Horizon Point Consulting

Author: Mary Ila Ward

I May Have Adult ADD But I Wouldn’t Trade It For Anything: Refusing to Choose Between Work and Life
At an HR conference this week with a focus on wellness, the topic of work-life balance is bound to come up. It is and continues to be a buzz phrase in the field. How do we as individuals balance work and “life” and how do companies and HR professionals help employees find and gain balance in order to promote wellness and avoid stress and burnout which ultimately hurts company performance?

As I sit here writing this at the conference, my eight week old is with me. So is my mom who is here to help and also hear some key sessions at the conference she is interested in. I am going to sessions, volunteering for the conference, checking email and responding to clients, eating dinner with friends and aunts I haven’t seen in a while, feeding my little girl and changing her, talking to her and enjoying her precious grins that have just begun to make an appearance across her sweet face.

I think I may have adult ADD (attention deficit disorder) with the constant change in focus, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Because I enjoy each component of these activities and roles, the lines between my “work” and my “play” or “life” are so blurred that I’m sometimes not sure which box I’m in, and in my opinion that is the way it should be.

You don’t have to choose between work and life.

The people I know who love their work don’t talk a lot about work/life balance. They do work, they do life and oftentimes they aren’t sure which one they are doing at the moment. It’s just all life.

So how do we get to the point of not needing to seek out work/life balance?
1. Choose work you love. Finding the unique balance between your talents, your passions and your values will enable you the opportunity to choose work you love and allow you to make it an integral part of your life. It also allows you to clear the clutter and say “no” to things that really do not need to be a part of your life and your work.
2. Surround yourself with people who support you in your work and life. I realize that this may be more of a challenge for some than others because to a certain extent it may be out of your control. I am fortunate that my mom was able to come with me to this conference because she too had a business needs to hear some of the speakers. My husband is at home with our other child manning that front, and he is glad to do it. But it goes beyond just having the support of family being close by or having the flexibility to help. It extends to doing business- working with and for- those who share the same mindset of work-life balance.
For example, I’m working with a marketing firm to develop a marketing plan and strategy to take the company to the next level. The timing of brainstorming sessions needed for this came about two weeks after I had the now eight week old. We didn’t postpone it. They came to my house to do it. Not one session, but two. They held the baby, I held the baby and, because my husband was still off on leave because of the birth, we were able to get his ideas too, which is highly valuable to me. In my opinion, we came up with, among other things, some pretty awesome tag lines for the three unique lines of services/products we will be offering soon. (If you want to turn on your creative side, go grab a baby while you brainstorm). Picture proof of this session here.
1. Refuse to think either/or: I could have postponed the brainstorming sessions and I could have skipped this conference and some people probably think I should have skipped both. Aren’t most maternity leaves 12 weeks? But I’d rather do both from a different perspective- having my child with me, who obviously needs me almost constantly as an infant and who will so soon not be giving me those sweet grins that I don’t want to miss out on, and doing work that I love and I hope meets needs for others too can be done together.
I don’t have to separate my work from my life or choose between the two and you don’t either.

What are your best methods for doing life instead of having to balance work and life?
May 16, 2014
4 Steps for Handling and Diffusing Conflict
Last week, I had to share some information with someone that was unpleasant. I was nervous about how to deliver the message, but I went back to the steps I recommend to leadership coaching clients when they have to deliver and discuss issues that involve conflict. This is a very common issue that leaders have to navigate, and the best method to handle or diffuse conflict is to address it. The worst thing that can be done is to ignore.

If you’re struggling with how to handle a situation head on, use these steps to make it easier:

1. Get your facts before proceeding. There are two sides to every story and a he said/she said issue is not ready to approach until you’ve gathered your facts. Make sure you know the ins and outs of the issue before discussing and address it.

2. Seek counsel of the wise. Before I went into my “unpleasant” discussion last week, I sought the counsel of three people that I trust. There was consensus on how to handle the issue from the three individuals (who had no idea what the other people recommended), so I felt confident that the approach was the best method. Make sure you have 2-3 trusted advisors as a leader. This is why hiring a coach may beneficial.

3. Plan and practice your approach. Write it out if you need to. This will help you feel confident in your delivery and anticipate questions or concerns that may arise from the party(ies) you are addressing.

4. Address it. Like I said, the worst thing you can do when conflict arises is to ignore it. To address the situation effectively:
- Frame the issue with the facts
- State your concern as well as why you are concerned making sure that potential effects on company and individual performance are addressed
- Ask open-ended questions of the parties
- Provide time for comment from all involved
- Develop an approach or plan of action to resolve the issue. Ensure that everyone involved is clear on his or her responsibilities.
How do you address difficult issues and/or resolve conflict in the workplace?

Want more? You may like this post:

2 Tips for Resolving Conflict Wisely
May 13, 2014
Everyone Gets a Trophy and The Skills Gap
At a lunch meeting yesterday, one topic of discussion was the “everyone gets a trophy” generation. The millennial generation – of which I am barely a part of based on my date of birth, but rarely admit to being – seems to have a problem with feeling entitled. And the negative outcomes this creates in schools and int he workplace is a hot topic.

A couple of issues cited in this discussion were:
- Lack of respect for consequences of one’s actions. For example, a star pitcher not getting to pitch in a game when scouts were there because he missed a practice and was also in trouble at school for skipping class. His parents raised holy terror because he didn’t get to play. Who is to blame? The parents or the student?
- Lack of respect for other people and their time. For example, a teenager not showing up for work to teach swimming lessons because she had play practice and no one called to let the family know the child would not have lessons because the teacher couldn’t make it. Is the paid work or the play practice more important to attend? The director of the play told her she couldn’t miss practice. Does getting a paycheck for something also communicate you can’t miss?
Compare these to examples to key findings cited in the Alabama Skills Gap Study conducted by the Alabama Department of Labor:

Employers were more likely to identify gaps in soft skills (41%) than in technical skills (38%).

Of the employers who have identified gaps in soft skills, 65% stated that Attendance was a problem. Following Directions and Time Management were the next most often identified soft skill gaps (39% and 36% respectively).

We could blame these skills gap issues on just one generation, but the numbers show employers must be facing it with the majority of their workforce, which can’t possibly be all made of just the trophy winners.

So what should we do? First, we should focus on soft skills development just as much as we do technical skills development in our schools and in our homes. A good resource for soft skills curriculum can be found here: http://www.dol.gov/odep/topics/youth/softskills/

Next, we need to turn the mirror on ourselves, whether as a parent or as a teacher or even as a student. The question becomes, am I guilty of what I’m complaining about and how do I model the behavior I want to see?

I say this as I sit here, letting my three year old skip swimming lessons. He’s asleep next to me after having tried to wake him up from his short-lived nap to go to the lesson. You haven’t seen holy terror until you’ve tried to wake a three year old up who doesn’t want to be woken up. Yep, that person complaining about the teenager teaching swimming lessons was me and now here we are not going to a scheduled lesson. Am I teaching my son something I don’t want to be teaching him? Sure am. But at least I called to let them know we wouldn’t be there… (I know don’t tell me, because I know, we still should have gone).

As I beat myself up about not doing what I know I should, I figured I’d at least share the lesson. Soft skills are important. They are learned. Teach them by modeling the behavior you want to see.

Want more on the soft skills employer want? Check out these posts:

What do employers want? The 4 Cs

What do employers want? Creativity

What is your smart phone teaching you about communication?

Want to get a job? Foster collaboration
May 8, 2014
Drop Lots of FYIs to Communicate Effectively

I was mad. Really mad. I had an appointment with a client. He asked to reschedule because he said he would be out of the office all day the day we had scheduled to meet. I showed up at the company the day we were scheduled to meet in order to meet with one of his colleagues and out he walks. He’s there. I felt lied to and intentionally blown off.

He said nothing. I said nothing. I expected an apology or at least an explanation e-mail or phone call to come from him. I got nothing.

In inquiring about his presence at the office when he said he was going to be gone, I found out he was waiting on another person to leave for the day. He hadn’t lied, but he hadn’t clarified anything with me. I’m glad I did some inquiring before I blew off the handle at him, and I was embarrassed that I got so worked up about the situation. But it all could have been diffused if he had just informed me about what was going on, instead of leaving me assuming.

I often find that with business communication, we assume a lot. We assume people know certain things are happening, or we assume they have the information they need to complete a task, or we assume people think the best of us. More often than not, our withholding information by assuming leaves people, well mad. Like I was.

Taking on the mindset of informing others helps to steer communication in a way that does not leave unanswered questions.

Are you informing people enough? Consider this list from the coaching tool, For Your Improvement(maybe it’s not a coincidence that the book is referred to as FYI). If you find yourself thinking one or more of these statements describe you, then you’d be well served dropping a few more FYIs every now and then.

Unskilled Informer:

-Not a consistent communicator

-Tells too little or too much

-Tells too late; timing is off

-May be unclear; may inform some better than others

-May not think through who needs to know by when

-Doesn’t seek or listen to the data needs of others

-May inform but lack follow-through

-May either hoard information or not see informing as important

-May only have one mode- written or oral or e-mail

For more on improving communication:

Saying too much is like saying nothing at all

How to combine communication with teamwork

Team communication: It’s not what you say but how you say it

May 5, 2014
6 Steps and Tools for Better Networking
Last week, we discussed the importance of networking because Computers Don’t Give People Jobs- People Do. If you still aren’t convinced of this based on the data presented last week, then here is another tid-bit of data for you:

According to this chart, networking encompasses almost half of the way that companies fill job openings.

So the proof is there. If you want to get a job, the best way to do it is to network. But how do you do it?

Here are some steps along with a Networking Log to help you track this process:
1. Set a networking goal. Our Networking Log has a baseline goal for you.
2. Identify your network. Who are you already connected to and who are those people connected to?
3. Develop a plan to reach out to your network. Target who you will reach out to, by when, and how (in-person meeting, email, phone, social media).
4. Request that the network contacts you reach out to send your information to anyone else in their network that might be in need of your skills and expertise. Many of them won’t do this, but for the few that do, this method may lead to promising job leads. I know one job opportunity I’ve had and accepted was a result of this type of networking.
5. Follow-Up. You have to stay in front of people who you are networking with and continue to reach out to them. Create a schedule to follow-up with those network connections that are most promising.
6. Track the leads and results achieved from each contact. This can help you identify the best methods and networks to tap into for further results.
But I’m not looking for a job you say? Whether you’re an active job seeker, passive job seeker, or not a seeker at all, networking is critical to seen and unseen opportunities. This same method can also help sales or business development professionals as well as recruiters (there are two sides to the job networking equation after all!). Taking the time to have a networking game plan and follow through on that plan, no matter where you are in your career, can help you take advantage of relationships. And relationships are what lead to the best possibilities in work and life.

Image source: Lou Adler (@LouA) is the Amazon best-selling author of Hire With Your Head (Wiley, 2007) and the award-winning Nightingale-Conant audio program, Talent Rules! His latest book, The Essential Guide for Hiring and Getting Hired, is now available on Amazon.
May 1, 2014