Stressed about helping your high school senior pick a college? The acceptance letters have started coming in and you’re not sure what is the best option for them, or you feel like you do, but you’re worried you will be too vocal with your opinion of what you think is best.
Experienced your freshman or sophomore in college leaving to go back to school from the Thanksgiving holiday almost in tears because they hate the classes they are taking and thus their major?
We get calls this time of year from concerned parents seeking help on how to advise their child who have experienced just these things. One mom told us, “I didn’t know what to do. She got in the car to go back to school crying. I had no idea what to tell her.”
In weighing decisions, big or small, it’s always good to make a pros and cons list, not a good and bad list.
You think the smaller, liberal arts school is a better fit for your child instead of the big university, and you are probably right. But if you frame one school as all good and one as all bad, you may wind up in a fight.
Know you can’t afford to send them to the Ivy League school even though the got in because no scholarship money is available? Yet they have been offered a full-ride to the state school? Make a pros and cons list comparing their options including the con that they will have to work to help pay for their top choice school (which, by the way, may not be a con at all- working to pay for ones own education may be a pro).
Think they need to stick it out in physics even though they hate it because it’s a necessary step in fulfilling their dream (or is it your dream?) of being a doctor? Make a pros and cons list surrounding the decision to switch career focus with them instead of telling them to suck it up.
You’ll find that if you help facilitate a pros and cons list, instead of telling them what to do, nine times out of ten they’ll make the best decision on their own and will be more apt to stick with it because they see it as their decision, not yours.
How have you helped your child navigate career and college decisions?
