Horizon Point Consulting

Author: Mary Ila Ward

4 Things my Goals Taught me in 2022 about how to be Brave in 2023
“I never tied discipline to courage. I never saw the correlation. I guess I should have, since I lack in both. But in all matters- physical, mental, and spiritual- I believe that to live a disciplined life leads to a brave life. We long to be brave in the big moments, in the clutch times, in the times when our backs are up against a wall. But to get there? It’s the everyday. It’s the practice. It’s the steps. It’s the discipline.

Annie Downs- Let’s All Be Brave

I set goals every year. Do you? You can call them New Year’s resolutions, but I like to call them goals.

I had five, well four and a half really, in 2022. The 1.5 was a business goal we set every year- gross revenue and profit margin targets. We hit the profit margin and missed on the gross revenue. I set out to PR in a half-marathon and missed it by about 9 minutes, but I was somewhat happy with my performance given I had the flu a week before I ran it. One was a writing goal that I fell short on. And the last one was to read 52 books- averaging one a week- for the year.

I set two new process, or habit goals to get me on the right path of reaching these. One centered around how to start a consistent morning routine. This routine wasn’t perfect, but it helped me read 53 books this year- the one goal I made. I formed a new habit there and it steered success.

So what have I learned from the misses and makes in 2022 to tee up 2023? Here they are:

1) One a day. You can see several trends from the picture of the list of 53 books I read in 2022, but I’ll point you to just one thing.On the last day of the year, my 53rd book listed is the Bible. I did not read it all on December 31st (in fact, I didn’t read anything on the list in just one day). I used an app called Bible In One Year to guide me through reading the entire book over the course of the year. It took about 15-20 minutes every morning every day. Yes, I missed a morning or two here and there, but never got behind enough to need to do more than two days of reading in one day. I hit this goal because I did one thing once a day every day of the year. It got to the point where if I didn’t do this pretty much first thing every morning something felt immediately off for the rest of the day. It became like going through the day without brushing my teeth. I felt weird and kind of gross.

And as it turns out that I’m learning from the first book I’ll most likely finish in 2023, Super Genes, our habits of wellness not only help us achieve our goals, they also can shape and reshape our genes. I’ve always believed that the behaviors I model will shape my kids, but science is also informing the fact that the behaviors we commit to not only can alter our own genes, they also very much shape the genes that we will pass on to future generations. Fascinating stuff!

2) Quit. I hit the reading goal as well because I did something I’ve never done before. I quit reading three books I started. One wasn’t what I thought it was going to be, one was written terribly, and one I just totally disagreed with. Wired to power through to the bitter end on everything whether pleasant or not, I realized life is too short to read bad books. They will make you miss your goals and that isn’t worth it. It also isn’t worth it because it violates my next point.

3) Enjoy it. I love to read. And the outcome of my reading also informs a lot of the work I do. If you aren’t enjoying at least some of what you’re striving towards, why are you doing it? Sometimes enjoyment comes in the process of doing something and sometimes it comes in the outcome, and hopefully in both, but if you can’t be clear about why you are doing something and how it is going to contribute to your overall wellbeing, in my opinion, it isn’t worth doing. Goals are really hard to achieve when you’re miserable trying to achieve them. You won’t stay the course.

4) Just because the calendar rolls over doesn’t mean we should stop striving towards the same things. My hits and misses have taught me that the “rhythm” as Annie Down’s calls it is what I need to focus on. Call it courageous or call it discipline like she also calls it, but I’ll be leaning into the word “brave.” I think she does too given the title of her book. I need to be brave in my habits by committing to them fully. Everyday. Then, most likely, the outcomes will happen. I need to realize when these commitments aren’t serving me and those around me well to either quit or pivot. And I need to always focus on enjoying both the journey and the outcomes it leads to. My goals for 2023 won’t change much from the goals of 2022. Instead, I’ll keep striving for the things that are always important to me, my family, and my team by being brave in the everyday.

What did you learn in 2022 that will shape you for 2023?

Like this post? You may also like:

4 Steps to Fanatic Leadership Discipline

Out of the 53 Books I read this year, here are my top three must reads:
1. 1. Bittersweet by Susan Cain because it echoed and solidified my thoughts on living in the AND so well.
  2. Run Rose Run by Dolly Parton and James Patterson because it so enjoyable- see #3 above.
  3. Misreading Scripture through Western Eyes by Brandon J. O’Brien and E. Randolph Richards because it made me reexamine some of my thinking.
January 3, 2023
2022 Book of the Year

“Gratitude became my door to grace.”

Alexsys Thompson The Power of a Graceful Leader

This year at Horizon Point, we launched a training curriculum called Illuminate, seeking to further our mission to innovate the workplace through people practices and bring light to all that we do.

The training idea came about from our work seeking to help organizations adapt in a rapidly changing workplace environment and from our personal experiences of trying to do the same.

What seemed to resonate the most in all the concepts taught was the practice of gratitude. Each participant was given personalized thank you notes and encouraged to write one note a week for a year in order to express gratitude to people that had an impact on them.

We realized there wasn’t enough gratitude going around. That’s why it was so impactful, because there was a scarcity of it instead of an abundance.

And with this, we realized that in order for gratitude to go around, we needed to focus on what it means to be a Graceful Leader and hold ourselves and others to Graceful Accountability. We needed to help people see that they could exist in a place where accountability and expectations can and should coexist with empathy and grace.

That the duality of things actually improves upon all things. As Aleyxs Thompson quotes Richard Rudd in our book of the year, grace is “careful without being fearful, caring without being overbearing, candid without being cruel.”

Our book of the year states that “grace is the key to sustained happiness, more fulfilling work, and performance that impacts the world” and that gratitude is the door to accessing this kind of grace.

So with this, we decided to present two gifts to you this year in appreciation of your partnership with us. You’ll find our book of the year- The Power of a Graceful Leader, as well as twelve personalized thank you cards. We hope you will use the book to fuel your thoughts on leading with grace. Chapter three specifically focuses on how gratitude is the entry point to grace. As we move into 2023, we hope you’ll write one note a month to someone to whom you owe an acknowledgement of your gratitude and how they have impacted you.

One is the means and one is the end. Our habits form us and shape who we are becoming. We hope that the habit of gratitude will mold and shape us all into graceful leaders.

We are incredibly grateful for your partnership with us this year. Thank you for trusting us to walk alongside you to impact people and workforce practices. Many blessings to you and your family during this joyous season!

December 13, 2022
Does Scarcity or Abundance Rule You?

Of course, it’s Thanksgiving week, so who can neglect to write a post related to thankfulness and gratitude? At Horizon Point, our thoughts on this stem from a focus we’ve seen emerging this year tied to an abundance instead of a scarcity mindset.

As we’ve met with people throughout the year and also examined our own behaviors, clear patterns emerge. You can almost immediately see whether a person, an organization, or a community is coming from a mindset of scarcity or abundance.

Scarcity displays a mindset that in order for me to win, someone else has to lose.

Abundance is seen in the desire to create win-win situations.

Scarcity points the finger and plays the blame game. Abundance is seen in taking ownership of our actions and outcomes.

Scarcity places limits. Abundance sees endless possibilities.

Scarcity focuses inward, seeking to hoard the credit. Abundance focuses on outward collaboration because it doesn’t matter who gets the credit.

Scarcity says do it my way. Abundance says multiple perspectives and approaches can work.

Scarcity focuses on binaries. It’s either right or wrong, good or bad. Abundance realizes that there is duality and continuums in all of life. That we can hold fast to things like accountability and expectations while at the same time hold fast to empathy and grace. It realizes one can’t effectively exist without the other.

Scarcity focuses on its own needs and wants. It never gets enough. Abundance focuses on gratitude.

And out of that gratitude flows what we like to call Graceful Accountability (thanks to Jillian on our team for creating this curriculum this year) and Graceful Leadership.

As we approach the holiday season, let us do so with an attitude of abundance and from that abundance let us act and lead with gratitude and grace.

November 22, 2022
2 Key Places Where You Need a Rule Breaker

I was a hardcore rule follower as a child. I didn’t question rules in any form or the adults or organizational or societal factors that put them in place. I was on time, didn’t question when or how things were done in school, on the sports field, in my home, and in my community. I did all the things I was “supposed” to do. In fact, I don’t think I thought much about the why and reason behind much of anything, I just did as I was told.

For example, if a school supply list told me I needed 48 Ticonderoga brand pre-sharpened pencils (I don’t know if I actually ever had this on a school supply list with such specificity when I was a child, but you better believe my kids do now) on the first day of school, that’s what we brought regardless if it meant going to ten different places to find them. Also, regardless of whether I liked that kind of pencil or thought they were the best tool to use. And if my mom wasn’t on board, I’d worry her to death until she followed the “rules” to the exact specification. I wasn’t coming with the “wrong” thing on the first day of school. And the truth is, a lot of this probably helped me succeed in school. Education today is still by and large very much geared towards the industrial revolution environment that created it.

Now I see this on a supply list for my kids, and if Target doesn’t have that exact number packaged neatly in that brand, sharpened or not, we get what is available. And I’m getting what’s available for drive-up pick up. I’m not going into the store, and I’m most definitely not going to hunt them down. Invariably, they come in multiples of 18 and that never adds up to 48 evenly and because of all the other rule followers out there, they have zero left of the brand on said supply list. I’ll grab two Target brand packages of 18 (yes, I know that is 36 not 48, and yes, I know some of you are just cringing thinking anyone would get less than what is on the list) because I know from experience to expect approximately 30 never used pencils to come back unopened in my kids stuff at the end of the year. I just can’t bring myself to care, or have the time to do it. What does it matter? Especially when they don’t even use them!

Basically, I’ve switched in my old age to someone with a much lower level of rules orientation. Described this way, “people with a high level of rule orientation will have a more rigid view, seeing fewer conditions under which it is generally acceptable to violate rules. People with low rule orientation will have a more flexible view, seeing more conditions under which it is acceptable to violate rules.”

Rules orientation is really a sub dimension of conscientiousness, one of the most researched dimensions of personality. And as Psychology Today says, “conscientiousness is generally a key ingredient for success—in love as well as work. It’s also a major predictor of health, well-being, and longevity.”

Here’s the breakdown of conscientiousness dimensions in a tool we use to help leaders build self-awareness called the Work Behavior Inventory:

Of course, you read through these and most people would think, man I’m going to hire someone that is high on all this stuff! Conscientiousness is, in fact, one of the key predictors of success across almost all job types.

But, I’d encourage you to pause on the rules orientation and consider whether you need someone that is high or low on this dimension if you are charged with hiring people. And if you are considering career direction or wondering why the heck you hate your job so much, I would encourage you to pause and question whether you are low or high on rules orientation. Nothing creates a recipe for disaster more than a round peg in a square hole, and rules orientation is most often the lynch pin. Kris Dunn describes the need to understand rules orientation for cultural fit better than almost anyone else in his Workforce.com post. Read it.

So, where do you want to consider hiring someone with low instead of high rules orientation? Or if you are low in rules orientation, where are you going to thrive? I think there are two key spots:

1. In start-up and high-growth organizations where you are trying to create things, not maintain the status quo (as Kris’ post states, when you are in need of pirates, not the people in the Navy) you need someone with a lower tendency towards rules orientation.

One of the places we really like to use the WBI assessment because of its analysis of rules orientation is when we are advising Alabama Launchpad finalists. These are entrepreneurs working to create and grow high impact start-ups across the state. A lower level of rule following contributes to higher levels of “Creative Innovator” and “Business Start-Up” occupational fit as seen through the WBI. These people are trying to create something entirely different from the pencil, so they most definitely aren’t following the rules in the pencil buying market in order to succeed. They want to make the pencil obsolete.

2. Secondly, you’ll want to consider the need for low rules orientation folks in organizations that have always played by the rules, heck they invented them, but things are no longer working. Typically, they have major issues on their hands. This is often because they are more concerned with the rules than anything else, and that has led to the downhill slide.

These organizations need someone to come in and say, why did you buy that type of pencil in the first place? Does the supply list even serve a purpose? Do your kids even use pencils anymore in school? Well, they use computers all the time now, so six pencils for the school year will do, and it doesn’t matter what kind they are because they are on a computer now all the time anyway. This is the case where you need to bring in a pirate or a band of pirates to ask a bunch of questions, challenge the status quo, shake things up and fix stuff, also most likely saving you some money too and restoring profitability in the case of for-profit businesses.

I find myself in the middle of both these scenarios right now as I’m trying to grow our business and also help a few key clients shake things up.

I think I’ll be a pirate for Halloween this year. I would have never gone for a pirate custom as a kid, probably citing something like pirates are boys (cultural rules and norms). Well, bring me an eye patch now! In my view, being a pirate is a heck of a lot of fun.

Are you a rule follower or a rule breaker?

October 25, 2022
4 Reasons Why Bad Experiences are the Best Lessons in Leadership
David Letterman most likely had it right when he said, “Life experience is the best teacher.” But I’d add a word and say that BAD life experiences are probably the best teacher, at least when you’re trying to grow in leadership and you’re willing to learn from them.

Our Horizon Point team had a discussion about something related to this concept in a meeting based on some client experience that I can’t even recall now. This led to the idea of using this theme for a blog post.

My team encouraged me to write about the lessons learned from difficult experiences with my oldest son, some of which I’ve written about before. This includes his challenges with epilepsy, medicines for epilepsy, reading, and his combined personality of being impulsive therefore lacking in self-control at times. These experiences and circumstances have shaped him and me.

When this came up, I shared with them how much I felt like he’d matured (and how much I had too as a parent watching him) in the last year or so. Maybe it was just now developmentally appropriate to expect him to think about his thinking and his experiences, but over the last year it was becoming evident how the hard things had been molding him somehow. He’s finally gotten some outward wins, but in truth, the real wins have been from learning his way through hardships.

All that he’s experienced has led him to be more empathetic, less likely to judge, and a heck of a hard worker. He’s gritty and determined. He’s competitive, but supportive and encouraging of other people’s successes nine times out of ten. He sees people, often people others neglect to see, and he feels deeply. He’s becoming what my husband and I have wanted so badly for him, and if we are honest, what we have wanted so badly for our own selves and self images that we often can’t put aside no matter how hard we try. He’s becoming a leader.

We plan for blog posts about a month in advance. Little did I know that right before I was scheduled to turn in this post, I’d learn more and more about how the seemingly bad experiences shape us and also become answers to prayers, ultimately leading us to God’s purpose and direction for our leadership and lives.

I’d say that bad experiences make us the best leaders if we choose to learn from them. Through our attitude and self-reflection, we can turn them into good. Here’s why:
1. 1. We become more self aware when we experience bad things and when we fail. It makes us stop and think why much more often than the good and the winning if we allow it to. What ownership do I need to take in the bad? What is it I can and should control and what can’t I? What systems and structures have created or contributed to the bad? How can I impact them? It helps us understand ourselves better, and self-awareness is where great leadership has to start.
  2. We become more empathetic. Because we have struggles of our own, we are more apt to see others struggles, ask about them, listen well when they are shared, and try to empathize with them. We care. We develop more other awareness. Leadership skills have to be developed through the platinum rule- treat others as they’d like to be treated. You have to know people well enough to be able to know how to treat them, and that starts with an empathetic mindset.
  3. We become more vulnerable. We are less likely to know it all, try to be it all, and perfect it all and we are also less likely to expect others to do and be the same when we have experienced some healthy doses of humble pie. Leaders are at their best when they are transparent and that usually begins with a comfort level with being vulnerable.
  4. We are better able to realize who our true friends and advocates are and who we want to align ourselves with. There’s nothing like being kicked when you’re already down and that often happens when we experience bad things. Others can come full force with their feet sometimes, whether they realize it or not, when people are down and out. Leaders have to build strong and safe teams around shared values, and sometimes the only way to know a friend from a foe is to see them from our own spot of rock bottom. I loved this podcast where Reese Witherspoon articulates the “bottom third” to steer clear of. You sometimes are only able to identify the bottom third of people actively working against you if you aren’t on top.
Self awareness, empathy, vulnerability and strong teams are the cornerstones of leadership and, sometimes, they are only taught and learned through the school of hard knocks.

How have you learned and come out leading through the bad?
July 26, 2022