Last week I had the absolute pleasure of attending NASHRM’S 2024 Spring Workshop supporting my team member Lorrie Coffey. She gave an energizing presentation on Handling Toxicity in the Workplace, complete with getting knocked upside the head with a Horizon Point lightbulb stress ball. So, what does a toxic workplace look like? Let’s open the door and expose toxic workplace cultures.
Lorrie started off by giving the definition of toxic and said that it’s an extremely harsh, malicious or harmful quality. She went on to give examples from social media of people talking about their current workplaces. One employee said, “I’ve literally been berated and to a point, what I could consider verbal abuse” another described their situation by saying that their anxiety was through the roof. So, what creates a toxic environment and causes people to leave?
According to Career Plug, the percentage of employees in 2022 that have experienced a toxic workplace by age group are: 88% (18-34 year olds), 90% (35-44 year olds), and 79% (45 + years old). Notice the fact that 45 and up didn’t have as much experience with a toxic culture or did they? Lorrie pointed out that it could be that most CEO’s are in that age range, and who wants to report that they are experiencing a toxic environment when they are the one in charge?
There are tell-tale signs of a toxic culture including increased negativity, turnover, dysfunction, stress, gossip, and competitiveness. On the other hand, there is a decrease in morale, productivity, attendance, trust, health, and feedback. Who then creates this toxicity?
Why should leadership care? Big picture, it impacts the bottom line. During the middle of the presentation one of the participants asked, but what if the toxic person is a leader? If it the toxic person in question is a leader, you have tools to use:
We subscribe to the newsletter from Appreciation at WorkTM and got one of the first announcements of the new, post-COVID research on professional appreciation. Right away, I asked the team if we could do a blog about it. New research!? Yes! Here’s the blurb we got:
Appreciation at Work has done peer-reviewed research and polling through and post-COVID. The result of this research is a completely new chapter on how to effectively show appreciation to remote and hybrid employees including topics such as:
the variety of remote work relationships
trust in remote work relationships
creating and maintaining a workplace culture
the employer/supervisor perspective
the employee perspective
the key to keeping remote employees
what neuroscience is showing
This edition also includes updated research (50+ citations) of data shared about the importance of appreciation and its positive impact on the functioning of businesses & organizations (including increased productivity and higher profitability when your employees feel appreciated.
I read it, loved it, laughed, cringed, and mostly just appreciated for the millionth time that Gary Chapman & Paul White adapted the Love Languages for professional relationships. They present their research on appreciation at work in a relatable, real life way. Here are some of my favorite quotes, classic and new:
“During the Great Resignation of 2022, researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology found that employees were three times more likely to resign due to a lack of appreciation in comparison to financial compensation issues.”
“When leaders actively pursue teaching their team members how to communicate authentic appreciation in the ways desired by the recipients, the whole work culture improves. Interestingly, even managers and supervisors report they enjoy their work more. All of us thrive in an atmosphere of appreciation.”
“74% of employees never or rarely express gratitude to their boss.” (Reminder that appreciation is important up, down, and sideways!)
“There is a distinct difference between the Quality Time employees desire from their supervisor and what they value from co-workers. In response to this issue, we expanded the Motivating by Appreciation Inventory to allow individuals to indicate what actions they desire and from whom they want them.”
Acts of Service are about the other person, not about you. “Ask before you help. Don’t assume you know what help they want or need. If you are going to help, do it their way.”
“Our research with over 375,000 employees found that Tangible Gifts is the least chosen language of appreciation.” So if you’re going to do it, it’s important to give gifts “primarily to those individuals who appreciate them” and “give a gift the person values”. (Lorrie wrote about HPC’s take on gifts in “A Few of Our Favorite Things”.)
“The surest way to find out the appropriateness of Physical Touch is simply to inquire.” Many people appreciate a good high five, fist bump, or handshake to celebrate a job well done. Just check with them first, and don’t hold it against them if they prefer not to touch.
Chapman & White also devote an entire chapter to the ROI of genuine appreciation. Take a look at these charts from the book:
Regarding remote and hybrid teams, Chapman & White basically say the needs are the same as fully in-person teams, but the intensity of certain needs are different. Here’s a snippet from the chapter on remote teams:
“In one study, prior to COVID-19, with almost 90,000 individuals who had taken our online assessment…we found that Words of Affirmation was the most desired appreciation language, followed by Quality Time and Acts of Service. But remote employees chose Quality Time as their primary language of appreciation more frequently (35% of employees) than workers on site (25%). The same pattern was found with employees both during the pandemic and afterwards.”
They go on to say, “…the single most important lesson we learned for effectively communicating appreciation to remote colleagues is that one must be more proactive than in face-to-face relationships. The most important factor is to understand, affirm, and relate to your colleagues as people.”
If you saw our new team video highlighting our operating values, or if you’re a longtime HPC friend, you know that People First is our number one value. We are all just people, with the same ups and downs, and the same desire to be loved, appreciated, and valued. If we were to sum up the 5 languages book(s) in the simplest terms, we’d say Be People First. Be people first toward yourselves, and be people first towards others.
If we remember to be People First, we just might get better at genuine appreciation all on our own.
For individuals or teams interested in learning more about The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace, we highly suggest starting with the MBA InventoryTM, then reading the book (or listening to the audiobook). If you purchase the book, it comes with an access code to take the inventory. If you’d like to jump straight to the inventory, you can buy a single access code or codes for your entire team here. (I feel like it’s important for me to say that we’re not being paid to promote any of this, we just really like it.)
Her name was Ima, Ima Fish. She was a Betta that I got when my son was four months old and I decided being a stay-at-home mom wasn’t for me. So, when my old boss called me and asked me if I wanted to come back part-time, I jumped at the chance. I bought Ima to put on my desk at the office. I had that little fish on that desk for five years! And everyone in the office knew Ima. If I was out of the office, I knew someone else was taking care of it, I didn’t even have to ask. Coworkers would stop by my desk daily to see how Ima was, even before they’d check to see how I was. Ima became the office fish.
Employees spend a large portion of their time at work, away from their families. Coworkers often become a second family. So how can employers create a work space that helps to bring people together?
It starts at the top. Leadership can help create an environment that brings people together by making connections with those who work for them. Get to know your employees, what makes them tick outside of work. Do they have families? What are their hobbies? Where do they see themselves in the future? When you check in with employees, don’t jump straight into work, ask them how their weekend was, if they have plans for the holidays, just take a few minutes to chat and get to know more about them. By doing this, you not only build a better connection with your team members but you are encouraging them to do the same with each other.
A lot of work and a little play. Allow for some down time at work. You’d be surprised at how that may actually improve productivity and it will definitely boost morale. Early in my career I worked for a company that had an office breakfast EVERY Friday. And it was employee provided. There was a sign-up sheet each quarter for those who wanted to participate and a schedule was made of what Friday you had to provide breakfast. It was great, people loved to participate and every Friday the entire office of about 50 employees came through the breakroom to grab breakfast. You could bring whatever you wanted and there was always an abundance of food. Good food! We even had one employee who when it was his turn, would bring his griddle from home and make made-to-order breakfast sandwiches. And while you were waiting on your sandwich, you’d get to have the best conversations with him.
Create welcoming spaces for connection and collaboration. One of the worst feelings for me is walking into a sterile work space, devoid of color, personalization, and warmth. It’s not inviting. Create spaces where employees want to be, that inspires them. A little décor can go a long way. And it doesn’t have to be expensive. Add a few pictures, some fake or real plants, some color. Take that bright white break room and turn it into a space employees want to sit and enjoy lunch or a quick break. A little paint can go a long way to making a space more welcoming, so get rid of that bright white! And while you’re at it, take away the clutter too. It creates stress and don’t we all have enough of that these days?
What can you do to make your work space bring people together?
We are thrilled to be hosting the July Leadership Development Carnival. We participate monthly and find it is always filled with great insight for leaders to read and share.
As a leader, how intentional are you about creating psychological safety for your team? Check out these tips from the experts to help you build rapport and increase communication with your team. — Jennifer Miller (@JenniferVMiller)
Conflict itself is born from a perspective that we must make either-or decisions; that we can’t have more than one option; that two different things cannot co-exist. In these situations, the result is generally less favorable than if the parties explored & solutions. Focusing on & requires a commitment to exploring mutually beneficial results, not necessarily the same results. — Priscilla Archangel (@PrisArchangel)
As someone who works in a team or leads a team, you have probably heard that gossip is always negative. It should be avoided at all costs… Gossip is defined by the Oxford dictionary as “Casual or unconstrained conversation about other people.” And Dave Ramsey, a welll-known financial expert, has been outspoken about the “No-Gossip” policy for his people at Entreleadership – for them it has been a significant part of defining their culture. However, there is recent research that has shown gossip can actually have positive effects on team morale, culture, and performance. — Sean Glaze (@leadyourteam)
There are many opportunities for leaders to engage employees in meaningful two-way communication. Mastering it helps build a stronger company culture, among many other benefits. Explore these tips and methods known to be effective. — David Grossman (@ThoughtPartner)
We often pride ourselves on knowing what people think without fully listening. Overcoming this habit is critical to good communication and creating better relationships. — Marcia Reynolds (@marciareynolds)
Are conflicts resolved or managed? Conflict resolution means that a conflict is solved, settled, or finalized. While managing conflict means that the conflict is mediated, handled, and coped with: in short, there is an agreement to disagree yet move forward together on areas in common. Read on to learn how to manage conflicts to success. — Diana Peterson-More (@DianaPMAuthor)
Each day offers us a chance to make a difference, to shape the future, and to inspire greatness in others. Let us seize this opportunity with passion, purpose, and unwavering dedication. — Brenda Yoho (@BrendaYoho)
What if your organizational culture was nonviolent and compassionate? You and your performance would thrive. And so would the company. Here’s inspiration from the research. A nonviolent, compassionate culture helps to build a better world. — Marcella Bremer (@MarcellaBremer)
One of the skills an experienced big mountain backcountry skier practices is testing the snowpack for avalanche risk. “I think it looks good,” won’t cut it. We have to pull out the shovel and test the pack to ensure we can venture down in a safe way. Otherwise, we risk life-threatening conditions and danger. “Where’d he go?”
It’s similar when it comes to your business. You can glide along thinking “I think it looks good,” but without regular testing and evaluating of the conditions, you can end up in an avalanche of trouble.— Jon Verbeck (@jonverbeck1)
Discover the transformative power of courageous leadership. Dive into the essence of courage, embrace vulnerability, and challenge the status quo. Discover practical strategies to inspire others and drive extraordinary results. — Bill Treasurer (@btreasurer)
In this article, Art Petty provides advice for professionals who are feeling stuck in their current careers and are looking to make a pivot. He offers tips on how to identify your interests and skills, research new career paths, and create a plan for your transition. — Art Petty (@artpetty)
Leaders often have good intentions when they try to help their employees develop their careers. However, sometimes their well-meaning actions can actually have the opposite effect. This article explores some of the ways that leaders can unwittingly thwart career development, and offers advice on how to avoid these pitfalls. – Julie Winkle Giulioni (@Julie_WG)
The truth is that some companies are laying off, some are ramping up hiring and some are doing both. Those that have downsized in the face of economic stress need to “backfill” with qualified internal candidates. Those that are financially healthy or on a growth path, will be looking to “buy” qualified talent from the outside. And recent data suggests that more and more companies are looking to “borrow” qualified talent from the growing independent consultant pool. But whether they are backfilling, buying or borrowing talent, they are all facing the same challenge — finding the most qualified candidates. And how do they do that? My client experiences suggest that they too often use what I call “faulty filters.” — Bev Kaye (@BeverlyLKaye)
Leaders who are self-aware and honest about their weaknesses, challenges, and mistakes are less likely to behave in small-minded ways. That’s because they don’t waste time defending their egos and need to be right. — Ken Byler
In the post-pandemic world of attracting top candidates, companies are finding that decent salaries and competitive benefits are not enough. Company values are increasingly important to job seekers. — S. Chris Edmonds (@schrisedmonds)
Using a customer’s name is a simple yet powerful way to improve their experience with your business. It’s an effective way to make them feel valued and acknowledged, which can lead to increased loyalty and customer satisfaction.
When a customer hears their name, it creates a sense of familiarity and personalization. It makes them feel like they’re more than just another faceless customer, and that you appreciate their business. By using the power of a customer’s name, you can also build rapport and establish a connection, which can lead to better communication and understanding between the customer and your team. — Steve DiGioia (@stevedigioia)
One of the heartbreaking findings in the World Workplace Conflict and Collaboration Survey was the number of people who said if they were faced with this workplace conflict again, they would quit, or quit sooner. Here are a few powerful questions to help you decide. — Karin Hurt & David Dye (@letsgrowleaders)
Thank goodness it didn’t take long for me to shift my perspective and see the way that my Horizon Point Team members valued connection as much as I did. According to Gallup analysis, “it finds that engagement has 3.8x as much influence on employee stress as work location.” — Emily Addison (@emaaddisonhpc)
Leaders seeking greater equity in the workplace need to understand the broader implications of the pay gap for women and under-represented leaders more broadly. Unequal pay leads to more than short term disadvantage for the employee and their family, but a lifelong financial deficit, which can become a generational burden. — Dana Theus (@DanaTheus)
It’s much easier to measure the effectiveness of leaders by looking at their quantifiable deliverables—monthly sales targets, net promoter scores, business objectives met, on-time deadlines, projects completed. While those are all critical, truly exceptional leaders also perform at high levels with skills that aren’t directly tied to tangible outcomes. This article covers some additional measuring sticks for evaluating your true impact and worthiness as a leader. — Sara Canaday (@saracanaday)
Most managers are one-trick ponies, meaning they default to using a single leadership style in all situations. Randy Conley shares how flexing your leadership style to match the situation builds trust and positive relationships with your people. — Randy Conley (@RandyConley)
Lisa Kohn of Thoughtful Leaders Blog presents The beauty of going slow to go fast – and how to do it where she shares that while it may seem counterintuitive to slow down and take pauses when your to do list seems to have a mind of its own and overwhelm is a constant state, it’s often exactly what we need. It’s not always an easy shift. But it is possible. — Lisa Kohn (@ThoughtfulLdrs)
Thanks for joining us for this month’s Leadership Development Carnival. We hope that you enjoyed it!
I’ve been experimenting with the Ink and Volt One On One Pad to help me organize my thoughts. I organize around these 4 four pillars:
Current work
Future work (business development and proposals out)
Short and long term development priorities for the person I’m meeting with
Personal needs/support
I use our Insightly software to refresh my memory on what everyone has going on with the first two (the software calls these “Projects” and “Opportunities”) before the meeting. I record these things on the Ink and Volt pad. I also take a look at each person’s task list in Insightly before the meeting. Doing this always makes me keenly aware of how on top of it everyone on our team is. They are always juggling multiple priorities to meet multiple current and future client needs by living two of our other values- Passion and Productivity.
Usually, the person I’m meeting with that is driving hits all of these pillars without me having to. If they don’t, I circle back around to things I have on my list once they are finished with theirs. Sometimes the meetings are more focused on one of these things more than the others, but I always try to hit all of them. Some people gravitate towards needing to talk about one pillar over another and it is my job as a leader to make sure I follow their lead on the needs they have.
One-on-ones should lead to a greater team dynamic. We used to spend way too much time in our whole team quarterly planning meetings talking through current projects. Invariably, one or two team members were focused on the project but the others weren’t. We were wasting other people’s time talking through every project and every proposal as a team. While it’s valuable for everyone to understand each other’s work load, spending thirty minutes of a half-day team meeting on one project in which only part of your team is involved is a waste of time and effort. Therefore, we have made sure that when a quarterly meeting is coming up, we have one-on-ones the week before if possible. Needs that involve the whole team come up during the one-on-ones and then can be discussed at the whole team meeting where collaboration needs to take place.
Finally, one-on-ones should focus on open feedback and communication. If tough issues aren’t coming up from time to time (both personal and professional) in these meetings, then something isn’t being done right. One-on-ones should be a place where psychological safety is being demonstrated- both ways. If all conversations in one-on-ones are surface level and tactical, then no one is growing.
We also spend one or two one-on-one meetings a year facilitating our Leaders as Career Agents process which dives deeper into development priorities, and at times, we schedule a longer meeting if we need to take a deep dive into a specific project, proposal, or issue.
How do you make your one-on-one meetings the best they can be?
