Horizon Point Consulting

Author: Mary Ila Ward

  • What the Dog Saw During the Crisis

    What the Dog Saw During the Crisis

    It all started at home before it started everywhere, I think. 

    It started to rain and thunder.  I hate rain and thunder, so I settled in my spot under the porch to wait it all out. 

    Then there was a big bang. The rain stopped. Then came a smell, then sirens.  Between the smell and the sirens, my master came home.  He looked concerned as he came through the garage and onto the porch. He didn’t so much as acknowledge me, he just looked up to the sky and then rushed inside. 

    Then the sirens came, and everyone was suddenly here- the grandparents too.  Then everyone left.  And I was left outside to sleep. I really prefer to sleep in my kennel inside.  This went on for two nights. 

    Then they returned, and I continued to be ignored.  Yes, they fed me, and they let me inside to sleep, but the smell inside was still there.  Smoke I think they call it.  And I did not like it. I could tell they did not either. There were constantly people I did not know in and out of our house.  I sat and watched from the backyard. The lights inside came back on, then the TVs worked again.

    And the big kids were home all day, every day which was weird.  Based on the temperature outside, this didn’t seem right.  It was out of cycle. But they played with me in the backyard some, and I liked it.  

    My female master, who isn’t much of a master because I don’t see the need to mind her much given the low level of attention she gives me, seemed concerned about everything going on at home, but I could sense there was something bigger going on.  My male master was gone much more than usual.  Where was he? 

    Then one day she started loading up the car, with lots and lots of things.  Back and forth from inside to the garage she went over and over carrying things. Where were we going?  Was I going? Based on the looks of all she was loading, there was not going to be room for me.  Were they escaping the smell and leaving me in it? 

    One of the grandparents arrived, the ones with the other dog and my kennel went in the back of his truck, and I went too.  

    I began to worry.  Where am I going with him? He drove away with me in his truck. But then the smell changed, and I could tell that we were headed to my favorite place.  The river.  Would my family be coming too? 

    Not long after, they all arrived.  The female and the three kids.   The grandparent unloaded my kennel to the porch and left. 

    After my female owner unloaded everything she had packed up, I could see her visibly begin to relax. She likes it here too, but I could sense that the circumstances in which we were here were different this time. 

    I did what I usually do in my favorite place.  I slept late, even though my male master was still leaving before the sun woke up.  I swam and did my favorite thing, I ran with my masters and the kids.  We went to the park where I supervised their play from the shade.  

    My little girl had gotten noticeably better at the monkey bars since we were here last time. My second male master, the oldest boy, ran some with the adults to the park.  I sensed a fluidness in his stride that suggested he was born to run much like me.  And the bab, well, had he even been here before? He sat and watched in his stroller and giggled when I came to nudge him.    

    We didn’t seem to be in a rush to leave the park.   And we didn’t seem to be in a rush to leave my favorite place at all.   After a couple of days, I began to prepare myself to go back home. We only usually get a couple of days here at a time. Were we going to return to the smell and the distracted nature of everyone always coming and going to something?  In and out of the house they go to the garage to where I’m not sure because they don’t take me with them. 

    But then two days passed, then a week. And then another. And we are still here.  I get to come inside some.  And I get petted a lot. I love to be petted. I humor the little girl as she “walks” me on my leash.  There is no need for the leash down here, but I sense this ritual is part of her play.  So, I play along.

    And I am brushed.  My masters bought this expense brush a while back to get rid of my constant shedding this time of year, but they rarely seemed to have the time to use it.  It feels good to be brushed.  I feel cooler, lighter. 

    And I think I am lighter.  I eat my usual two meals a day and anything I can scrounge up that someone has dropped.  But I’m outside more and I run more, play more, and it makes me feel lighter. 

    The baby even sits with me some and examines my paws with his fat hands.  I give him a kiss often and he grins at me. 

    From the tone of my master’s conversations, I can tell something serious is going on.  I think it may have something to do with people’s health and I think it is part of what is causing our extended stay here in addition to the bang, smell, and sirens.  I also think it is why, even when my male master has not left early in the morning, he is on the phone a lot.   Work I think they call it. But he seems happy. He gets to mow the grass, and I know he loves to see that completed.  A lot of what he does for what they call work never seems to ever reach completion. 

    And her work. She seems to be working.  I hear her on the phone talking to other people about work and issues. She puts it on speaker while we are walking so I can hear too.  But she doesn’t seem to work at the same pace as before.  I don’t see her looking at the screen as much. She’s not constantly rushing to and from the house to the garage, off in her car, back again, and then off again.   It’s as if this is the only place we need to be. Here, now. And she likes it. 

    And I’m minding her more.  Because she pays attention to me more.  And to the kids.  They play Beauty shop and lava monsters.  They draw and paint and read. They bake Cupcakes  I did get in trouble for taking one off the counter, but it was worth it.  It was good.   

    The big kids walk down the lane to take the neighbor some cupcakes.  I supervise this trip. 

    They examine waterfalls on their bike rides and try to find what is making the pecking noise in the trees.  They watch some TV, but I can tell that when my female master is watching what she wants to and not some kids show, it isn’t really what she wants to do.  She gets that look on her face, that look of concern.  But she turns it off. It is being turned on less and less. They play in the sand and on the swing.  I supervise this too. 

    I know that something has gone terribly wrong to have brought us to my favorite place for so long but maybe, something has also gone horribly right.   

    I hope we stay at this pace and place more. 

     

    Author’s Note:

     Just as COVID-19 was beginning to take shape here, our house was struck by lightning and caught the attic on fire.  My husband was literally on the phone with 911 as he was getting an incoming call from the hospital where he works as an administrator to decide how to proceed with what would become the first case of COVID-19 in our area.  

    We have been fortunate that no one was hurt in the fire, and the property damage while inconvenient and costly, is all fixable and covered by insurance.  As they repair our home, we are lucky to have a place to stay that happens to be out of town, away from the chaos, and with a lovely view of the Tennessee River.  

    We are fortunate too, that as of this writing, none of our friends or family members have contracted the virus. 

    During “normal” days, but especially during uncertain times, there is a flood of emotion.  In the midst of crisis, there is still good, and sometimes good that can only truly be seen when there is bad.  

    I sent a picture to my family members of the kids playing at the park a day or two after we settled here.  Our black lab, Lou, was laying under the monkey bars watching the kids.  Almost immediately the responses came in from grandparents and they were all, not about the kids, but about how happy the dog must be. 

    This gave me pause.  The dog is happy? I rarely care if the dog is anything, let alone happy.  I have too much going on to care about the dog most days.  But, it gave me pause to see this all through the lens of Lou. 

    Happy she is.  And despite this uncertainty and tragedy, we are too.  And I wonder, why do we not live like this more?  Things will eventually return to “normal” but I’m not sure I will position my family’s life back just the way it was.  I pray I won’t and the dog does too. 

     

  • 3 Things Leaders Don’t Do in Times of Crisis

    3 Things Leaders Don’t Do in Times of Crisis

    We are still in the midst of an unprecedented time in our country and world, with so many unknowns related to COVID-19 and its impact on quite literally everything. Last week, I wrote about 4 things leaders do in times of crisis based on my observations of leaders in action.

    Well, we’ve been on this train of crisis for over a week now locally, and just like there are observations about how to behave as a leader, I’ve been exposed to how not to behave as a leader during times of distress.

    Through further observations, here are three things leaders don’t do in times like these:

    1. They don’t make the crisis about themselves. It has almost become laughable as one person has described to me how an appointed task force leader has responded to his newly appointed role as leader given the crisis. Every day, there is a new story about this leader being anything but a leader through his actions, all of which are tied to him making everything about himself.

    From the pronouns he uses (I, me, my) when he addresses a group or individual about the situation, to the fact that not even a week into the situation he said he had to “take some time off” because of the impact the situation was having on him (while everyone else on the task force and those he is leading remain at work 14-16 hours a day). I am constantly amazed at how some people have no perspective on the bigger picture of a crisis of this or any proportion. They instead choose for it to be an opportunity to draw attention to themselves and their position instead of modeling what it means to be a leader through their own behavior.

    In addition, organizations that are not on the forefront of fighting this epidemic don’t come out and act like the largest martyrs of this situation. Yes, this is going to hurt all businesses and peoples’ livelihoods and this is tragic. But when I get an email from a vineyard I’ve visited while traveling where I bought one bottle of wine and their email basically implies that the tragedy is theirs and theirs alone to bear, it makes me want to vomit (and never buy wine from them again). Kris Dunn has some similar thoughts in one of his recent posts. Check it out.

    To be a leader in a crisis, realize it’s all about everyone else, not you.

    2. They don’t neglect their own health. Having said that leaders realize it isn’t all about them may make this second point seem counterintuitive, however, you can’t lead if you are so sick or burnt out. Being sick or so exhausted you can’t function takes away from your ability to help others. When you can, sleep. When you can, exercise. When you can, eat right. And realize that doing all of this really happens before a crisis even hits. Instilling healthy habits when there isn’t a crisis helps to ensure they will continue even in times of crisis. This gives you the reserves to manage the crisis when you don’t have time for the things that you normally do to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

    In this situation given a pandemic, this also involves following the proper protocols to not contract and spread the illness.

    To be a leader in a crisis, you have to take care of yourself in good times and bad.

    3. They don’t check their humanity and the humanity of others at the door. Leading during a serious time calls for serious thoughts and actions. However, the things that make us uniquely human and make living worth living through difficult times are our ability to laugh and love. True leaders during these times don’t neglect the small points of holiness that are demonstrated through laughter and love.

    I’ve enjoyed more funny videos this week as people have sent them trying to lift others out of the anxiety this situation is creating, even if it is only for a few moments.

    Some of my favorites:

    I’ve taken more time to enjoy the sheer joy in our seven-month old’s giggles this week.  There really is nothing better than a baby laughing and smiling.  So I’ll leave you with a glimpse of that here: 

    To be a leader in a crisis, you have to still live, laugh, and love. 

  • 4 Keys to Leading through Crisis

    4 Keys to Leading through Crisis

    We are experiencing unprecedented times given the ever-evolving issues with COVID-19.  It is scary and unnerving for everyone, especially those leading during this time of crisis.  

    I’ve been watching a few leaders in action over these last few days.  Their actions have provided some insights into the courage, energy, and attitude that is required to inspire and influence others when things are uncertain, novel, and anxiety-ridden. 

    Here is what I’ve learned leaders need to do during all situations of leadership, but most especially when leading through a crisis: 

    1. Lead by Example:  First, leaders do what they say they will do.  If you are telling people not to panic, you can’t panic either.  If you are asking people to be at work or not be at work, then you need to do the same.  If you are telling people to wash their hands and how or are telling them to wear appropriate personal protective equipment (PPE) then you need to do the same.  Model the behavior you want to see. 

    2. Lead by Putting People First:  I’ll be the first to admit I am very concerned about the economic impact this pandemic is going to have on my small business and the other small businesses around me.  Many are saying their first priority is people’s safety and rightly so, but also of concern is being able to pay people when there is no business to conduct due to quarantine or other issues.  So what do you do?  You do the next right thing, and that is putting people first. At some point, this is putting people first where their health and safety are concerned, and at other times it’s putting people first by making sure you can provide for their financial well-being and sometimes it is both all at once. 

    For example, I had a dentist appointment scheduled for Wednesday.  My dentist is planning to cease operations for three weeks starting on Wednesday.  She asked that my children and I come in early to fill cancellation slots on Monday and Tuesday.  Her priority in this situation is being able to generate as much revenue as she can before having to shut down in order to be able to pay her staff (and herself).  A member of her staff met me at my car to take my temperature before coming into the building. She also asked me a series of questions about my health, where I’ve traveled, and who I’ve been around before letting me enter.  This is to ensure the safety and health of her staff and her other patients.  Upon finding out that my husband works in a healthcare setting where he may have been exposed to the virus, they told me they would need to reschedule my appointment.  I see this is a prime example of putting people first. She is managing the complex issues surrounding this imperative as a leader by considering both people’s physical and financial well-being, gathering information, and then making a case-by-case decision.  

    3. Lead by Communicating:  Communicating with a variety of people, in a variety of settings with a variety of needs is a challenge on a regular day.  Add to the equation an unprecedented level of fear and anxiety, and you have a perfect storm on your hands.  To communicate effectively during this situation, leaders need to: 

    • Communicate often.  Schedule regular intervals of communication updates and implement by the minute updates when breaking or new information becomes available. Depending on your industry and situation this may be different and require different modes.  In most cases as soon as you know, others should know if it impacts their wellbeing and work. 
    • Communicate transparently.  Provide direct, factual information as you know it. In most cases, your opinion or emotions aren’t needed during a crisis. 
    • Listen.  When emotions are high, our natural tendency is to not listen as effectively as we would in a non-stressed state.  Eliminate distractions while listening and ask clarifying questions to make sure you have heard the messages given to you as intended.   It may also be wise to take a notebook and pen with you everywhere you go (if you don’t already) to write down what you’ve heard and what you need to follow-up on because, during a stressed state, we are more likely to forget or misunderstand things when we go to interpret or act on them. 

    4. Lead by Thinking Creatively.   Novel times require novel actions.  I have been amazed by the creativity I have seen in leaders trying to navigate the ever-evolving crisis.  For example, my sister-in-law owns a dance studio.  She made the decision, by following the leading by example and leading by putting people first to close the studio for the safety and wellbeing of her students, staff, and families. She also is trying to put people first by maintaining a payroll.  If students can’t dance, she feels like she cannot charge tuition.  So, she is working on online video streaming content for all her students so they can continue with their practice at home.   This will allow her students to get the services they desire through a modified delivery channel, thus still charging tuition and still being able to pay her staff.  

    From how to provide childcare to healthcare workers that have to report to work but are dealing with schools closings for at least three weeks; to figuring out how to rapidly test individuals without exposing others to the virus; to watching business owners adapt to find new sources of revenue to be able to continue to pay employees; we are truly a country filled with ingenuity through our people.  This is what will get us through this storm, and I am confident we will all come out better leaders and people on the other side. 

    How are you leading through the crisis today? 

  • Our Schedules Communicate Priorities

    Our Schedules Communicate Priorities

    On a Sunday morning about 7 AM, I was in the middle of a run. It was a quiet, beautiful fall morning until I looped back around and through the sports and water park complex near my house.  Cars started driving by and turning into the parking lot by the tennis center. I could hear an abundance of tennis balls popping off rackets as, what seemed to be, many people warming up.

    I’ve run by on other Sunday mornings about that time to see what couldn’t be older than five and six-year-olds warming up for soccer matches. The minivans and SUVS of their parents had to have filled the parking lots with license plates from other counties and even other states before the sun even woke up.

    On a Sunday.

    Call me old fashioned, but this early morning quest for getting more travel soccer, or travel tennis, or travel whatever sport in for young kids just blows my mind, even if it is driving in tons of revenue for my hometown as people come and put heads in beds with their entire family for an elementary school kid to play sports all weekend.

    What is the reasoning behind what has seemed to largely be held by society as a day of rest a day to get in more sports, Sunday after Sunday? Maybe it is the mindset of practice makes perfect as I wrote about last week, but whatever it is, it’s communicating that the sport, whatever it may be, is the priority. Our schedule communicates our priorities. On the weekend, family time isn’t the priority, or church or even time for a kid to rest a little and enjoy a free day to just be a kid.

    I’ve had several discussions revolving around this idea of how priorities are being communicated to kids. One mom whose little girl isn’t even six months old mentioned her concern with her family growing “overscheduled” as kids’ activities develop. Another expressed concern over an hour worth of homework for her daughter on a night when she had church and dance.  My own mother even expressed her observation about how kids don’t have time to just be kids anymore.

    Even the Today Show had a segment addressing the increase in homework kids have to complete these days, with one teacher expressing it is not the amount of homework but the amount of extracurricular things on kids’ calendars today that results in what should take 15 minutes of homework “double and triple” that amount of time because, by the time the student actually sits down to do the homework, they have already had so much packed into their day that they are just DONE (fast forward to 2:15 of the clip to hear this comment).

    Traveling and playing soccer all day every weekend for a season to me, brings on the sense of DONE before the week even starts.  Especially for a six-year-old.

    But if I’m honest with myself, I worry that I’ll be sucked into the travel soccer or tennis or baseball or dance craze with my own son and daughter (who will arrive in March) and they are only two and not even born yet.   When everyone is doing it, aren’t you just supposed to follow suit?

    What does this have to do with leadership?

    Whether we are the leader of our households or the leader of a team or company, or even the leader of our own lives, realizing that we are communicating priorities to our people and ourselves by how we prioritize time is important.

    Do you occupy your own time or your team’s with multiple meetings? I had one professional in leadership class tell me most of his weeks are composed of 30 hours on average of meetings.   By the time he was able to get to the work that he was supposed to do as a result of all these meetings, he was just DONE, not being able to contribute meaningfully to his purpose, and therefore his ability to produce value, for the organization.

    Maybe as a parent, we do want sports or other extracurricular activities or homework to be the priority for our children. But my challenge would be, if one thing takes the priority, by the time they get to everything else are they just DONE? And is it even what they want? Is what we schedule helping them express who they are and how they can contribute to the family and to society in a meaningful way or is the schedule communicating something else entirely?

    As a leader, help people define how they contribute meaningfully and then avoid overschedule them with things that don’t help them see this through.  

    Where are you, your team, or your family overscheduled with things that don’t truly matter?

  • How to be Authentic with Your Appreciation at Work

    How to be Authentic with Your Appreciation at Work

    What is your most desired love language- or language of appreciation- at work? The Motivating by Appreciation (MBA) Inventory assessment can help you and your colleagues discern this. 

    What makes giving and receiving appreciation at work so hard?  Often, it is the simple fact that we’ve been conditioned to follow the golden rule instead of the platinum one.

    The golden rule says to do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  So in context, if my language of appreciation is quality time, then the way I live the golden rule is to give you quality time because it is what I desire. 

    By contrast, if I’m living the platinum rule at work, I’m doing unto you as you want to be treated, not as I want to be treated.  Therefore, if you desire acts of service as your primary love language at work, showing my appreciation to you in this way is how I will treat you instead of giving you quality time as my default. 

    Research cited in The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace notes that 75% of people predominantly speak the love language they want to receive.  This is true of the assessment of love language outside of work for romantic relationships and kids and teens as well.

    And it makes sense that we do this, because it takes less energy to give what comes naturally to us, and what comes naturally to us is what we want and need ourselves. 

    The best leaders and colleagues (and spouses and parents) however, take the time and energy to know people well and customize their behavior towards what others need or what the situation best requires.  This is called self-monitoring.  Some people call it emotional intelligence. Others simply call it exhausting. 

    And it is exhausting.  But what often wears us thin, wears us less thin the more we do it.  And the more we do it, the more people feel appreciated, and the less they crave it if they are getting it regularly enough.  They become less needy and we become less exhausted.  And they give more back to us and others when they are less needy too. 

    So the next time you get frustrated with someone acting like they are unappreciated at work or simply acting in a way that is so foreign or different than you would ever behave and they are wearing you out, take the time to reflect on what makes them tick. 

    And if you’re frustrated no one is taking the time to appreciate you, reflect on why that is as well.  You’d do well to notice how others are trying to appreciate you and realize that is probably how they want to be appreciated themselves. 

    Having a discussion about what kind of “love” we all want and need, and recognizing we are all are different I think was the intent of the person who spoke of the need for the golden rule, to begin with.  Simply follow the example of meeting people where they are with what they need. 

     

    How do you best show people appreciation at work?