Horizon Point Consulting

Category: Skills Improvement

We all need a little personal development mixed in with our professional and career development. Read blogs in this category for personal skills improvement.

  • DWYSYWD- Lessons from the Elementary School Guidance Counselor

    DWYSYWD- Lessons from the Elementary School Guidance Counselor

    One of the first things we teach in our personal leadership course is the concept of DWYSYWD- Do What You Say You Will Do.   It involves committing to what you can do, or as Covey would put it, committing to your circle of influence and focusing on being accountable with what you can do instead of worrying about things that you cannot do something about.  For example, I cannot do anything about whether or not a stay at home order is extended or relaxed this week in my state, but I can wash my hands, not touch my face, and wear a mask when appropriate to help stop the spread of the virus. 

    As Covey states, this then allows us to be better leaders by helping our circle of influence grow. If my kids watch me wash my hands regularly, then maybe they will too.  If we can’t influence our own behavior, then how can we expect to influence the behavior of others? 

    During times of uncertainty like we are in now, it is easy to de-commit to anything and to not hold ourselves and others accountable.  

    I’m thankful for the staff at my son’s school for creating routines in their work and for guidance counselors like Jan Mendenhall who send out notes of encouragement, linking the current situation to leadership lessons for my children.  This helps them (and me) stay committed during uncertain times. 

    Here’s her note to the students from last week.  I hope it brings you the perspective and motivation to DWYSYWD this week to better lead yourself and others.  And to hit the reset button if you need to. 

     

     

    Wednesday, April 22, 20/20

    Week 3 of Virtual Leon

    Do you all remember way, way, way back in August when we were actually all in the school building together and were able to have conversations in person? We talked about goals and accountability, which means we should do what we say we’re going to do. I’ll be honest with you all: Last week I did better with my attitude, and it helped to daily write down three positive things. I tried to complete my daily to-do list, but I was beyond pathetic with my physical fitness goals. I didn’t do what I said I was going to do. Guess what? I hit the reset button Monday and have been much better about walking, exercising, and riding my bike – even when I’d rather lounge around, play Spider Solitaire, and eat donuts! What do you need to do better on? Be accountable to yourself, and ask someone at your house to hold you to it. One of my favorite authors is coming out with a new book next week, and that – not a donut! – is going to be my reward IF I DO WHAT I SAID I WAS GOING TO DO! Stay tuned for next week’s email because there may be a really cool prize involved! Until then, take care. Wash your hands. Be safe. Be well. Choose kind. Love you!

     

    What is one thing this week you can do to follow through on DWYSYWD? 

     

  • What Does Your Resume Say About You?

    What Does Your Resume Say About You?

    As I was proofreading my son’s book report last night, I thought about how written communication is a window into our personality. My son had a few misspelled words and a word or two that was missing a letter altogether. It wasn’t the neatest either. He’s 13 and always does things in a hurry, just like his dad. This is evident in his book report and most areas of his life, including his messy room.

    On that note, I thought about resumes and how they also provide a glimpse into who we are. I facilitate an online career development class and review resume assignments on a weekly basis. I also do some contract career coaching and resume writing on the side. Often, I also receive resumes from colleagues asking me to pass them along. It amazes me the difference from one resume to the next and not just the content. Some resumes are flashy (too much) and others need a little extra formatting to stand out. 

    Stellar written communication can have an impact on your career opportunities. Here are a few musts when it comes to doing just that when preparing your resume:

    • Avoid misspelled words! Utilize spell check and have at least one person proofread before you send or upload your resume.
    • Use the correct verb tense. Current job responsibilities should be represented in the present tense. All previous job responsibilities should be in the past tense.
    • Make sure formatting is neat and allow for plenty of white space to make your resume more aesthetically pleasing.
    • Only include the most relevant information. Resumes should be no more than one page if you have less than five years of experience, and they should be no more than two pages if you have more than five years of experience. There are some exceptions to this rule depending on your career field.

    Check out The Point Blog for more insight into effective communication.

  • 4 Ways to Apply Quality Time at Work

    4 Ways to Apply Quality Time at Work

    “Would you rather me 1) give you a high five or 2) work on a puzzle with you?” I asked my five and nine-year-old over the holiday break.  

    It was one set of about twenty force choice questions from the Five Love Languages for Kids quiz I was giving them in order to explore how my husband and I can continue to be mindful of how we can best customize our parenting to each child. 

    Both easily answered, “Work on a puzzle with you.” 

    The Love Languages quiz started in romantic relationships and describes five primary love languages: 

    1. Physical Touch
    2. Receiving Gifts
    3. Words of Affirmation
    4. Quality Time
    5. Acts of Service

    It helps us to build self-awareness of how we like to give and receive love.  

    We continued through the questions and discovered that both our children’s primary love language is quality time. 

    My husband stumbled into the quiz with the kids, so he and I also both took the couple’s quiz. Turns out, both of our primary love languages is also quality time. 

    So being mindful of this, we have started family night on Friday evenings which consists of making homemade pizza or some other simple meal together, eating, and either playing a game or watching a movie together.  We are trying to be mindful of how to give and receive love in a way that is meaningful, and we are fortunate that we all have the same primary love language. 

    Turns out love languages are also applicable in the workplace.  The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace and the corresponding Motivating by Appreciation (MBA) Inventory assessment help colleagues better understand how to customize appreciation towards others in order to build successful and empowering relationships at work. 

    Quality time may be your language of appreciation, but at work, it doesn’t have to be expressed through pizza and game night, and that isn’t actually how most people at work want or need it to be expressed.  

    From the book, “Our research indicates…. The employee simply wants to feel that what they are doing is significant and that their supervisor values their contribution.  Taking a few minutes to check-in and hear how things are going communicates genuine expression of interest in what they are doing and makes them feel valued.” 

    So if you are a supervisor or colleague is someone who values quality time, how do you express this at work?  Here are four ways to express quality time, grounded in realizing that by giving away time, you are giving away your most precious resource.  And your time is not about proximity to someone but about personal attention. 

    1. Focused attention:  On our first family game night, I started cleaning up the kitchen about ten minutes into the game while my husband was resisting the urge to look at his phone.  This new “tradition” wasn’t going to be successful if we didn’t focus all of our attention on it, and our kids quickly reminded us of this. “Mom, it’s your turn. Why are you cleaning up now?” they asked.   

    If we want to be good at giving quality time, we have to focus our attention on specifically that.  Stop multitasking, give undivided attention, and listen to give away true quality time.

    2. Quality conversation: The book states that this is “dialogue in which two individuals are sharing their thoughts, feelings and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context.”  This is why and where regular one-on-ones with those you manage are so important.  And this means your one-on-ones have to comply with number one above- focused attention.   Your phone, email, etc. should be put up during quality conversations.  

    Quality conversation requires empathetic listening by maintaining eye contact, resisting the urge to interrupt, listening for feelings and thoughts, observing body language and affirming feelings even if you disagree with their conclusions. 

    It also requires asking good questions.  Even though we don’t have a game or movie night every day of the week with our kids, we do try to sit down as a family for dinner most nights of the week.  Quality conversation is started by everyone having to answer three questions: 1) What was your high of the day? 2) What was your low of the day? and 3) What is your hope for tomorrow?  This has led to meaningful dialogue and a better understanding of each other. 

    3. Shared Experiences: Connecting inside and outside of work through shared experiences is an important way to express quality time.  Research by the authors of the book indicates that “men whose primary appreciation language is quality time often prefer to share experiences as opposed to sit-down conversations.”  A round of golf anyone? 

    We have quarterly planning meetings as a team at Horizon Point, which usually involves a full day of sitting around a table focusing attention and engaging in quality conversation to plan for the next three months.  I decided to begin 2020 by adding the element of the shared experience to this. We took the first part of our meeting where we shared our 2019 accomplishments and brainstormed on goals for a walk on the Wheeler Wildlife Refuge. The Sandhill Cranes are out in full force this time of year, and it was great to get outside with everyone and experience something together.   

     

    4. Working collegially with coworkers on a task and small group dialogue.  “Research shows that millennials and even Gen-Xers highly value working collaboratively with others,” states the book.   Working in groups is a way to engage learning and small group dialogue along with it helps to generate ideas and suggestions in a way that may help people feel less intimidated than by sharing one-on-one thoughts with their supervisor. 

    The key to applying love languages of appreciation at work is to make it personal.  By tuning in to what people need and giving them that- as opposed to what we need or what is easiest to give or what we can give in one blanketed way to everyone all at once- is the best way to show appreciation and motivate towards positive results. 

     

    How do you want to be appreciated at work? 

  • It is What It Is, or Is It? How to Shift from a Fixed to Growth Mindset

    It is What It Is, or Is It? How to Shift from a Fixed to Growth Mindset

    “I can’t turn little Johnny into a Stanford bound student,” said one school principal when I was meeting with him.  “These parents expect us to take a B or C student with a 21 on the ACT and create Ivy League individuals. I get all the hype about growth mindset,” he said. “It is everywhere in my world, but the truth is, I can’t take your five-foot-nothing kid that can’t jump and turn him into Michael Jordan no matter what I do.”

    I get it. Some goals are realistic and some are just delusional. He was quite funny sharing these thoughts, and although I agree with his point, I think he’s missed the point about what growth mindset really is.

    What is it, anyway?  As we wrote about in a previous post, growth mindset is “the idea that skills and abilities can be improved, and the development of skills and abilities is the goal of the work you do.”

    One of my husband’s favorite phrases is, “It is what it is.” It’s his catch-all response when he wants to bring my glass half full mindset down to earth or when I blame myself for things not being better than they are whether it be our kids’ behavior or my progress on tackling a task and getting it done.  It’s his way to try to tell me that things (or people) don’t change, so don’t worry yourself over it.  It is what it is.

    It is a classic fixed mindset thinking. Thinking that says we are born a certain way and we can’t get better or worse at much. We are what we are. Our behavior is what it is.

    But is it? Can we change things through our mindset?

    In the War for Kindness, the author asks the same questions about what most people see as a fixed trait- empathy.  Many of the things that govern our behavior we see as traits, he says, things that are relatively fixed over time and situations.  But he argues that most things are actually skills instead of traits.  Things we can practice and get better at doing and feeling. Even empathy. We can apply principles and practices to strive to be more empathetic and when we do, we become kinder individuals. Doing the practice is the focus.

    We’d be well served in education and in the workplace to realize this.

    So how do we do this? First, we can think, “If this, now what?” in our thoughts and questions, changing our mindset from a fixed one to one focused on growth. And as leaders, we need to do this and model it in order for others to do it too.

    For example, “I don’t really like to do business development. I don’t know how to do it and I’m not good at it,” is a fixed mindset approach.

    You may honestly not like to do business development work. It may not come naturally to you, so it’s hard. But is it what is? Do you leave it at that?

    A growth mindset, by contrast, would acknowledge the difficulty but would say now what? For example, “I don’t really like to do business development and I’m don’t feel like I’m good at it, but if I practice it, I will get better at it.  I’m going to ask two new contacts to lunch this week to tell them about our products and services.  And I’m going to keep doing that every week for the next quarter and see what results I get.”

    You can acknowledge your current reality, without it limiting your future one.

    And as this practice shows, it’s often the way we frame our thinking that helps us to become more empathetic or a better performer at work within the range we have to work with.  The thinking has to come before anything can change.

    So the kid that is striving for the Ivy League may not get into the Ivy League school of their choice, but by focusing on growth and practicing to get better they may raise their ACT or SAT score several points.  And the process of that may teach them more about grit, resilience, and perseverance than the academic subjects on the tests.  In the process, that leads them to be a better student and get more out of college, even if it is “only” at a great state school.

    How can you acknowledge “If this, now what?” instead of settling for “It is what it is?”

    Like this post? You may also like:

    It’s a Long Term Game, not a Short One

  • A Pound of Prevention

    A Pound of Prevention

    “A pound of prevention is worth an ounce of cure” is a phrase I heard for the first time this week.

    I was at lunch with an attorney who specializes in employment law, and she said that phrase as we were talking about clients who don’t see the benefit of proactive, preventative measures and instead just hope everything turns out alright. I immediately wrote it down and googled when I got home, and the internet says it’s a Benjamin Franklin quote. Apparently, Franklin wrote an anonymous letter to his own newspaper in Philadelphia in 1735 about the importance of preparing for possible fires ahead of time versus waiting until the fire is burning to make a plan. 

    How many of us have waited until the metaphorical (or literal) fire was burning to actually do something? 

    One of the common “fires” companies face is invaluable leaders retiring or leaving for other opportunities. Many organizations do not spend enough time proactively planning for succession, and then they find themselves without a VP or other critical leader and have to scramble to find a suitable replacement. We speak to this in our recent blog post “Who Is Your Successor?”. 

    Another fire that can burn quickly is non-compliance – knowingly or unknowingly failing to comply with employment law. This is common for small businesses who see rapid growth and suddenly find themselves crossing the FTE thresholds for various legislation (e.g. the Affordable Care Act typically applies at 50 FTEs). As a business owner and/or leader, you are responsible for ensuring that your organization complies with federal, state, and local employment laws. If you operate your business in more than one state, you may need to take another look at your policies. Having an updated employee handbook – and actually having every employee read and agree to it – is a pound of prevention that every single organization needs to take seriously. 

    We don’t wait until the fire is burning to buy an extinguisher. Let’s not wait until there’s trouble to protect our organizations and our employees.