Category: Personal Development

A couple of weeks back a friend of mine posted an article from Forbes. It was titled Empathy Is The Most Important Leadership Skill According to Research. The first thought that came to mind was am I empathetic? What is the exact definition? In my quest for knowledge on the topic, I loved what Brene Brown shares in her book Atlas of The Heart, “We need to dispel the myth that empathy is ‘walking in someone else’s shoes. ‘ Rather than walking in your shoes, I need to learn how to listen to the story you tell about what it’s like in your shoes and believe you even when it doesn’t match my experiences.”

A beautiful example of empathy in leadership is the glue that holds Horizon Point together, Mary Ila. My son was hospitalized a few months back dealing with behavioral challenges. As a first-time parent, no one quite prepares you for checking your 5-year-old in for a psychiatric stay. Much less having to check in through your local ER and trying to entertain them for 3 days while a bed opens up (some parents wait weeks). To say I was overwhelmed was an understatement. However, when it came to my job, it was the last thing that I was concerned about. Mary Ila told me not to worry about a thing and that our team would handle it. She even scheduled time to sit with my child for a few hours on her busy Monday morning. I politely declined her first offer, and she insisted that I go take a shower or anything else that I might need to do. 

All in all, that experience makes me want to work that much harder for a company that goes above and beyond for its employees. You see, Mary Ila put herself in my position and treated me as a human being rather than a human doing. I felt safe and cared for, and won’t forget to pass that kindness along to the next person walking through their season of suffering. 

Great, you might say, but what does that look like in a result—driven work environment? Do I need another degree these days to be a mental health professional in order to run a business? How does that help our bottom line? Empathy leads to trust, which leads to better performance, retention, and recruitment. All that is required is the extra effort to listen and understand. 

So, what if I’m not naturally empathetic? Can I learn it? In fact, you can. One of the best ways to learn is empathy is to have the ability to express it. Your emotional vocabulary list helps with this https://karlamclaren.com/emotional-vocabulary-page/. Want more? Try this exercise from Psychology Today to brush up on your skills:

1. Think about your significant other or a friend, family member, or coworker.
2. What has their mood been like recently?
3. What’s going on in this person’s life that might be making them happy or sad, anxious, or angry?
4. How are you contributing?
5. What could you do or say to improve this person’s situation?

Empathy could very well be one of the necessary ingredients missing from the secret sauce to your overall workplace well-being. 

Read more at The Point Blog:

https://horizonpointconsulting.com/blog3/item/show-compassion-save-your-empathy/

https://horizonpointconsulting.com/blog3/item/leading-through-expectations-and-empathy/

https://horizonpointconsulting.com/blog3/item/3-questions-for-balancing-empathy-and-expectations-as-a-leader/

Did you like school growing up? Were you one of the “smart” kids or did you just get by? Were you bored in the classroom or excited to be there?

How about at work? Are you one of the “smart” ones? 

When you are training or in a learning setting on the job, do you pick up on concepts quickly or do you find yourself being one of the “slow” ones?  Does the learning engage your attention or leave you questioning why you are doing what you are doing? 

Whatever category you fall into, I’d challenge you-and maybe more importantly, those teaching and leading- to think about the source of the ease or difficulty.  This may have more to do with how things are being taught and whether they cater to specific types of intelligences rather than whether or not people are “smart”. 

And in most formal learning environments, we tend to only cater to two of the nine intelligences postulated by Harvard Professor Howard Gardner- linguistic intelligence and logical-mathematical intelligence.  Gardner says of these intelligences, they are “particularly important for learning in the kinds of schools that we have today- ones that feature listening to lectures, reading, writing, and calculating- and they are crucial on those tests that purport to assess human intellect and cognitive potential.” 

But Gardner says we get it all wrong if we stop here.  Other intelligences that Gardner suggests from his research are: 

“Noncanonical” Intelligences: 

• Musical Intelligence: “Facility in the perception and production of music.” 
• Spatial Intelligence: “The capacity to form spatial representations or images in one’s mind, and to operate upon them variously.”
• Bodily-Kinesthetic Intelligence: “The capacity to solve problems or create products using your whole body, or parts of your body like your hand or your mouth.” 
• Naturalist Intelligence: “Entails the capacities to make consequential discriminations in the natural world.” 

Personal Intelligences: “Knowing Human Beings”

• Knowing Oneself: Self-Awareness
• Knowing Others

Existential Intelligence: “Religious” or “Spiritual” intelligence

I’d venture to guess that as you read this list, there are one or more where you feel like you excel.  Is it recognized in your workplace?  Does learning content cater to your style? 

If you are a leader or trainer/facilitator, I’d encourage you to examine your learning opportunities at work to see if you are reaching everyone in your audience with their particular intelligence so you can capitalize on all people’s “smarts”. 

Some ideas for doing so: 

• Incorporate games and puzzles 
• Incorporate music 
• Incorporate outdoor activity and/or break up content where breaks in learning require participants to move around and go outside if possible
• Provide things to “fidget” with
• Get people to draw in order to convey thoughts and learning- to visualize concepts
• Have people interact with others regularly- through questions, role play, case studies, etc.
• Provide questions for self-reflection and thought and the time to do this
• Get people to teach what they have learned to others- creating and incorporating their own ideas for conveying concepts
• Give tools for people to practice and apply learning on the job and record and report their findings in the format or mode they prefer

When we begin to realize that all people are “smart”, we can then use that information to make sure we are incorporating a variety of ways to make sure our workplaces allow for the expression of each individual’s unique talents and contributions. 

What kind of intelligent are you?