Horizon Point Consulting

Category: Beyond Leadership

Beyond Leadership is Horizon Point’s line of resources for managers of people. Managing ourselves is a distinct set of behaviors from managers the work of others, and we are here to help. Read stories in this category if you are ready to take the next step into people leadership (or if you’re looking for articles to send someone else…).

  • 4 Steps for Handling and Diffusing Conflict

    4 Steps for Handling and Diffusing Conflict

    Last week, I had to share some information with someone that was unpleasant. I was nervous about how to deliver the message, but I went back to the steps I recommend to leadership coaching clients when they have to deliver and discuss issues that involve conflict. This is a very common issue that leaders have to navigate, and the best method to handle or diffuse conflict is to address it. The worst thing that can be done is to ignore.

    If you’re struggling with how to handle a situation head on, use these steps to make it easier:

    1.  Get your facts before proceeding. There are two sides to every story and a he said/she said issue is not ready to approach until you’ve gathered your facts. Make sure you know the ins and outs of the issue before discussing and address it.

    2.  Seek counsel of the wise. Before I went into my “unpleasant” discussion last week, I sought the counsel of three people that I trust. There was consensus on how to handle the issue from the three individuals (who had no idea what the other people recommended), so I felt confident that the approach was the best method. Make sure you have 2-3 trusted advisors as a leader. This is why hiring a coach may beneficial.

    3.  Plan and practice your approach. Write it out if you need to. This will help you feel confident in your delivery and anticipate questions or concerns that may arise from the party(ies) you are addressing.

    4.  Address it. Like I said, the worst thing you can do when conflict arises is to ignore it. To address the situation effectively:

    • Frame the issue with the facts
    • State your concern as well as why you are concerned making sure that potential effects on company and individual performance are addressed
    • Ask open-ended questions of the parties
    • Provide time for comment from all involved
    • Develop an approach or plan of action to resolve the issue. Ensure that everyone involved is clear on his or her responsibilities.

    How do you address difficult issues and/or resolve conflict in the workplace?

    Want more? You may like this post:

    2 Tips for Resolving Conflict Wisely

  • Drop Lots of FYIs to Communicate Effectively

    Drop Lots of FYIs to Communicate Effectively

    I was mad. Really mad. I had an appointment with a client. He asked to reschedule because he said he would be out of the office all day the day we had scheduled to meet. I showed up at the company the day we were scheduled to meet in order to meet with one of his colleagues and out he walks. He’s there. I felt lied to and intentionally blown off.

    He said nothing. I said nothing. I expected an apology or at least an explanation e-mail or phone call to come from him. I got nothing.

    In inquiring about his presence at the office when he said he was going to be gone, I found out he was waiting on another person to leave for the day. He hadn’t lied, but he hadn’t clarified anything with me. I’m glad I did some inquiring before I blew off the handle at him, and I was embarrassed that I got so worked up about the situation. But it all could have been diffused if he had just informed me about what was going on, instead of leaving me assuming.

    I often find that with business communication, we assume a lot. We assume people know certain things are happening, or we assume they have the information they need to complete a task, or we assume people think the best of us. More often than not, our withholding information by assuming leaves people, well mad. Like I was.

    Taking on the mindset of informing others helps to steer communication in a way that does not leave unanswered questions.

    Are you informing people enough? Consider this list from the coaching tool, For Your Improvement(maybe it’s not a coincidence that the book is referred to as FYI). If you find yourself thinking one or more of these statements describe you, then you’d be well served dropping a few more FYIs every now and then.

     

    Unskilled Informer:

    -Not a consistent communicator

    -Tells too little or too much

    -Tells too late; timing is off

    -May be unclear; may inform some better than others

    -May not think through who needs to know by when

    -Doesn’t seek or listen to the data needs of others

    -May inform but lack follow-through

    -May either hoard information or not see informing as important

    -May only have one mode- written or oral or e-mail

     

    For more on improving communication:

    Saying too much is like saying nothing at all

    How to combine communication with teamwork

    Team communication: It’s not what you say but how you say it

  • The Key to Motivating Others: Make Them Want to be Better by Buying them Bloomers

    The Key to Motivating Others: Make Them Want to be Better by Buying them Bloomers

    I ran into a professional contact at a local conference last month. She’s an attorney with experience in HR and has provided me with some legal advice related to a consulting project I had last year. I hadn’t seen her in about six months and we have probably interacted two or three times over the last couple of years.

    We caught up, talking about family and work. Being 38 weeks pregnant at the time, she asked about our growing family. It is always a pleasure talking to her, and I left our conversation being thankful that there are professionals like her who are serious about their work and their family, not compromising either for the sake of the other. She was genuinely interested in what I had to say, and I left our conversation a little bit more fulfilled than when it began. But my thoughts about her and our conversation were just that- fleeting. Our conversation hadn’t crossed my mind again. Not until five days later.

    Five days later, and three days post delivery- the baby decided to make an appearance a little early right after the conference- my assistant brought me the mail from the office. In it was a package from this contact (how did she even still have a record of my address?) for the baby with monogramed bloomers for her. She remembered the baby’s FULL name. Enclosed was a sweet and genuine note.

    While I had thought about how nice it was to talk to her, she had been deliberate in expressing her care and thoughtfulness towards my family and me. She remembered my baby’s name, and if she were I, because I can’t remember my own name half the time, went and wrote it down with the intention ofacting on the knowledge. She then went and bought bloomers, got them monogramed, found my address, and mailed them. And she had to have done this in less than a day or so. She is a busy, successful attorney with a husband and young child herself.

    So what, you may think? It’s just bloomers. But it is so much more than bloomers. It’s putting People First by expressing our ACTIONS, not just our thoughts, that others are important.

    What matters even more is that her thoughtfulness made me want to be a better person. Her gesture made me think about ACTING in a way that expresses the same value to others whether I’ve seen them two or three times in the past two years or I see them everyday. She, again, demonstrated our company’s Give Back value. She ACTS and did it in a way that truly showed me she cared by her listening, personalization, timeliness, and ultimate action.

    That’s how you motivate others.You motivate them through demonstrating the actions you want to see take place. Not because you are trying to manipulate them into action, but because you care. People are first. You demonstrate this and your results are multiplied because they, in turn, take on the People First mindset as their own, turning to more and more action.

    Who makes you a better person?

    More on being a better person and motivating others….

    Are you a LEGO Leader?

    Leadership Lessons from College Football

    Mind On, Hands Off

    Usefulness as an Employee Satisfaction Tool

  • 5 Steps for Managing Upward

    5 Steps for Managing Upward

    In my first “real” job out of college, I had no idea what managing upward was and had no idea how to do it. More importantly, I didn’t know why it was necessary. In hindsight, I got passed over for a job opening in the department that I wanted because I didn’t manage upward, I got more work than any other person in the department thrown on me because I didn’t manage upward, and I ended up being pretty miserable because I didn’t manage upward.

    In my personal experiences and in coaching middle managers, I’ve learned that the topic of managing upward, or the act of realizing that you have a responsibility in managing the relationship with your boss and thus your career just as much as he or she does if not more, is an issue that comes up quite frequently.

    If I had followed these steps for managing upward, who knows, I might still be with the same organization I was with 10 years ago. (Or maybe not, but that’s a post for another day).

    1. Know your career goals. Write them down. Where do you want to be in one year, in five, in ten?
    2. Communicate your career goals to your boss. Request feedback from them on how you might be able to make these goals a reality with their help. Communication is critical in any type of relationship.
    3. Be open to your boss’ feedback and implement their suggestions.
    4. Ask or volunteer for assignments that help contribute to your goals.
    5. Realize that sometimes, your boss wants you to do stuff that you don’t want to do or that you do not see how it would add value to the organization or your career goals. And sometimes, you have to realize, just like we tell our three year old, “Because I said so” is a good enough reason to follow-through on what is asked (as long as it isn’t unethical). Following through on assignments on time, on budget and with solid results can lead to quicker career growth regardless of the assignment.

    How have you been effective in managing upward relationships?

  • 6 Reasons NOT to Strive for Perfection

    6 Reasons NOT to Strive for Perfection

    I used to get so frustrated as a recruiter when I asked the question “What are your weaknesses?” in an interview and I would get the response “I’m a perfectionist.” It seemed to me to be a way to state a “weakness” when in reality striving for perfection, I thought, was a characteristic that is desired in the working world and in fact classified as a strength.

    I’d turn around and probe the applicant in a way that made them tell me what bad behaviors or results arose because of their perfectionism. Most people just stared at me after asking this question. I wanted to say,  “Now give me an answer to this question that isn’t canned!”

    But, now I’m beginning to believe perfectionism truly is a weakness. Here’s why:

    Perfectionism leads to paralysis. In other words, decisions aren’t made because of perfectionism.

    The inability to make decisions leads to stuff not getting done. Number 23 in the article 30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself,  states “#23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.

    When stuff doesn’t get done, the organization can’t meet customer needs and can’t move forward. You can’t vision for the future and think strategically when you are always trying to make things perfect.

    Perfectionism in the extreme sense is really is just another word for neurotic. If you know a true perfectionist, then you know what I mean. One client engagement I had last year was to improve their hiring practices in order to improve organizational results. After performing an analysis, it was obvious that we needed to implement some type of screening that tested for neurosis. Low performers were exhibiting this characteristic over and over and it was often described as “perfectionism”.

    Learning doesn’t occur when things are perfect.  We often learn more from our failures than our successes, which drives continuous improvement. And continuous improvement does move people and organizations forward.

    Quite frankly, perfect is boring.  And it is never going to happen.

    So if you want to drive results and strategic thinking in your organization, stop telling your people that they need to deliver “perfect”.  Tell them instead they need to be better today than they were yesterday- striving for continuous improvement.  A little bit better today than yesterday is a lot better than being paralyzed today because yesterday wasn’t perfect.