Horizon Point Consulting

Category: Personal Development

We all need a little personal development mixed in with our professional and career development. Read blogs in this category for stories and best practices for personal wellness and wellbeing, skills improvement, and  more.

  • Take the Negative out of No

    Take the Negative out of No

    This past weekend the pastor from my former church in Virginia stepped down from his position due to health issues. As I watched the Indoctrination Ceremony to install the new pastor online, I was overwhelmed by my pastor’s grace and gratitude. I was inspired by his authenticity regarding his circumstances.

    As he spoke of his need to step down, he also spoke of his calling to step up into a supporting role for the new pastor, someone that has been a part of the church and supported him for many years. He spoke of saying “no”, so that he could say “yes” to God’s new calling for him.

    We are taught at a very young age that no carries a negative meaning and has negative results. But as William Ury outlines in his book The Power of the Positive No, if done right, saying no can have a positive impact and is necessary in order to get to the right yes.

    So how can you create a positive no?

    • Explain your reason for saying no. Perhaps you don’t have time or what is being asked is outside of your expertise.
    • Offer up an alternative. Offer to help find someone who can say yes or provide an alternative solution to the problem.
    • Don’t be afraid to say “I need time to think about it.” If you’re not sure if you can help, think about it and get back to them within a reasonable amount of time.
    • Confirm that you think the idea is a great one and apologize for not being able to help. Provide positive feedback to reinforce their efforts and let them know that you wish you could help to see it through.

    By taking the negative out of no, you keep the door open for a future yes.

    Like this post? You may also like:

    Saying “No” to Something is Saying “Yes” to Something Else
  • Are you living in gratitude?

    Are you living in gratitude?

    If you missed my “Living in Gratitude” blog, check it out here.

    Are you living in gratitude today? Take a couple of minutes to think about what you are grateful for.

    #authenticity

  • #MeToo and the Onslaught of Sexual Harassment Training Requests

    #MeToo and the Onslaught of Sexual Harassment Training Requests

    Long about mid-December when you couldn’t turn on the news without hearing about the next case of pervasive sexual harassment in every facet of the working world, our phone and inbox started blowing up with requests for sexual harassment training and training resources.

    Almost every HR leader was given direction from the C-Suite and/or self-directed to try to take the bull by the horns and “train” people on sexual harassment before they got hit with a claim in their workplace.

    Whereas I think driving a culture through behavioral actions is the best way to keep sexual harassment or any other form of harassment at bay (and training is just one part of this equation), there are some rules of thumb for “good” sexual harassment (or any form of harassment) training.

    1. Help people understand the laws behind sexual harassment to include the why and how of them.  Note:  Whereas you need to explain this so people can make sense of the precedent and legal ramifications, the more important issue is helping people understand and know when things are just plain wrong and inappropriate because they are wrong and inappropriate ways to treat people not because you might get sued.
    2. Help people understand the two types of sexual harassment: quid pro quo (“this for that”) and hostile work environments.  Most people have an easier time understanding and identifying quid pro quo, but most of the challenges today fall in the category of hostile work environments. Help people understand the factors that create a hostile work environment including actions that are unwanted, repeated, intimidating, hostile and offensive.  This should also include a discussion about the reasonable person standard and intent.  More on intent in a later post, but basically just because someone didn’t “intend” to be intimidating, hostile or offensive doesn’t mean they are not guilty of violating the law.
    3. Help people know what should be done if they feel they have been or are being harassed or have witnessed harassment.
    4. Help leaders know how behave if harassment is brought to their attention. This includes how to conduct an investigation.
    5. Understand and implement company policies and procedures related to harassment (number 3 and 4 should be interwoven with this).
    6. Apply learning with a case study in a small group format.

    I have found that the case study portion of the training we do to be the most valuable.  This is because most instances we deal with in the workplace aren’t Harvey Weinstein blatant.  They are shades of gray, and it takes thoughtful discernment and investigation by people driven leaders to understand and then solve the problems.  The case study gets people thinking and talking in a way that leads to better discernment and application of the principles learned.

    If you are in need of free resources related to sexual harassment training, here are some good videos to watch:

    Video 1

    Video 2

    Also helpful, from HR Magazine: How to Investigate Sexual Harassment Allegations.

     

    How have you handled the need to educate people on sexual harassment in your workplace?

     

     

     

  • Leaders, Does Your Attitude Speak Gratitude?

    Leaders, Does Your Attitude Speak Gratitude?

    If you missed my “Authenticity, Gratitude and Leadership” blog, check it out here.

    Forbes published an article titled:  Great Leaders have an Attitude of Gratitude – Do You?

    Here is an exert that resonates with our theme:

    Gratitude Practice

    Close your eyes. Focus on a blessing in your life… something you are thankful for. See an image of this blessing in your mind’s eye. Offer a silent “thank you” to the person or object of your blessing.

    Relax into the feeling of gratitude. Take a deep breath. Feel more gratitude.

    The latest brain research shows that six doses of feeling 30 seconds of gratitude daily (a whopping three minutes!) will enable your neurons to fire together and wire together around gratitude within a mere two weeks.

    This means you’ll more easily and frequently access the feeling of gratitude.

    Heck, we’re grateful for that!

    Doing Good Feels Good

    When leaders engage in this practice on a regular basis, they are able to generate gratitude from within, which allows them to show gratitude to others. This practice also reinforces a feeling of gratitude as second nature because it reinforces myelination. All of these amazing results occur in under 60-seconds. We all have 60-seconds per day to devote to gratitude.

     

    Check out the full article here.

    Are you showing gratitude as a leader?

    #authenticity

  • Finding Your Own Path

    Finding Your Own Path

    A recent conversation with my eight-year old son made me realize just how early in life we begin to compare ourselves to others and try to adjust who we are to fit in with those around us.

    As we continue to explore authenticity, and specifically being true to yourself and not comparing yourself to others, I am reminded of this quote.

    Our journeys are each unique, the paths we take are ours alone.

    For a great article about one man’s journey to being authentically happy and his three principles for accepting yourself, read Paul Dalton’s story.