Guest blog written by: Kayla Riggs

“What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it’s supposed to be.”

At 32 I was in a place to reevaluate my career, my wants, my life. I am a wife and a mother of two. I have been working in the traditional sense since I was 15. I worked during college, while taking a full course load. I got a job immediately following graduation. I worked up until the day I delivered my babies and took 7 weeks of maternity leave with both. That’s what was expected. I’m a people-pleaser by nature.

I always did what I believed was expected of me. I measured success by a job title and working fulltime. I always chose to work not-for-profit, even if that meant I didn’t make as much as I would in the private sector. I thought that way I’d be making a difference, I’d be giving back somehow. But I always felt there was something missing. Something was never right.

Then suddenly there I was, in a place that made me stop. It was time for me to rediscover myself. It was time for me to be real with myself. What did I want? Did I want to be a stay-at-home mom? Did I want to work part-time? Did I want to find another full-time job? I had no clue. I had already had my “dream job” early in my career but now what was my dream?

My husband has always been supportive, and he told me to do what I felt was right for me. But what was that? I believe sometimes in life we get so caught up in what is expected, in what we believe is how the world measures success that we never decide what we believe is success in our own eyes.

Now, here I am, seven months later, post rediscovery, and I am truly happy. This season in my life I believe success looks like the ability to take my kids to school and to pick them up in the afternoons. It looks like me currently working as an independent contractor. It looks like the ability to also work for a not-for-profit that I believe in because its success impacts my family, indirectly. It looks like me creating a home office. It looks like the ability to attend my children’s school functions. It looks like dinner on the table and not eating out as much. It is the ability to have control of my schedule and say what does and does not work for me or for my family.

Success now looks very different to me and for me. It took me getting real with myself, maybe for the first time in my life. I am finally being authentically me!

Will success look the same five years from now or even this time next year? Right now, I’m not sure. The only thing I do know is that I refuse to be anything but real.

What does success look like to you?

Whatever you measure success by, make sure it is real and it is you!