Horizon Point Consulting

Category: Beyond Work

Beyond Work is our line of resources for people and community leaders looking for something new and innovative outside, be it a new job, career change, or personal development outside of work.

  • Let’s Get Ready to Rumble! (Embrace the Suck)

    Let’s Get Ready to Rumble! (Embrace the Suck)

    Lorrie kicked off our series on Daring Leadership with her post Braving Trust and Vulnerability. Last week, Jillian discussed How to Be Perfect (Or Not) and the effect it has on Armored vs. Daring Leadership.

    This week I have the pleasure of presenting the topic of rumbling with vulnerability. I am going to need you to take a pause, a deep breath and embrace the suck. Wait, did she just say embrace the suck? Why yes, she did. How else can you describe the feeling of being naked in a room full of people while you bare your soul? In my professional as well as personal life, I have had first-hand experience in this department. I have always walked away from the experience as a better human, but at the time it can feel like anything but “better”. Unfortunately, we don’t grow in our comfort zones, so embrace the suck we must. 

    In Brené Brown’s book Dare to Lead she says that you can’t get to courage without rumbling with vulnerability.

    At the heart of daring is a deeply human truth that is rarely acknowledged: Courage and fear are not mutually exclusive. Most of us feel brave and afraid at the exact same time. We feel vulnerable. Sometimes all day long. During those moments, when we’re pulled between our fear and our call to courage, we need shared language, skills, tools, and daily practices that can support us through the rumble.

    To rumble with vulnerability, I will share part of my story (even as my mind gives me a million reasons not to). I am a woman who has entered the world of Human Resources at 39 years old, 17 years after graduating from college. I am 8 years into recovery and I took the road less traveled for many years. There are days when I show up for work and feel like a kindergartner, but nonetheless, I feel the fear and continue to take the action. 

    I am fortunate in the fact that I work with a team of women who know my story and have practiced acceptance and non-judgement from the very beginning. As an organization we show up and share the good, bad and ugly. We get in the ring, and we rumble. Since we don’t operate as a traditional 9-5, there are days when I shoot a text and say “for the sake of being vulnerable, I am having a hard time with _______.”

    Mary Ila leads us in a way that allows to grow together and to get curious about what could be the “why” underneath our behavior. We are encouraged to lean into our weaknesses and get honest about our struggles. This allows us to feel psychologically safe with one another and to know there is no doubt that we will be supported. Our team has monthly meetings and one on ones where we are led to share honestly about what fits and what doesn’t work for us and how we can grow as a team and invididually.

    Is your workplace a safe space that you can be vulnerable and if not, how can your organization embrace the suck and start to rumble? Need some help starting off? Take a look at this Rumble Language from Brené Brown.

  • How to Be Perfect (Or Not) 

    How to Be Perfect (Or Not) 

    Last week, Lorrie talked about braving trust, and a willingness to be vulnerable. She mentioned the theme from Brené Brown of taking off our armor and daring to lead. 

    Recently, Horizon Point has seen more and more client leaders struggling to take off their armor. We think it’s tied to the desire to be perfect, or at least to be seen as not a failure. Mary Ila’s research in grad school was actually on leader emergence versus leader effectiveness, and she found that emerging as a leader within a group is distinct and separate from being effective once you’re there. Let’s consider a female leader who makes it to the C-suite because of her natural traits (leader emergence) and is now finding herself ineffective. Or consider the student who was elected as SGA president, but once they got the job, they floundered. When people find themselves in leadership roles where they feel ineffective, it’s almost like…because they aren’t perfect, they just freeze up. But what does it even mean to be perfect?

    If you’ve seen the show The Good Place, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, or The Office, you may be familiar with Michael Schur. Schur created The Good Place, a show about how to be good (in order to get to heaven) and when he was doing research he dove deep into ethics and morality. The result was a book called How to Be Perfect. It is poignant and hysterical. The short summary: Perfect is made up. Everyone decides for themselves what is good versus bad or ideal versus not ideal – think back to Mary Ila’s blog two weeks ago about values. We all adopt and refine our personal values overtime which shape what we believe about being good or being perfect, and when we feel like we’re not achieving that, we start to become an unhealthy version of ourselves. 

    It’s as if in order to fit in, to climb the ladder, to “have a seat at the table“, we learn these behaviors of protecting ourselves, always on the defensive, expecting to be attacked around every corner. A few months ago, I had the pleasure of speaking to the Women in Business students at Mississippi State University, and I focused on this topic. We had a great discussion about the balance of vulnerability and self protection. Specifically, we walked through Brené Brown’s model of Armored versus Daring leadership.

    Armored leadership looks like…being a knower and being right. 

    Daring leadership looks like…being a learner and getting it right. 

    Source: Urban Wild Studios 

    We are helping clients recognize when they are demonstrating Armored leadership, and we are helping them develop the skill (because it is truly a skill that takes practice) of taking off their armor, and stepping into Daring leadership.

    I’ve also been the emergent leader who then found herself ineffective, but I’ve had incredible mentors who have helped me practice taking off the armor and living in my values. As Mike Schur says, “If we really work at finding the means of our virtues – learning their ins and outs, their vicissitudes and pitfalls, their pros and cons – we become flexible, inquisitive, adaptable, and better people.” In layman’s terms, know your values and practice them. 

    What armor are you wearing that you could take off? What if you start with one piece? It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. If you need help getting started, we have a couple of worksheets that are modified from Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead. In the end, we just need to make a choice to live in our values, rumble with vulnerability, and step into Daring Leadership. 

  • Braving Trust and Vulnerability

    Braving Trust and Vulnerability

    As we just celebrated Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, I found myself thinking of what made him a good leader. He led with his values always in the forefront of his actions, his values drove everything he did. He was a servant leader, who believed in developing and empowering others, and he was a transformational leader, who had a big vision, shared that vision and challenged others to see the potential of that vision, and fought hard for change. 

    He was a successful leader because he built trust and followed through with action. Brené Brown says that “trust isn’t built in grand gestures, but in the small moments that people treat what is important to you with care.” She breaks trust down into seven (7) elements (BRAVING trust): 

    1. Boundaries: Good leaders have boundaries. They set expectations, explain why those expectations are important, and they hold steady to them. 
    2. Reliability: As a leader, don’t overpromise, don’t say you will do something that you can’t do or have no intention of doing, and if you say you will do something, make sure you do it. And remember that it’s ok to say no, saying no opens you up to being able to say yes to something else. And explain the reason behind your “no”. 
    3. Accountability: We all mess up sometimes. Good leaders show vulnerability, they aren’t afraid to admit when they messed up, ask forgiveness, and figure out how to make it right. They also have to have forgiveness to allow others to do the same. 
    4. Vault: Good leaders understand that others’ come to them in confidence, and they keep that confidence. 
    5. Integrity: Good leaders lead with courage, letting their values guide them in their decisions. They do the next right thing. 
    6. Nonjudgement: Good leaders don’t pass judgement. They listen to the needs of others and their own needs and can talk through those needs without letting their own biases or perceptions take over. 
    7. Generosity: Good leaders give others the benefit of the doubt, that their actions and intentions were well intended. 

    Brown’s elements of trust tie in well to psychological safety, what Amy Edmondson defines as “the belief that one will not be punished or humiliated for speaking up with ideas, questions, concerns, or mistakes, and the team is safe for interpersonal risk taking.” Research shows that in order for teams to be successful, they must have psychological safety. 

    According to Brown, leaders have to be vulnerable. Vulnerability opens us up to opportunity. We have to be able and willing to explore the emotions behind our actions or lack of action. Another way to look at this is, as leaders we have to be emotionally intelligent. Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand our own emotions and how those emotions impact our actions, and how those emotions impact our ability to build relationships (both positively and negatively), and how our ability to read the emotions of others also impact our social connections. Research shows that leaders with high emotional intelligence are much more successful in leading others. 

    In Dare to Lead, Brown talks about learning to rise up as leaders. She breaks it down into three steps; the Reckoning, the Rumble, and the Revolution. The reckoning is understanding that there are emotions involved and exploring those emotions. This is also the first piece of emotional intelligence, understanding that you have emotions and exploring those emotions. It’s understanding that no emotion is right or wrong and that there shouldn’t be any guilt for those emotions. It’s just sitting with those emotions and feeling them. The second step is the Rumble. This is where you start to unpack the why behind the emotions and look for the missing information that may be creating those emotions. As Brown says, in the absence of data we all make up stories to fill in the gaps. In the Rumble, we start to question where those gaps are and what information we need. We start to deconstruct our self-made story. Brown defines her final step, Revolution, as “claiming authorship of our own stories and lives…It’s taking off the armor and rumbling with vulnerability, living into our values, braving trust with open hearts and learning to rise!”

  • 4 Ways to Convert Values into Behaviors

    4 Ways to Convert Values into Behaviors

    Last week to kick off the new year, we discussed starting with a focus on creating or revisiting individual and/or organizational values.   Values are a great place to set an ideal, but how do you make that a reality?  

    As Brene Brown says about values: 

    One reason we roll our eyes when people start talking about values is that everyone talks a big values game but very few people actually practice one. It can be infuriating, and it’s not just individuals who fall short of the talk. In our experience, only about 10 percent of organizations have operationalized their values into teachable and observable behaviors that are used to train their employees and hold people accountable.

    Ten percent.

    If you’re not going to take the time to translate values from ideals to behaviors—if you’re not going to teach people the skills they need to show up in a way that’s aligned with those values and then create a culture in which you hold one another accountable for staying aligned with the values—it’s better not to profess any values at all. They become a joke. A cat poster. Total BS.

    So how do we convert “professing” into behaving? Here are four ways: 

    1. Set Expectations Based on Values: Design your employee development and evaluation tools around your values and specify observable behaviors that are needed in order to meet and/or exceed expectations. If you are having trouble getting behaviors down or understanding how to put a behavior into language,  Brown’s reference list of behaviors may help you.  

    For example, one of our clients values is “Service” and one sub-component of that value where they have to rate a person’s performance in the evaluation is:  “The employee acts with empathy, kindness, patience, and honesty in all interactions and shows respect for those that he or she works with, including, but not limited to, co-workers, clients, vendors, and community representatives.” 

    Then, the person performing the evaluation has to input behavioral based information to support that rating such as, “Jane Doe exhibits our service value when she answers the phone at the front desk.  She answers the phone with a positive greeting and tone of ‘Good morning, this is Jane Doe.  Thank you for calling today! How may I direct your call or assist you this morning.’ She does this consistently regardless of mood or type of call or time of day.   She is also friendly and welcoming at the front desk when all employees come in as well, greeting each person when they enter and exit with personalized exchanges.”

    1. Give Feedback in Values Based Language: Whether you are giving feedback in formal evaluation or in an ongoing developmental way, good and bad behavior should always be framed by putting your values into language. 

    To continue with our example above, you’re Jane Doe’s supervisor and you hear one of these positive phone interactions. You could immediately respond with, “Jane, I appreciate you being empathetic, kind and patient with the person you just spoke to on the phone.  I could tell it was a difficult call, but you never lost patience or made the caller feel inferior.  Thank you.  You are demonstrating our value of Service and I appreciate it.” 

    1. Decide Based on Values: Values really begin to become operationalized when you use them as the basis of all decision making, big or small.  

    Continuing with our example, let’s say you are deciding if you should even have a person answer the phone or automate it either because of budget constraints or because it just doesn’t seem like the modern thing to do because no one else is doing it anymore.  

    Based on your value of service, you may ask yourself and others: Does making this cut diminish our ability to show service?  Does having a live person answering the phone differentiate us in the marketplace? Does and/or could it bring us a competitive advantage? If we get rid of it, what positive or negative outcomes could come of it based on all our values? 

    1. Ask Based on Values: As a leader, using values to help people make decisions and guide their development is a great way to do all three of these things. When someone comes to you with a problem or a decision to make, ask them, “How do you see this decision in light of our organizational values? What do our values lead you to think is the next right thing?” Help them learn to think in terms of values which will help them act on them. 

    How do you live your values? 

  • The Best Place to Begin a New Year

    The Best Place to Begin a New Year

    Resolutions, Goals, Plans, and Turning Over A New Leaf.  This is the stuff that New Years are made of.  For individuals and organizations, the new year is always a natural place to think big and aim high.  And there is nothing wrong with this. 

    As 2023 came to a close, a theme we saw over and over again was the challenge many people were having in leading well. They were aiming high, but totally missing the mark. They had lost the people they were leading as well as themselves in the process, chasing some ideal they couldn’t even name. 

    So many of the conversations and client engagements we found ourselves in were due to this struggle. As we examined it closer, we realized that the key and consistent challenge was that people had lost touch with who they were, what their organizations stood for and how to get back to these things. 

    They had lost sight of their values, if they had ever even named any, and it had taken them to a place of shooting at a bullseye that was meaningless and also miserable. 

    So, as 2024 opens and you’re aiming high, I’d encourage you to name or rename your values.  What I mean by the word “value” are not moral values in a universal right or wrong sense, but values in what leads to your competitive advantage as an organization or a human being.  What makes you unique, and therefore something of worth? 

    As you think about this, two resources I’d encourage you to explore are:

    1. Brene Brown’s work in Dare to Lead.  Read or listen to Part 2: “Living Into Our Values” and use her pdf list of values found on her website to help think through your core values.  I would highly encourage you to listen to her words in an audio book format before using the pdf to begin action. 
    1. Based on Dr. Henry Cloud’s work, found in Boundaries for Leaders on team trust and defining operating values, create and examine two past case studies of your organization or personal practices: one that went exceptionally well and one that went horribly wrong.  What consistencies do you see in the good and the bad?  You can use this tool we’ve created based on this work to help you develop your case studies.

    What we typically see is that the bad reflects the opposite of what creates uniqueness.  It is what you are most ashamed to be or do because it is so opposed to your values.  The exceptional is what makes you feel most alive and yourself when you are living into them- the value creates value. For organizations, it is what makes people want to “purchase” from you instead of a competitor. 

    As we begin a new year aiming high, let us first reflect on if it is where we want to aim to begin with. Once we’ve done so, we can steer our behaviors towards the right bullseye. 

    What are your values and how will you aim for them in 2024?