The Future.  In different ways and to different degrees, all of these things may be interpreted by your body as potential threats. 

    It’s worth noting that as another book, What Happened to You? points out that we may be cognizant of these stressors happening to us, but more often than not, we aren’t.  As this book describes, our lower order brain- the brain stem then the diencephalon then the limbic system- takes in input from the inside world of our body and the outside world through our senses and processes stressors and reacts to stressors often before our high order brain, the cortex, ever receives it and is able to THINK about it.  That’s why you sweat when you’re nervous when you don’t even realize it, or you flee or “attack” someone when they smell in a way that is associated with a bad memory. 

    Likewise, we often don’t even realize what we are doing or why we are doing it in reaction to a stressor. We often do not connect the dots to the linkages between our stressors and our stress. 

    As Burnout describes, stress is: 

    …the neurological and physiological SHIFT that happens in your body when you encounter one of these threats.  It’s an evolutionary adaptive response that helps us cope with things like, say, being chased by a lion or charged by a hippo…. It initiates a response to help you survive…. Your entire body and mind change in response to the perceived threat.

    As the book goes on to state, what we’ve been conditioned to do when we experience the lion is run! The book quotes Robert Sapolsky as saying “ …the core of the stress-response is built around the fact that your muscles are going to work like crazy.” 

    But we aren’t doing very much running these days in modern workplaces. We aren’t involving our muscles to help alleviate and eliminate the stress we feel.  We are, however, experiencing a lot of modern-day “lions.”

    So what do we do? 

    1. So first and foremost, one thing workplaces need to incorporate into practice to help their employees complete the stress response is to initiate movement into the workday.  Especially when a situation is anticipated to be stressful or a stressor has occurred. 

    For example, one day I knew I was going to have to have a conversation that was going to induce a stress response with someone I worked with.  Instead of sitting down across the desk from her, I said, “Let’s take a walk.”  We walked and talked instead of sitting and staring.  I know it helped to reduce my stress about the situation and I think it did hers too. 

    We need to be encouraging people to move and allowing time for movement during the workday. The book suggests that most people need twenty to sixty minutes a day to walk, run, swim, dance, or anything that involves physical activity. 

    2. In addition, in the modern-day workplace we live in, we may think that dealing with the stressor deals with the stress.  We need to realize dealing with the stressor doesn’t necessarily allow us to complete the stress cycle.  Take for example a “jerk” you’re dealing with at work.  Maybe he or she is not a lion, but they’ve been elevating your stress level at work, so much so that your natural response is either to literally fight the lion, I mean jerk, or to flee from him/her.  But, you can’t come across the table at the person literally like your body might be telling you to do, so you play nice. (As the book states, social appropriateness- or being taught to be “nice” at all costs- really impedes the natural stress cycle- it makes us get stuck). Or maybe you even act and go talk to your supervisor and/or theirs about it, or you go home and vent to your spouse about it.  But, dealing with the stressor, aka the jerk/lion, doesn’t mean you’ve completed your body’s natural response to the person and situation(s) he or she creates. 

    So we need to help people, again, move to help complete the stress cycle. But we can also create workplaces where other things happen regularly- all that involve engagement with our bodies and minds-  to help deal with the stress, not just the stressor.  These are: 

    3. Breathing.  “Deep, slow breaths help regulate the stress response.”  Encouraging people to breathe is a very simple thing that can help change the tone of a conversation, meeting, or a person’s outlook on a situation.  Asking people to inhale deeply for a count of three to five and exhale at the same or longer cadence is simple, and sometimes seems silly, but it may be the small thing needed to get people to a point where they can access their higher-order brain to be able to think clearly and respond appropriately. 

    4. Positive social interaction.  Things to include in positive social interaction are opportunities for laughter, affection (hugging and kissing- encourage this at home, not at the office-!), and also can include interaction with animals, like petting a dog or a cat. 

    5. Allow time for creative expression. Incorporating sports, arts, music, theater, and storytelling in all forms can help with this. Some of the work your organization does may naturally incorporate creative outlets.  We incorporate coloring sheets, fidgets, and role play at times into training to help initiate this.  Asking people to start a meeting by sharing something- in other words, something that is going to allow for storytelling can be a good way to start things off on the right foot.  Like, “Tell us about a time when you…” where the question and response is tied to the meeting’s purpose. 

    6. Allow crying.  Crying is one critical way for the body to release stress, yet we label people who cry, especially at work. At the very least, keep a stigma around crying that is neutral and do not punish people at work when crying happens. 

    7. Help people pay attention to their body’s response to things.  This is necessary to know when stress is taking place and also to know when the stress cycle has been completed due to one or more of the interventions above.  It’s like knowing you’re full after you’ve eaten. Some people are more in tune with it than others and we need to equip people with the mindfulness to pay attention when we are “hungry” or “full” when it comes to stress as well.  Some questions or actions you may help people engage with this is to encourage people to check their heart rate, monitor their body for tension, sweating and other responses that show us we have not completed the stress cycle and need to “eat” to initiate an action to help our bodies do so.  

    How do you deal with stress at work and how does your organization incorporate systems and actions to help people complete the stress cycle? 

    If you are interested in learning more about how to create organizations where people thrive, please visit our Illuminate website at: https://horizonpointconsulting.com/illuminate/

  • Show Compassion, Save Your Empathy

    Show Compassion, Save Your Empathy

    “What the world needs more than empathy is compassion. Empathy is feeling the pain and suffering of others. Compassion is acting to relieve the pain and suffering of others.” – Adam Grant

    A couple of weeks ago I was listening to Adam Grant’s podcast while driving and the topic was mental health and how organizations can make an impact. At Horizon Point we’ve been having candid conversations about our own mental health in the last few months. As Mary Ila mentioned in her blog post Taking a Walkabout we have all been dealing with health issues as a result of our own stress and anxieties over the past year or so. For us, it all came to a halt during our first quarterly meeting of 2021. And as a result, we have each agreed to take a sabbatical to focus on ourselves. But at the same time, it has led us to conversations on how we can do the next right thing for our clients as well and help them focus on the mental health of their employees. 

    The podcast with Adam really hit a chord with me. I am an empath, and this is where I really struggle with my mental health. As Adam explains it, having empathy means that you feel the pain and suffering of others. And I agree with him, empathy is exhausting. 

    As Adam mentions in his podcast, when employees are struggling with their mental health, it has a significant impact on their performance. So how can employers show that they care about the mental health of their employees without exhausting themselves in the process? According to Adam, it’s through compassion, not empathy. 

    I had never really thought about empathy and compassion together before. I think we often use the terms interchangeably, I know I did. But now I understand they are very different. 

    Empathy is aimed at an individual and allows for a lot of bias. You will have more empathy for an individual you like than one you don’t. You may have more empathy for that star employee than you do for the one who struggles to meet deadlines. You have more empathy for the employee that reminds you of yourself. 

    Compassion isn’t about how much you feel someone’s pain, it’s about how well you respond to help alleviate that pain. You can have all of the empathy in the world, feel someone else’s pain immensely, but not do anything to help them relieve that pain and suffering. Compassion is all about helping them move through that pain to the other side. 

    So how can organizations create a compassionate culture? 

    • Allow sick days to be utilized for mental health- As Adam puts it allow “sad days.”
    • Make sure your health plan covers mental health, or offer an EAP
    • Take two minutes to ask employees how they are. If you notice an employee seems to be having a rough day, show them you care, don’t just try to avoid them. 
    • Ask employees if they need help, don’t wait for them to come to you. 
    • As Brene’ Brown would say, you have to be vulnerable. Be willing to put yourself out there too. At Horizon Point we have all been very vulnerable with each other, both before and now during our rejuvenation period. 

    Creating a culture of compassion helps to keep your employees from the exhaustion of empathy, can increase productivity, improve employees’ mental health which can decrease your healthcare costs, and so much more.

    How can you help your organization create a culture of compassion?  

  • Personal Wellness Strategies

    Personal Wellness Strategies

    Personal wellness is something that is often considered a luxury. However, the older I get, the more I realize it is a necessity. Earlier this year, I had a scare with my blood pressure that sent me to the emergency room. After multiple tests and a follow-up with a cardiologist, I was diagnosed with stress and anxiety. On a side note, my elevated blood pressure is something inherited that will most likely result in medication for the rest of my life. 

    Stress which often leads to anxiety can cause a host of issues if not addressed. When my episode happened, I had several heart attack symptoms (chest/neck/arm pain, elevated blood pressure, racing heart, etc.). It was scary, especially since I’ve always been in good health. It forced me to stop, slow down and make health and personal wellness a priority.

    There are so many ways we can combat stress and anxiety without medication. With that being said, I personally believe medication can help and is often needed in conjunction with personal wellness. Here are a few strategies to consider for personal wellness:

    1. Exercise – Don’t get me wrong, I will never be a marathon runner or someone who visits the gym daily. I do, however, love a brisk walk at the park and do my best to get there at least 4 times a week. I have also been trying yoga, PiYo, HIIT, and other workouts; I typically aim for 20-30 minutes of one of these two or three times per week. Check out this article from Mayo Clinic about the benefits of exercise to reduce stress: Exercise and stress: Get moving to manage stress.
    2. Meditation – This is different for everyone. I actually have meditation playlists that I listen to when I need to relax a bit; I even do it in my car sometimes. It has a calming effect for me. Personally, I also incorporate prayer and devotion often.
    3. Listening to Podcasts – I do this while walking. Most everything I listen to has some type of personal development component. Some of my current favorites are: The Next Right Thing, Cultivate with Kelly Minter, and Money Tip Monday. These are all available on Spotify.
    4. Massage – This one is another former “luxury” that I now consider a necessity. I do my best to schedule a massage once a month. It helps with so many things! Read about the benefits of massage here: How Massage Can Help Treat & Eliminate Anxiety.
    5. Talk to someone (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) – Seeing a counselor is a great way to reduce anxiety. I have not tried this yet, but my cardiologist and others have recommended this as a tool to reduce stress/anxiety. It allows you to talk to a neutral party, about anything. Check out 8 Benefits of Cognitive Behavior Therapy According to Science.

     

    As a write the blog, I am counting down the days to my sabbatical. It begins in about 3 weeks. I’m looking forward to some downtime to focus on personal wellness. Read more about our team’s plans for sabbaticals here: Taking a Walkabout.