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Last week I had the absolute pleasure of attending NASHRM’S 2024 Spring Workshop supporting my team member Lorrie Coffey. She gave an energizing presentation on Handling Toxicity in the Workplace, complete with getting knocked upside the head with a Horizon Point lightbulb stress ball. So, what does a toxic workplace look like? Let’s open the door and expose toxic workplace cultures.
Lorrie started off by giving the definition of toxic and said that it’s an extremely harsh, malicious or harmful quality. She went on to give examples from social media of people talking about their current workplaces. One employee said, “I’ve literally been berated and to a point, what I could consider verbal abuse” another described their situation by saying that their anxiety was through the roof. So, what creates a toxic environment and causes people to leave?
According to Career Plug, the percentage of employees in 2022 that have experienced a toxic workplace by age group are: 88% (18-34 year olds), 90% (35-44 year olds), and 79% (45 + years old). Notice the fact that 45 and up didn’t have as much experience with a toxic culture or did they? Lorrie pointed out that it could be that most CEO’s are in that age range, and who wants to report that they are experiencing a toxic environment when they are the one in charge?
There are tell-tale signs of a toxic culture including increased negativity, turnover, dysfunction, stress, gossip, and competitiveness. On the other hand, there is a decrease in morale, productivity, attendance, trust, health, and feedback. Who then creates this toxicity?
Why should leadership care? Big picture, it impacts the bottom line. During the middle of the presentation one of the participants asked, but what if the toxic person is a leader? If it the toxic person in question is a leader, you have tools to use:
“Employees don’t quit their job, they quit their manager.” How many times have you heard that phrase? Have you ever identified so much with it, thinking its origin may in fact be you for how well it resonates with your experiences? Well, I have.
I worked with a large company for almost 3 years, holding 2 different jobs within that time, searching for a position that would maintain my attention and highlight my skills coupled with a manager who would invest in me as both an employee and a person. In those 3 years, I found neither of those things and they were the longest 3 years of my life. I was continuously in a state of #OpentoWork, applying for positions well under my skill and experience level simply to be taken out of the toxicity that was my daily 9 – 5. But let’s unpack the situation further.
I was continuously in a state of #OpentoWork, applying for positions well under my skill and experience level simply to be taken out of the toxicity that was my daily 9 – 5.
My first position with this company looked amazing on paper. The interviews highlighted efforts and initiatives that drew on my favorite aspects of my past positions and experiences and I was eager to get started. Once I did, I struggled with the management style I was receiving, communicating my needs only to consistently be met with unmet expectations. That, coupled with a difficult culture and internal resistance to what I was tasked to work towards, made it difficult to enjoy the work I was doing, but I persevered. I don’t believe in giving up when the going gets tough, but rather plowing through the difficulties and making the best of any situation. That is, until that situation bears no further potential.
The pinnacle of toxicity in a large organization comes to light with the vocalization of one word: re-org. Having never worked for such a large company before, I was naïve to what was to come. Long story short: my manager left their position, leaving me to be a team of 1. Their position was also eliminated as a result of the re-org, so I now had no growth opportunities. I saw the writing on the wall and knew I had to make a move and I had to make it fast.
So I transferred internally to a different team that, from the outside, seemed even more exciting than the first. Travel opportunities, engaging with high level internal and external leadership, autonomy over my work and…future growth opportunities! It was like the light I had been searching for at the end of the tunnel. Spoiler alert: it was not.
This new opportunity was worse than the previous, but for different reasons. The person I directly reported to was all but nonexistent. I communicated with them maybe once per month, and even then it seemed our short-lived conversations were meant only for them to check a box. No communication on how I was doing in the role, any help I may need or feedback I may have – nothing. The individual responsible for training and day to day oversight of me was the living embodiment of the phrase “hostile work environment”. I often left conversations thinking to myself “am I stupid?” because that’s how they made me feel.
The person I directly reported to was all but nonexistent. I communicated with them maybe once per month, and even then it seemed our short-lived conversations were meant only for them to check a box.
While my first position with the company hadn’t been what I was looking for, this second position was quickly soul crushing. It traded my self-esteem and value for anxiety and a state of constant fear of reprimanding. There was no appreciation. Toxic behaviors like working 12-15 hour days, working weekends, sacrificing sleep – these were praised. Suggestions on process improvement or seeking genuine autonomy were met with hostility to the point where I stopped making suggestions.
I found myself once again searching for the right position. I was determined not to settle, knowing I had settled in the past, but I couldn’t seem to find anything. My determination was no match for the vibrant and competitive workforce that exists in North Alabama. Opportunity after opportunity drifted by and I was beginning to think I was never going to find the right position. Worse even, I was beginning to think that perhaps the problems I was facing weren’t the managers, but rather it was me. Were my expectations too high? Did the “right position” I kept dreaming of even exist?
Worse even, I was beginning to think that perhaps the problems I was facing weren’t the managers, but rather it was me. Were my expectations too high?
And then one day, I got an Indeed message…about the position I was dreaming of getting into…with a small business, an environment I was desperately eager to return to. And the stars aligned and EUREKA, I got the job! There aren’t words to describe the trepidation I had walking into this new role. I had been sold a bill of goods not once, but twice before. I was not going to walk into another position with rose colored glasses on.
My first few weeks were great, I was learning so much and I was being exposed to multiple different facets of the company. I was introduced to the CEO and VPs within my first week, I was on a first name basis with the highest levels of leadership in the company and they truly seemed to listen to me when I talked to them.
At the end of my first month with the company, I went on business travel with the CEO, one of the VPs, and the Founder of the company – not only was it my first travel experience with this company but it was also with some of the most important people at the company. Unsurprisingly, I was nervous. Surprisingly, the trip was amazing.
I got to engage with leadership on a more personal level and they truly cared about what I had to say. The conversations I had on that trip are still referenced today and I am so thankful to have gone on this trip so early in my career with this company. I’ll never forget what was to me the most significant part of this trip. Following an employee engagement event we hosted for our local employees, we were heading back to the hotel and the CEO asked me “Do you know what your love language is?”. You could have knocked me over with a feather. Of course I knew, I’m a words of affirmation girl through and through. They noted this is something that my manager may struggle with as they’d not been great at it historically but they would keep that in mind. And they’ve kept that promise, to this day.
I got to engage with leadership on a more personal level and they truly cared about what I had to say.
My manager, supposedly not historically superior with expressing their appreciation verbally, has had no difficulty in coming to me with praise. Any time they have feedback, they ensure it is being received correctly, something people struggle with on an interpersonal level, let alone a professional one. To put it simply: they care about me as a person first and an employee second. This has been the biggest differentiator between my new company and the previous.
I love my job, but on paper, I was slated to love my 2 previous jobs as well. The difficulty I was consistently faced with was my management, or lack thereof, and the environments I was trying to succeed in. It was like planting a petunia in a desert – I was destined to wilt from the start.
It’s been 6 months now and things are great. I’m not naïve enough to believe I will never have trouble with work – that is a part of life. But I know that I am supported by management and a team of some of the best, most kind hearted co-workers, and that knowledge makes the hardest of days that much easier to navigate.
This blog was written by Guest Blogger Teddy Smith, a friend of Horizon Point.
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I recently spent a weekend at Walt Disney World. It sucked, and I loved it. It rained a gazillion inches for 48 straight hours. My shoes and socks got soaked twice. I walked 5 miles with squishy, cold, wet feet. My iPhone got water in the charger port, so I couldn’t charge my phone. It sucked. And I loved it.
It’ll be crowded and hot with long lines and tired feet, but I’m already excited about the next trip. All because of 3 basic business lessons we can all learn from Disney.
1. Moments are powerful.
Standing in the rain at Epcot at 9:00pm, waiting for fireworks to start, Felix tripped and fell. (Felix is the sweet toddler of my fellow Disney College Program Alumni, Daniela and her husband Sean.)
He was rattled and upset, but a nearby Cast Member immediately walked over and offered him a sticker of the Eiffel Tower from the France pavilion. That one little magic moment brought Felix so much joy, and he totally forgot about his big tumble.
2. Kool-Aid is good.
Cast Members are empowered to create magic moments from their very first day. Onboarding is all about “drinking the Kool-Aid“, and while it’s easy to roll our eyes at cliches like that, believing in a little magic actually is a secret sauce. At Disney, drinking the Kool-Aid and sharing it with guests from all over the world is a direct driver of business success. I’ve been a Cast Member, and I’ve been a guest, and the Kool-Aid’s always good.
3. Bright spots outshine the bruises.
We spent two full days walking a total of 18 miles around three theme parks. It rained the entire time. On back to back days, we had to walk around for hours with wet, squishy feet. And yet, I’d do it again right now. Felix got an Eiffel Tower sticker. My brother was celebrating his 29th birthday and got 97 “happy birthdays!” from Cast Members everywhere we went. My husband got to visit 8 countries and eat dinner at a German biergarten. The bright spots are so bright the other stuff doesn’t even matter.
The moral of the story is that doing the right thing for your customer or your guest or your service provider or your new hire, etc. creates bright spots and leads to repeat business, word-of-mouth business, and all the good stuff that companies spend lots of marketing dollars on. EPIC moments are powerful.
How are you creating powerful experiences for others?
A few weeks back, we introduced our series related to our theme for the year, open the door. As usual, when I have a blog post to write, the universe gives me lots of opportunity to practice. What’s on the menu for this week? Opening the door to growth, grit and yourself.
Currently, my level of frustration due to lack of “rest” is on an 11 out of a 10 point scale. I feel like I have been around the world and back, and my soul needs a good ole sabbath. My workout this morning took every ounce of effort that I had, and I don’t feel like I have done anything well. Those are all of my personal things, but they spill over into my work. At Horizon Point we are all about work-life balance and this week I have felt anything but balanced. But…you know what? I don’t like that feeling and to know that is to have awareness and that my friends is growth.
What does it mean to have a growth mindset for your organization? In Jillian’s blog, Training and Developing Growth Mindset, she says that
The Neuroleadership Institute (NLI) defines growth mindset as …the belief that your skills and abilities can be improved, and that ongoing development is the goal of the work you do. However, creating a growth mindset culture isn’t just about having optimistic employees, but creating a space where employees strive to learn, enjoy being challenged, and feel encouraged to develop new skills.
I am sure that we are all too familiar with the term that nothing grows in its comfort zone. I have immense respect for a leader who creates space for each of us to stretch the limits on what we “think” we can do. That dreaded phone call we need to make? Mary Ila gives us a little nudge to take that step and when we take a step she is there to guide and encourage us along the path.
In order to grow, there has to be a level of determination or grit. I was driving past Grit Fitness Alabama the other day and took a look at their website to find this spot on definition of grit.
Grit-a diligent spirit; the nagging conviction that keeps pressing on when it’d be easier to give up.
In this article from Harvard Business Review about Organizational Culture/Organizational Grit they share that it isn’t just about having a gritty leader but developing a gritty team. The two traits that are suggested to look for in selecting those individuals are passion and perseverance. As part of Who We Are as a company, Horizon Point places a heavy emphasis on passion. I would say that each team member displays an above average level of grit. For example, Lorrie on our team has faced setback after setback this year with health issues and surgeries, and guess how many times I have heard the woman complain? If you guessed zero, you would be correct in your assumption. Do you know when she was back to work? Later that day. That is my definition of perseverance.
Mary Ila also does a wonderful job of helping each of us within the organization lean in to who we are, and she supports us in any action we need to help us better ourselves. Before I started work for Horizon Point, I had already taken a DiSC assessment. The DiSC helps build self-awareness to understand our personal work styles. How do we create space as an organization to open the door for employees to tap into themselves? At Horizon Point, we Grow People and offer trainings to foster an environment of growth, grit and getting to know yourself.
Want to read more about Growth and Opening the Door? Read here:
For the one who stayed home, who stood by, who persevered through the darkness. Blessed are you, the one who is growing right where you are, the one who is still here. Hello to growing into yourself in the middle of your regular week. Hello to the rhythm of your right-now, everyday life, the one you keep showing up for. The one that continues without a spotlight or a toast. The one that hasn’t much changed.
The President of ATD Birmingham (and my friend) recently shared insights on The Leadership Pipeline with a room full of talent development professionals. I’m sure he said many, many great things, but the one thing I remember (and have talked about nonstop since then) was the idea that the first rung on the ladder of leadership is the hardest to climb.
The first time you shift from being an individual contributor to being a manager is like putting on a pair of glasses that no longer work. We know an upward move in our careers means upgraded responsibilities, but we don’t usually also upgrade our gear (glasses). So, even though we’re doing a new job, we still see our old job.
This got me thinking about other ways this metaphor applies to life. For example, if we are supposed to be brainstorming, or coming up with creative solutions, but we’re wearing the wrong glasses, we won’t even be able to see the new possibilities.
We talked earlier this year about armored leadership versus daring leadership, and I think the same concepts apply here. Being a knower and being right is a totally different mindset (pair of glasses) from being a learner and getting it right.
I think what I’m trying to say is it’s not so straightforward to shift from being a doer to being a learner, or getting stuff done to developing new ideas for how to do it. With our open the door theme this year, what I’m most excited about is opening the door to curiosity. Opening the door to new ways of working. Opening the door to different perspectives. Trying on new glasses.
Just last week, I talked with a group of HR professionals who are studying for the SHRM-CP exam. Our topic was learning and development in the context of an HR functional area. We spent a good amount of time defining a learning organization. Here’s a good overview via LinkedIn Newsletters written by Roopak Jain:
According to Peter Senge, the five characteristics of a learning organization are:
Systems thinking: The ability to see the system as a whole
Personal mastery: A commitment to continuous learning
Mental models: The ability to challenge common assumptions held by individuals and organizations
Shared vision: A common vision that is committed to and shared by everyone in the organization
Team learning: The drive to continue the process of enabling the capabilities to deliver results as a team
Individuals, organizations, and communities can all benefit from getting new glasses. Or inviting someone to the table with a different lens. If we only see things the way we’ve always seen things, how will we know what’s possible?
This ties in with all DEI initiatives, because we do have a history of lack of representation at the highest levels of decision-making and influence. If we study who has been represented in Fortune 500 CEOs, U.S. presidents, down to state governors, mayors, school board superintendents, small business owners, etc., we see how communities without diverse representation are less likely to thrive. At the core of many civic and business issues is a lack of perspective. It’s a great, big, complicated, beautiful, terrible, amazing world, and we all experience it differently.
At Horizon Point, we try every day to keep the door open to perspectives or experiences that are different from our own. We challenge our clients to do the same. We ask questions. We remain curious about the world around us and the lives and needs of our neighbors. We volunteer and support community organizations that are trying to improve where we live, where we work, and where we play.
If your door is already open to curiosity and new perspectives, how are you bringing others with you?
If you are realizing that you need to take the step and open the door, there’s no better time like the present. If you’re not sure where to get started, take a look at What We Do, and maybe we can help.
