Author: Mary Ila Ward

  • Birthing Babies and Running Races: Pushing Past Your Breaking Point with Positive Feedback

    Birthing Babies and Running Races: Pushing Past Your Breaking Point with Positive Feedback

    We were excited to be featured as guest blogger on the awesome Fistful of Talent this past weekend. Now, we’re sharing this blog with you! 

    I’m in labor.

    One nurse is holding one foot; another is holding the other. There’s a doctor in-between my legs, and my husband is at my side. (He was instructed under no uncertain circumstances to go below my knees.)

    It’s time to push. I, of course, am drugged with an epidural. They have to tell me when to push because I luckily can’t feel a thing. I don’t know the results of my efforts, whether I’m doing it right or wrong because:

    1) I can’t feel it, and
    2) I can’t see far enough down to know if a baby is coming out as I push.

    I’m getting no internal feedback from my body.

    The nurse to the right starts to give instructions as I push. It goes something like this:

    “Don’t push with your legs.” “Don’t breath like that.” “You’re leaning too far forward.” Real positive and motivating. Thanks, lady. Did I mention I can’t feel a thing? By her feedback, I was never going to get this child out.

    The nurse on the left gives instructions as she watches the progress, or lack thereof, of the baby crowning,“You’re doing great, now push with your bottom.” (Sorry—this may be too graphic, but that is apparently the way you’re supposed to do it and there is no other way to put it.)

    “That’s it, that’s it! Good!”  she says.

    A contraction finishes. She says, “Great, now rest.  You’re doing such a good job. When the next one comes, take a deep breath and do it again. I’ll count to eight while you push, and then you take another deep breath and push again.”

    I tuned out nurse to the right and focused on nurse to my left. The instructions laced with “Don’t” weren’t helping me get the 7 lb. 2 oz. bundle of perfection out, but the positive feedback and specific instructions about how to do it were going to help me have this baby. And it worked.

    The same principle applies to performing other physical feats—It’s not just for baby mamas. In fact, in a recent study How Your Thoughts Affect Your Running Efficiency, posted on Runner’s World, researchers sought to see if “enhancing expectancies” through positive feedback improved running performance. Feedback given was something like this:

    “You’re doing great. Your oxygen consumption is in the top 10th percentile for your age and gender.”

    Nurse-to-my-left type feedback was given, leading to increased running efficiency as indicated by their VO2 Max.

    Want to increase performance that leads to results?  Then my personal labor experience and running research suggests the following to enhance performance:

    1. Give feedback
    2. Give positive feedback (i.e., “You’re doing great!”)
    3. Give instructional feedback that helps direct efforts (i.e., “I’ll count to eight while you push, and then you take another deep breath and push again.”)

    Hopefully, no one is going into labor at the office, but coaching people to optimal results necessitates continuous feedback. And positive feedback is all the better, or least that was the case for me. My body and our baby girl thank the nurse for the positive feedback and the results it achieved.

  • Dream Job

    Dream Job

    After finishing my senior year, I will start the next four years deciding what I want to do for the rest of my life. I will have to consider the economy and job markets when deciding on a major and future career, but I don’t want to neglect what I might be best at doing and what I would enjoy.

    If money and unemployment didn’t matter my choice would be a lot easier. I would rule out any job that has anything to do with blood, makes me work with spreadsheets, or forces me to understand chemistry. With those jobs out of the way I have narrowed down my list of dream jobs to three.

    Here is my Dream Job list:

    1. Antique Hunter- I love the thought of looking through old barns to find hidden gems and learning the history behind them. Then I’d like to have a cute store to sell what I find. I think I have watched Antiques Road Show with my mom one too many times.
    2. House Flipper- I have always had a fascination with old homes. Each one has a unique architecture and layout. I would love to be able to uncover the beauty and potential of homes that have been forgotten.
    3. Full- Time Babysitter- Babysitting is the best job I will ever have. I get to play with the kids and play with their toys that were much cooler than mine ever were. Then when you get tired of it, the parents come home and you get to leave.

    I realize going to college for any of these jobs would be pointless and wasteful. Maybe down the road when the economy is better and I have enough time and money I will peruse the jobs! Trying to balance what the market demands with what my passions may be is a challenge, but I hope that I can find a balance in making sure that what I do in life leads to fulfillment.

    Other helpful blog posts related to this topic:

    A Final Word on Talents and Passions

  • Leaders Kill two Birds with One Stone through Delegation

    Leaders Kill two Birds with One Stone through Delegation

    Leaders constantly face demands on their time, and discerning what to do, how to do it and when can be a challenge. Delegation provides:

    An effective means for managing time wisely and

    An effective way to develop others.

    Leaders make more leaders, and are also good at killing two birds with one stone.

     

    So how to delegate?

     

    Delegation Steps and Levels:

    What needs to be delegated? All your responsibilities should be put in to one of three buckets: 1. Don’t do it- get rid of the task or responsibility 2. Do it yourself. 3. Delegate it. Take time to catalogue all your responsibilities/tasks based on these three categories.

    Pick the right person– Are they competent or can they be trained to do the task/job? Do they need opportunities to develop in certain areas?

    Establish open channels of communication– Ensure that people feel comfortable coming to you with questions when a task or result is delegated to them. Remind them you are always available to answer their questions and act as a sounding board for making decisions related to their responsibilities. Schedule regular feedback sessions if necessary to encourage dialogue.

    Delegate part of the task or activity (gradual delegation). Make sure to communicate the results you want achieved and by when.You may need to give direction of how to perform the task at first or provide training for completing the task/activity effectively.

    Delegate the whole task. Make sure to communicate the results you want achieved and by when and leave the person 100% responsible.

    Delegate the result(s) you want achieved. Instead of telling them what to do and how to do it (ie- delegating the task or activity) tell them what you want to be achieved and by when and get out of their way.

    Delegate authority and responsibility. Put the person in charge and leave it to them to make decisions about what gets done, how and when, leaving them responsible for establishing priorities and results. All you will need to do is establish parameters (such as budget constraints).

    Leave the person alone.

    More thoughts on Delegation:

    2 Tips if you have Bored Employees

  • Lessons from CO-OP

    Lessons from CO-OP

    I was nervous about giving up my time in school to be in the Co-Op program. I wanted to be involved in as many things as I could. I didn’t want to have any regrets. The choice to Co-Op was not easy. I had to give up a few activities like soccer and chorus, but I made the right choice to do Co-Op.

    It was always hard for me to focus in school. I was always pretty much brain dead by 4th block. Now I only have two classes to focus on a day. My grades have improved because I cut out all the extra things that took up my energy. Now I go from about 3 to 5 hours a day, which makes me a lot more motivated.

    In school it is easy to be completely focused on you. If you score badly on a test it doesn’t affect anyone else but you. With a job if I am sloppy or late, if reflects badly on the business. My actions affect more than me. Having already learned that, I can go into my next job with experience and a different mindset than when I first started at the beginning of this year.

    Co-Op gave me independence. I don’t have the school taking care of me for 7 hours a day. I can leave for lunch or run errands; everything is on your own time.

    Co-Op also has helped me narrow down what I want to major in. In my job I am at a desk and also take care of my boss’s child. While both areas have been good for me, I realized that I loved working with children more than handling the business aspects. That helped me decide on my major of Child Life Studies. I now have an idea of what I want to do with my life.

    I haven’t felt like I gave up my senior year experience to be in Co-Op. If anything it has made me appreciate high school and not wish it away.

  • Want to be a millionaire? A Good Leader? Manage Your Time First

    Want to be a millionaire? A Good Leader? Manage Your Time First

    Want to be a good leader? How about a millionaire? Manage yourself and your time first.

    What does it take to think like a millionaire? In reading The Millionaire Mind, I was struck by what seemed to first be a contradiction. Based on the study of almost 1000 millionaires, it was obvious these individuals as a group managed their expenses just as wisely, if not more, than their revenue generation. Most bought at discount retailers and had very small or non-existent mortgages by buying older homes that retained or appreciated in value.

    Keeping costs low is a priority in the millionaire household, except with what the book described as “do it yourself” projects. Most millionaires captured in the study did not cut their own grass and if something broke in their house, they didn’t fix it, they called an expert.

    At first glance, this doesn’t seem like a managing cost approach. However, upon further inspection, it is not a matter of keeping costs down, it is a matter how your time is best spent because time is money. If the cost equation involves devotion of ones time, especially for someone who has learned how to generate revenue (as most millionaires have) through their time, best to outsource those non-essential tasks to someone who can do them more effectively. Which actually saves money.

    What does this have to do with leadership? Maybe leaders could learn a thing or two from the millionaire mindset. One thing I find that is a frequent area for tactical leadership coaching of what is really personal leadership (instead of actually leading others) and that is the issue of time management.  It is difficult to lead and guide the work of others if, as a leader, we have difficulty managing our own work and time.

    We’ve devoted several blog posts over the years to this topic that you can view here:

    Personal Leadership on Purpose

    A New Take on Time Management

    5 Ways to Find Your Productivity Sweet Spot

    Saying ‘No” to Something is Saying ‘Yes” to Something Else

    Schedules Communicate Priorities

    But what can you take from all of these, and what do we work with clients on helping them manage their time better? What does the millionaire mindset teach us? It’s pretty simple:

    • Define Your Purpose see the mission statement and goal setting links in this post.
    • Vet how you spend your time by that purpose. A helpful way to do this is by looking at Covey’s approach- is it urgent/not urgent, important/not important. The goal is to be in the green on this grid- or in Quadrant II by spending your time on tasks that are important, but not yet urgent. It’s simply being proactive. Notice that many of these items in Quadrant II deal with developing others – values clarification, relationship building, empowerment.

    Image source: https://www.franklincovey.com/blog/manage-your-time-and-energy-effectively/

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