DWYSYWD- Lessons from the Elementary School Guidance Counselor

One of the first things we teach in our personal leadership course is the concept of DWYSYWD- Do What You Say You Will Do.   It involves committing to what you can do, or as Covey would put it, committing to your circle of influence and focusing on being accountable with what you can do instead of worrying about things that you cannot do something about.  For example, I cannot do anything about whether or not a stay at home order is extended or relaxed this week in my state, but I can wash my hands, not touch my face,

Our Schedules Communicate Priorities

On a Sunday morning about 7 AM, I was in the middle of a run. It was a quiet, beautiful fall morning until I looped back around and through the sports and water park complex near my house.  Cars started driving by and turning into the parking lot by the tennis center. I could hear an abundance of tennis balls popping off rackets as, what seemed to be, many people warming up. I’ve run by on other Sunday mornings about that time to see what couldn’t be older than five and six-year-olds warming up for soccer matches. The minivans and

How to be Authentic with Your Appreciation at Work

What is your most desired love language- or language of appreciation- at work? The Motivating by Appreciation (MBA) Inventory assessment can help you and your colleagues discern this.  What makes giving and receiving appreciation at work so hard?  Often, it is the simple fact that we’ve been conditioned to follow the golden rule instead of the platinum one. The golden rule says to do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  So in context, if my language of appreciation is quality time, then the way I live the golden rule is to give you quality time because

6 Ways to Help Create Caring Instead of Callous Leaders

I have the opportunity to coach a lot of middle managers. Quite often they are middle-aged men, and I’m working with them because there is some issue with how they lead (or actually don’t lead) others.    Through some type of feedback mechanism, these men are described mildly as “aloof” or “disinterested” (always related to how they are with people, not necessarily the tasks or functions of their job) to more extreme words like “jerk” or “a**hole”.  I’m brought in most of the time to try to fix their “personality”. Making them more caring and a better leader of people is

3 Tips for Leading Well in 2020

I enjoyed the opportunity to hear Karith Foster speak recently.  If you haven’t had an opportunity to check her out, she is well worth it.  She combines humor and storytelling to make simple, but profound points about leading and living well.  In her address, she talked about the ABCs necessary to be a leader in 2020.  A. Ask for help & Ask for what you want.    Asking for help may seem contrary to what leaders should do, but as I heard Brene Brown say in another keynote speech, asking for help is actually the best way to create trust.  As