How to be Authentic with Your Appreciation at Work

What is your most desired love language- or language of appreciation- at work? The Motivating by Appreciation (MBA) Inventory assessment can help you and your colleagues discern this.  What makes giving and receiving appreciation at work so hard?  Often, it is the simple fact that we’ve been conditioned to follow the golden rule instead of the platinum one. The golden rule says to do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  So in context, if my language of appreciation is quality time, then the way I live the golden rule is to give you quality time because

How to Serve at Work (and at Home)

The sink is piled high with dishes. The trash is overflowing. Laundry hasn’t been done in days. The baby is crying, and the third grader needs help with homework.   And my husband is playing Xbox.  I don’t want to have to ask for help, I want him to notice I need help and do it.  My urge for him to read my mind and miraculously unload the dishes and clean out the sink without me having to ask is temporarily outweighed by how bad the dishes piled up are bothering me.  “Could you empty the dishwasher and reload it, please?”

It is What It Is, or Is It? How to Shift from a Fixed to Growth Mindset

“I can’t turn little Johnny into a Stanford bound student,” said one school principal when I was meeting with him.  “These parents expect us to take a B or C student with a 21 on the ACT and create Ivy League individuals. I get all the hype about growth mindset,” he said. “It is everywhere in my world, but the truth is, I can’t take your five-foot-nothing kid that can’t jump and turn him into Michael Jordan no matter what I do.” I get it. Some goals are realistic and some are just delusional. He was quite funny sharing these thoughts,

No New Year’s Resolutions in 2020

January. The time to set a resolution for better living and better outcomes.  Have you set one or two or ten?  Resolving to be better is always a good thing but resolve rarely accomplishes.  As Paul David Tripp says in New Morning Mercies for the December 31 devotional:  …the reality is that few smokers have actually quit because of a single moment of resolve. Few obese people have become slim and healthy because of one dramatic moment of commitment. Few people who were deeply in debt have changed their financial lifestyle because they resolved to do so as the old

3 Tips for Leading Well in 2020

I enjoyed the opportunity to hear Karith Foster speak recently.  If you haven’t had an opportunity to check her out, she is well worth it.  She combines humor and storytelling to make simple, but profound points about leading and living well.  In her address, she talked about the ABCs necessary to be a leader in 2020.  A. Ask for help & Ask for what you want.    Asking for help may seem contrary to what leaders should do, but as I heard Brene Brown say in another keynote speech, asking for help is actually the best way to create trust.  As

A Pound of Prevention

Written by: Jillian Miles, Horizon Point Consulting “A pound of prevention is worth an ounce of cure” is a phrase I heard for the first time this week. I was at lunch with an attorney who specializes in employment law, and she said that phrase as we were talking about clients who don’t see the benefit of proactive, preventative measures and instead just hope everything turns out alright. I immediately wrote it down and googled when I got home, and the internet says it’s a Benjamin Franklin quote. Apparently, Franklin wrote an anonymous letter to his own newspaper in Philadelphia

The Table

I was so excited about my husband’s Christmas gift in 2018. We had just begun renovating our home which would include an outdoor living space. We discussed wanting a large table in this space to be able to have people over to eat and fellowship regularly.    I contacted a friend who owns a company that does custom woodworking and asked him to get a table created for us.  Nine feet long I told him, sassafras wood, bench seats.  The table wasn’t ready in time for Christmas nor was the space to put it, so I printed a picture of one similar

1 Great Way to Grow in Your Interpersonal Skills

Interpersonal skills are a distinguishing factor in what makes people successful.  I’m not talking about us all needing to be extraverts, I’m talking about us being able to understand ourselves and others and relate to people in a way that builds connections and relationships.  Many people refer to this as emotional intelligence.  I often hear employers talk about how job candidates’ interpersonal skills are lacking.  Components of this include poor communication skills, low self-awareness, inability to control emotions and to read and respond to emotion in others.  Many cite the constant connection to technology leading to the demise of strong

Productivity from Patience

Note: This is the first of a two-part post on the value of abiding in patience in order to achieve the best kind of learning. The value is described here, whereas how to do it is contained in the second post here.  Patience is not one of my virtues. And oftentimes, the world reinforces what seems to be the need for it not to be. Get it done and get it done fast so you can get more done is often the mantra whether we consciously or unconsciously preach this to ourselves or hear it from others.  And we are

Why Counter Offers Upon Resignation Rarely Work

Written by: Lorrie Coffey, Horizon Point Consulting Your top employee or best manager just walked into your office holding that dreaded piece of paper. You know, the one with the words “thank you for this great opportunity, I respectfully resign my position” typed neatly on it.   As you read it, your mind starts brainstorming “what can I do to get them to stay?!” You can’t lose them, they’re the best of the best. You’ll never be able to find someone with their skill set and knowledge of the organization. You’ll spend months training their replacement just to get them up