Horizon Point Consulting

Category: Personal Development

We all need a little personal development mixed in with our professional and career development. Read blogs in this category for stories and best practices for personal wellness and wellbeing, skills improvement, and  more.

  • Ending the Year with New Habits

    Ending the Year with New Habits

    How is it already December! It was 4th of July just yesterday. As I sit here by the lights of my Christmas
    tree, I reflect on what I’ve accomplished this year, what I haven’t and what I should do heading into the
    new year.

    I’m reminded of an article I read a few weeks ago on social media by House of Investors that identified 7
    Habits That Can Fix 80% of Your Problems. Here is the list:

    1) Create a morning ritual
    2) Do a social media detox
    3) Have non-negotiable (20-minute walk, no food 2 hours before bed, etc.)
    4) If something takes 5 minutes or less, do it
    5) Get enough rest
    6) Follow the 80/20 rule (20% of tasks yield 80% of results)
    7) Plan your day the night before

    I love this list &  have especially worked to incorporate number 4 into my daily habits. For 2023, I want to
    focus on number 3. We should all have non-negotiables.

    There is one thing I would add to the list, and instead of adding it to the bottom, I would add it to the
    top. The number one habit I hope to continue to focus on this December and for the new year is
    gratitude. That will be the first thing on my to-do list daily. What are you grateful for? Who are you
    grateful for? What can you do today to show your gratitude?

  • 3 Ways to Lead with Grace

    3 Ways to Lead with Grace

    We recently selected our next Book of the Year, and while I won’t give away the surprise just yet, I will say that we’re laser focused on grace. We’ve talked a lot this year about Graceful Accountability – the practice of giving grace and expecting high performance – and this week I’d like to share 3 simple ways that we can all lead with grace in our workplaces, in our homes, and in our communities. 

    1. Practice the GREET model. Originally intended for healthcare providers learning the delicacies of bedside manner, we train on the GREET model across industries to anyone who works in customer service…which turns out to be all of us. We all have a customer, be it an internal colleague, an external buyer, or simply someone we want to become (and stay) our friend. So, here’s what we do: 

    • Greet – Don’t underestimate the value of a simple “hello”, “good morning”, or “how are you”. People notice. 
    • Rapport – It’s a cliche that we talk about the weather or sports when making small talk, but sometimes cliches are really important. Building rapport is a way of leading with grace by treating someone like a person first. 
    • Expectations – Clearly state the purpose of the conversation or meeting. When Mary Ila calls me with questions or guidance on a current project, we spend the first minute or two on Greet and Rapport, and then she’ll say, “Well thanks for calling, I don’t think it will take long, I wanted to talk/ask about ______.” 
    • Explanation – Often omitted, explanations bring a lot of value. Explaining the why or providing details helps someone feel informed and part of the discussion. This is also where psychological safety (grace) comes into play. 
    • Thanks – Always, always, always thank someone for their time and input. Even if (especially if) the conversation was difficult or the feedback uncomfortable.

    2.  Be the bridge. Mary Ila wrote a series earlier this year about meeting Survive and Thrive needs in our workplaces, and she talked about relational needs being the bridge between the two. Fueled by insight from Celeste Headlee, Mary Ila talks about communicating with voice, not just with writing. When was the last time you spoke gratitude for someone instead of sending a thank you email? Are we really creating a bridge to help others cross from Survive to Thrive if we’re not talking to them?

    I’m ashamed to admit that right now I cannot remember the last time I spoke gratitude. Of course I say “thank you”, but it’s like a reflex. That’s not gratitude. When it occurs to me to show gratitude, I turn to texts or emails or may even send hand-written postcards and thank you notes by snail mail. I’ve never really liked talking on the phone, and my schedule is too busy to add more get togethers – and this is where I’ve failed in my mission to lead with grace and be the bridge. I’ve put my focus on time and efficiency, not on relationships. I’m working on it, but I have a long way to go. What about you? 

    3.  Set the tone by going first. If you want to help others lead with grace, you have to be the first domino. Be upfront about your own personal work style and preferences, and ask your team to do the same. Leading with grace is about meeting people in the middle, and allowing flexibility for people to be people first. It’s also about showing that you are also a person first, and that you need a little grace sometimes, too. 

    At the end of the day, the old saying that “you get what you give” rings true. If you give grace, others will give it right back when you need it. How are you leading with grace in this holiday season?  

  • Does Scarcity or Abundance Rule You?

    Does Scarcity or Abundance Rule You?

    Of course, it’s Thanksgiving week, so who can neglect to write a post related to thankfulness and gratitude?  At Horizon Point, our thoughts on this stem from a focus we’ve seen emerging this year tied to an abundance instead of a scarcity mindset. 

    As we’ve met with people throughout the year and also examined our own behaviors, clear patterns emerge. You can almost immediately see whether a person, an organization, or a community is coming from a mindset of scarcity or abundance. 

    Scarcity displays a mindset that in order for me to win, someone else has to lose. 

    Abundance is seen in the desire to create win-win situations.  

    Scarcity points the finger and plays the blame game. Abundance is seen in taking ownership of our actions and outcomes. 

    Scarcity places limits. Abundance sees endless possibilities. 

    Scarcity focuses inward, seeking to hoard the credit.  Abundance focuses on outward collaboration because it doesn’t matter who gets the credit. 

    Scarcity says do it my way. Abundance says multiple perspectives and approaches can work. 

    Scarcity focuses on binaries. It’s either right or wrong, good or bad.  Abundance realizes that there is duality and continuums in all of life.  That we can hold fast to things like accountability and expectations while at the same time hold fast to empathy and grace.  It realizes one can’t effectively exist without the other. 

    Scarcity focuses on its own needs and wants. It never gets enough. Abundance focuses on gratitude.

    And out of that gratitude flows what we like to call Graceful Accountability (thanks to Jillian on our team for creating this curriculum this year) and Graceful Leadership. 

    As we approach the holiday season, let us do so with an attitude of abundance and from that abundance let us act and lead with gratitude and grace. 

  • Bring Me a Rock

    Bring Me a Rock

    My husband has a great analogy for ineffective communication that goes like this: 

    It’s like when they say, “Bring me a rock”. You go outside, grab the first rock you see, and take it to them. They say “No, we need a different rock.” You go back outside, grab a different rock, take it back, and they say “No, not that rock. It needs to be gray.” And so on and so forth until you eventually figure out that they wanted a big, round, gray rock from the bottom of the Mississippi River. How were you supposed to know that? If they knew what they wanted, why didn’t they just say it? 

    When people experience this type of interaction over and over again, they become less trusting and less engaged with the work. They start to feel like nothing they ever do will be the right thing, because it’s never clear what the right thing actually is. It’s a very demotivating work environment where accountability is high and psychological safety is not: the anxiety zone.

    We should all be working to find the right balance between accountability and psychological safety. In other words, we can absolutely have high standards of performance and a people-first, inclusive culture. I call this Graceful Accountability. 

    If you’ve heard me talk about Graceful Accountability, you know I’m serious about it. I’ve seen countless healthy and unhealthy teams over the years, and the difference is almost always the result of either too much “speak up” or too much “do what we tell you to do”. It’s either so relaxed and accepting that results suffer, or it’s so structured and rigid that people suffer. When we practice Graceful Accountability, we reset the balance. 

    Next time you need someone to bring you a rock, meet them in the middle – figure out what it is you really need and communicate those expectations clearly (accountability), then allow space for questions, discussion, and gratitude (psychological safety). 

    What are you doing now to find the right balance of accountability and psychological safety? 

    —

    Attending the UA HR Conference? Catch Jillian’s session October 27th at 11am. Learn more about #UAHR22 at horizonpointconsulting.com/whatsup. 

  • Feed Your Future With Feedback & Feedforward

    Feed Your Future With Feedback & Feedforward

    Next week, I’m talking about Feedback and Feedforward at the Tennessee SHRM Conference. While preparing for this session, I’m reflecting on my own feedback and feedforward skills. Am I following my own advice in giving meaningful feedback and practicing feedforward? If I do receive input from others, am I following up and actually implementing any change? Are you? 

    Just this morning, I received (unsolicited) feedback from my husband that I have not been practicing what I preach in work-life balance. I enjoy my work, paid and volunteer, so much that I have found myself with a plate that isn’t just full…it’s spilling over. Now I have my own homework to do to take this feedback to heart and actually examine my schedule and commitments. 

    Have you received similar feedback? That is, unsolicited feedback? Let’s talk about the types of feedback: 

    Unsolicited – The Kind You Didn’t Ask For

    Solicited – Well, You Asked For It 

    Observation – It’s Not What They Said, It’s How They Said It

    How often do you actually solicit feedback? For most of us, that type of feedback is the least common. We typically receive unsolicited feedback and/or observe feedback behaviors. Why? It is a whole lot easier to see our problems in others than it is to see them in ourselves. Even though we may be able to deny our problems to ourselves, they may be very obvious to the people who are observing us. 

    We can probably all work on soliciting feedback and actually listening to it. Today, since I already know an area that I need to work on, I’m thinking about the practice of Feedforward. Here’s how it works: 

    1. Pick a behavior you want to change that would make a significant, positive difference in your life
    2. Describe what you want to change with someone (one-on-one)
    3. Ask the person for two suggestions for the future
    4. Listen attentively to the suggestions
    5. Thank them

    Feedforward is a smart, effective way to take action and have accountability for the change you’re working on. 

    I’ll leave you with this quote from Marshall Goldsmith in his book What Got You Here Won’t Get You There:

    “We’re being told all day long how we’re doing. And the reason we accept this feedback and actually attempt to respond to it (e.g., if we’re down in sales, we’ll try harder to bring the figures up) is that we accept the process: An authority figure “grades” us and we are motivated to do better because of it. It’s not like that with interpersonal behavior, which is vague, subjective, unquantifiable, and open to wildly variant interpretations. But that doesn’t make it less important. It’s my contention— and it’s the bedrock thesis of this book— that interpersonal behavior is the difference-maker between being great and near-great, between getting the gold and settling for the bronze.”

    Use our free resource – Practice Feedback & Feedforward Worksheet – to check in with yourself and others and set timely goals for improvement and mutual commitment. 

    How can you feed your future? 

    Attending the TN SHRM Conference? Catch Jillian’s session on September 13 at 3:15pm. Learn more about #TNSHRM22 at horizonpointconsulting.com/whatsup.