Horizon Point Consulting

Category: Beyond Work

Beyond Work is our line of resources for people and community leaders looking for something new and innovative outside, be it a new job, career change, or personal development outside of work.

  • What’s Relationshipping, and How Do I Do It?

    What’s Relationshipping, and How Do I Do It?

    Networking establishes connection. Relationshipping builds bridges and two-way streets with sidewalks and wildflowers! When we relationship (yes, we’re using it as a verb), we have a sense of belonging. Belonging feeds engagement, creativity, and passion, which generate business success and real community impact. Come relationship with us!

    I recently had the great pleasure to speak at the NAVIGATE Nonprofit Network Conference as part of the Building Effective Teams track with Leadership Greater Huntsville. NAVIGATE is focused on equipping nonprofit leaders with the unique KSAs needed to operate on a lean budget, raise funds for continued operations, and provide services with a real impact. At the center of everything they do: RELATIONSHIPS. 

    As usual, I researched what others in the world are saying about Relationshipping. Here’s what Cornerstone Coworking had to say: 

    “When you can speak highly of a person or a business because you have a relationship with them, I feel like that is valued so much more than just passing along a business card because you stuck it in your purse. 

    Next time you find yourself stuck in a networking event, find the one person that is just standing out to you and start a conversation; not strictly focused on work, but about their life, their journey and what the future holds for them, personally and professionally. I guarantee, you’ll begin to build a relationship with someone and might be excited about what it turns into; might even be your next business partner!”

    With further supporting evidence, Meridian Resources says:

    “The term networking is overused, old, and tired. It is so 1990s. 

    We have the illusion of connection, but perhaps we have lost something very important in the activity – the art of building and nurturing true and lasting relationships, which has a significant impact on our personal and professional well-being.

    Do we find that it is more efficient to send a text than to make a call? Do we find it easier to send a quick email rather than to write a letter? Do we prefer communicating through technology within the safe cocoon of our office rather than personal conversations in the hallway? When we venture out, do we actively take the time to meet others and, more importantly, get to know them?”

    When I was a grad student, our career services director put us through a series of professional development courses at which we rolled our eyes…until we realized how relevant and meaningful his wisdom was. He introduced to us the term “relationshipping” as an alternative to traditional networking. In other words, shifting the mindset from swapping business cards to building and nurturing connections with a purposeful intent of understanding and serving others and the greater good. So…how do we do it? Meridian Resources outlines 6 steps: 

    1. Change Your Intent

      Build new relationships when you don’t “need” them. Instead of thinking WHAT can this person do for me, think WHO is this person and how can we support each other.

    2. Be People First

      People First is Horizon Point’s single most important operating value. Others use it, too. Angie Tinnell says, “People are fascinating with incredibly interesting stories to share. Stop parachuting into conversations and holding every minute hostage with all the things you’re passionate about. Instead, start getting excited about all the things the person across from you is passionate about.”

    3. Communicate Differently

      Pick up the phone and have a conversation. Write someone a handwritten thank you note. Take every opportunity to be around other people, whether it is enjoying coffee, lunch, or attending a business conference.Then, check in on people. In our hyper-active social world, the intentional “wanted to see how you are doing” message with no favor to ask at the end, can go a long way to building a strong relationship.
      For a refresher on Communication Skills, read our blog about the GREET Model!
    4. Serve Others

      Get out of yourself by putting others first.
      Instead of seeking people that can help you, look for people you can help. Not only another person, but extend yourself within the community.

      Be a connector.
      Think of two people in your life right now who don’t know each other, but would benefit from connecting with the other.
    5. Be Humble

      Humility is defined as doing for others without seeking attention by taking credit for your actions. This is the most essential element of relationshipping. A good dose of humility makes us approachable and receptive to others’ opinions, views, and support.

    6. Express Gratitude

      Acknowledge and sincerely thank those that help you along your journey. Sometimes the smallest action can make a tremendous difference in the future.

    At the end of the day, our entire lives are about relationships. Family, friends, partners, colleagues, suppliers, providers, we could not make it without them. How can you get better at Relationshipping?

     

  • Make Space to be Mindful

    Make Space to be Mindful

    When my oldest son was in elementary school, he started having some behavioral issues that I had never seen in him before. Like many young children he hadn’t yet learned how to manage his emotions and anger was his downfall. After some trial and error, what I found worked best for him was space. Together with his teacher we taught him that whenever he felt angry and out of control, to step out into the hallway away from everyone else and count until he calmed down and felt more in control of his emotions. It worked. His behavioral issues ceased and to this day he practices this self-management technique.

    What his teacher and I didn’t do was discount his feelings. How often have you ever had an emotional reaction or felt a certain way about something and then felt guilty for feeling that way? What we taught him without him realizing it was how to practice mindfulness. Psychology Today defines mindfulness as “a state of active, open attention to the present. This state is described as observing one’s thoughts and feelings without judging them as good or bad.” Mindfulness requires space. Space to be alone with your emotions, space to explore those emotions, and space to accept those emotions. Mindfulness is key to mastering the first two skills of emotional intelligence – self-awareness and self-management.

    Emotional intelligence is the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically. This includes being aware of and managing your own emotions, which is what my son’s teacher and I helped him learn. And it also includes being aware of how your emotions impact others and being able to read the emotions of others.

    Next week I’ll be joining many other HR professionals at Perdido Beach Resort for the annual Alabama SHRM State Conference & Expo, where I’ll be speaking about the importance of emotional intelligence in leadership. I hope you’ll join me there to learn more about the four skills of emotional intelligence and ways to improve your emotional intelligence, as well as a quick test to see how emotionally intelligent you are! 

  • Caring About Someone You Can’t See-Empathy in Leadership

    Caring About Someone You Can’t See-Empathy in Leadership

    A couple of weeks back a friend of mine posted an article from Forbes. It was titled Empathy Is The Most Important Leadership Skill According to Research. The first thought that came to mind was am I empathetic? What is the exact definition? In my quest for knowledge on the topic, I loved what Brene Brown shares in her book Atlas of The Heart, “We need to dispel the myth that empathy is ‘walking in someone else’s shoes. ‘ Rather than walking in your shoes, I need to learn how to listen to the story you tell about what it’s like in your shoes and believe you even when it doesn’t match my experiences.”

    A beautiful example of empathy in leadership is the glue that holds Horizon Point together, Mary Ila. My son was hospitalized a few months back dealing with behavioral challenges. As a first-time parent, no one quite prepares you for checking your 5-year-old in for a psychiatric stay. Much less having to check in through your local ER and trying to entertain them for 3 days while a bed opens up (some parents wait weeks). To say I was overwhelmed was an understatement. However, when it came to my job, it was the last thing that I was concerned about. Mary Ila told me not to worry about a thing and that our team would handle it. She even scheduled time to sit with my child for a few hours on her busy Monday morning. I politely declined her first offer, and she insisted that I go take a shower or anything else that I might need to do. 

    All in all, that experience makes me want to work that much harder for a company that goes above and beyond for its employees. You see, Mary Ila put herself in my position and treated me as a human being rather than a human doing. I felt safe and cared for, and won’t forget to pass that kindness along to the next person walking through their season of suffering. 

    Great, you might say, but what does that look like in a result—driven work environment? Do I need another degree these days to be a mental health professional in order to run a business? How does that help our bottom line? Empathy leads to trust, which leads to better performance, retention, and recruitment. All that is required is the extra effort to listen and understand. 

    So, what if I’m not naturally empathetic? Can I learn it? In fact, you can. One of the best ways to learn is empathy is to have the ability to express it. Your emotional vocabulary list helps with this https://karlamclaren.com/emotional-vocabulary-page/. Want more? Try this exercise from Psychology Today to brush up on your skills:

    1. Think about your significant other or a friend, family member, or coworker.
    2. What has their mood been like recently?
    3. What’s going on in this person’s life that might be making them happy or sad, anxious, or angry?
    4. How are you contributing?
    5. What could you do or say to improve this person’s situation?

    Empathy could very well be one of the necessary ingredients missing from the secret sauce to your overall workplace well-being. 

    Read more at The Point Blog:

    https://horizonpointconsulting.com/blog3/item/show-compassion-save-your-empathy/

    https://horizonpointconsulting.com/blog3/item/leading-through-expectations-and-empathy/

    https://horizonpointconsulting.com/blog3/item/3-questions-for-balancing-empathy-and-expectations-as-a-leader/

  • What Kind of Intelligent Are You?

    What Kind of Intelligent Are You?

    Did you like school growing up? Were you one of the “smart” kids or did you just get by? Were you bored in the classroom or excited to be there?

    How about at work? Are you one of the “smart” ones? 

    When you are training or in a learning setting on the job, do you pick up on concepts quickly or do you find yourself being one of the “slow” ones?  Does the learning engage your attention or leave you questioning why you are doing what you are doing? 

    Whatever category you fall into, I’d challenge you-and maybe more importantly, those teaching and leading- to think about the source of the ease or difficulty.  This may have more to do with how things are being taught and whether they cater to specific types of intelligences rather than whether or not people are “smart”. 

    And in most formal learning environments, we tend to only cater to two of the nine intelligences postulated by Harvard Professor Howard Gardner- linguistic intelligence and logical-mathematical intelligence.  Gardner says of these intelligences, they are “particularly important for learning in the kinds of schools that we have today- ones that feature listening to lectures, reading, writing, and calculating- and they are crucial on those tests that purport to assess human intellect and cognitive potential.” 

    But Gardner says we get it all wrong if we stop here.  Other intelligences that Gardner suggests from his research are: 

    “Noncanonical” Intelligences: 

    • Musical Intelligence: “Facility in the perception and production of music.” 
    • Spatial Intelligence: “The capacity to form spatial representations or images in one’s mind, and to operate upon them variously.”
    • Bodily-Kinesthetic Intelligence: “The capacity to solve problems or create products using your whole body, or parts of your body like your hand or your mouth.” 
    • Naturalist Intelligence: “Entails the capacities to make consequential discriminations in the natural world.” 

    Personal Intelligences: “Knowing Human Beings”

    • Knowing Oneself: Self-Awareness
    • Knowing Others

    Existential Intelligence: “Religious” or “Spiritual” intelligence

    I’d venture to guess that as you read this list, there are one or more where you feel like you excel.  Is it recognized in your workplace?  Does learning content cater to your style? 

    If you are a leader or trainer/facilitator, I’d encourage you to examine your learning opportunities at work to see if you are reaching everyone in your audience with their particular intelligence so you can capitalize on all people’s “smarts”. 

    Some ideas for doing so: 

    • Incorporate games and puzzles 
    • Incorporate music 
    • Incorporate outdoor activity and/or break up content where breaks in learning require participants to move around and go outside if possible
    • Provide things to “fidget” with
    • Get people to draw in order to convey thoughts and learning- to visualize concepts
    • Have people interact with others regularly- through questions, role play, case studies, etc.
    • Provide questions for self-reflection and thought and the time to do this
    • Get people to teach what they have learned to others- creating and incorporating their own ideas for conveying concepts
    • Give tools for people to practice and apply learning on the job and record and report their findings in the format or mode they prefer

    When we begin to realize that all people are “smart”, we can then use that information to make sure we are incorporating a variety of ways to make sure our workplaces allow for the expression of each individual’s unique talents and contributions. 

    What kind of intelligent are you? 

  • FACD

    FACD

    Last week, HPC met with our contacts with the state department of education. The meeting centered around current training, plans for a focus group and specific grades that could potentially be our next area of focus. In reflection, we have worked in partnership with them for more than 10 years. What began as a grant funded training project grew into a wonderful partnership that has allowed us to provide professional development with educators across our state year after year. Currently, we are training 100+ educators on career development and providing state and program specific resources. 

    Here are the benefits I’ve seen from this partnership that continues to develop professionals who are literally preparing our future workforce.

    1. Teachers, counselors, administrators, and career coaches learn from one another, sharing resources that are most helpful in their area(s).
    2. Training content is being soaked up and is finding its way into lesson plans, field trips, and career days.
    3. Collaboration flourishes as participants have the opportunity to create a group within their cohort to work on an assignment about an in-demand career. The assignment ultimately becomes a resource library of presentations that anyone in the training can access.
    4. Completers of the course seek credentials and have the opportunity to receive continued education on topics most relevant for them and the students they serve.

    Do you have a need for training or professional development in your school or organization? If so, let us know and I’m sure we can help or point you in the right direction!