Horizon Point Consulting

Author: Lorrie Coffey

  • Hearing vs. Understanding: The Art of Active Listening

    Hearing vs. Understanding: The Art of Active Listening

    One of my favorite active listening quotes comes from Stephen Covey, the author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, is: “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” The art of active listening isn’t easy, but it’s important.

    Last night my husband came home from work and walked through the door with that look on his face. The one that leaves no question about what kind of day he had and makes me wonder if I should even brave asking.

    I took a deep breath and dove in.

    He proceeded to tell me about an issue he’s having at work and how the meeting he and his boss had to address the issues went completely sideways. The person they met with kept interrupting them and disputing everything they said. In the end, the meeting accomplished nothing but to further increase the stress on all parties.

    I’m a listener. I much prefer to sit back and watch everyone around me and listen to what they say. But the art of active listening is in the details. To really listen, or be an active listener, requires so much more than just hearing the words. There are five stages to active listening:

    • Receiving or hearing the message being delivered
    • Understanding or learning from what was said
    • Remembering or retaining the information provided to you
    • Evaluating or judging the content of the message received
    • Responding or providing feedback to the deliverer of that message

    My husband knows when he brings up work issues that I go into HR mode. So after a long talk and lots of questions from me, he began to realize that the meeting failed not just because the other person refused to listen, but so did he. While he heard the concerns they presented, he failed to understand what they were saying. He simply responded back with his own concerns, not evaluating and taking into account the information they had attempted to provide him.

    Some of my recommendations to him included:

    • Know when to engage in conversation: The meeting was held when tempers were still flaring. None of them walked into the meeting with the intent of listening, only with the intent of speaking.
    • Don’t interrupt the speaker: You can’t receive, understand, and evaluate the message if you don’t let them deliver the entire message.
    • Focus on the message, not the sender: By going into the meeting frustrated, my husband engaged in bias by not giving the message the attention it deserved because he was unhappy with the person delivering that message.
    • Know when you need help: One of my suggestions to my husband was that it could have been beneficial to all involved if they had asked a neutral third party to attend the meeting and help mediate it.

    I often fail at my own advice, especially where my boys are concerned. So this year I have committed to being a more active listener with them, to give my time to them and not just hear what they say, but understand it. The art of active listening is like any art; we have to practice it to hone it.

    How can you commit to being an active listener this year?

    The Practice of Listening is one of the 5 things we believe can lead to living an authentic life. Want to read more about living authentically?

    2018 Is the Year of Authenticity 

    The Essence of Authenticity

    4 Ways to Listen to Yourself 

  • The Unattainable Work-Life Balance

    The Unattainable Work-Life Balance

    Is our elusive hunt for a work-life balance causing us undue stress in our lives and the lives of those around us?

    Generation X introduced the philosophy of the work-life balance in the 1970’s, and organizations and employees alike have spent the last few decades searching for that balance. But can anyone say they’ve found it?

    The major flaw with the work-life balance philosophy is that it’s based on the premise that your work self and your life self are two separate entities and to achieve balance, you must maintain that separation and seek a level of equality between the two.

    A study published in 2015 by the Harvard Business School and Stanford University showed that workplace stress can be just as harmful as second-hand smoke. If we’re bringing that stress home, imagine the impact it must have on our families.

    It took my thirteen-year-old son’s insight to show me that the struggle to achieve a work-life balance doesn’t just affect those trying to achieve it, it also affects everyone around them. About a year after moving to Huntsville from Northern Virginia I asked him if he was glad we moved. He told me that he was glad we moved and that his friends here were very different than his friends in Virginia. He explained how his friends here are more laid back, he could be more open with them without fear of them judging him, and how his friends from Northern Virginia were much more rigid and easily offended. His response both shocked me and made me realize just how much of an impact living in the rat race of the D.C. area had on my children.

    As the Indian Yogi and Poet Sadhguru said “There is no such thing as work-life balance- it is all life. The balance has to be within you.”

    The reality is that our work self and life self are two parts of the same whole and can never be fully separated. The Millennials have figured this out and taken the work-life balance philosophy and given it an overhaul. They have introduced us to the work-life integration philosophy. The work-life integration philosophy is a more synergistic approach, in which we must learn to blend our work self and life self into one cohesive unit.

    Many organizations are starting to buy into this concept and provide benefits to help employees integrate their work-life selves.

    • Evernote, a software company, provides their 250+ full-time employees with bi-weekly housecleaning services free of charge, $1000 annual vacation stipends, and a baby bonding program that provides an additional six weeks of paid leave.
    • SC Johnson & Son provides employees with concierge services, on-site childcare, flexible work hours & compressed work weeks.
    • Google provides on-site physicians, free lunches, massages, car washes, up to 12 weeks of paid leave, as well as $500 in “Baby Bonding Bucks” for new parents.

    While these examples are from larger companies, there are benefits that smaller employers can offer as well. I currently work with a client that offers their employees PTO hours in addition to vacation time. These hours are to be used for things such as doctor’s appointments, hair appointments, and parent-teacher conferences. They also provide a car wash service that comes onsite and employees can pay to have their car washed while they work.

    What benefits can your organization offer employees to help them achieve a work-life integration and reduce stress?

  • Creating Community in Your Organization

    Creating Community in Your Organization

    Shortly after the Charlottesville riots, I read an article about how the University of Virginia was responding to ensure that they continue to strive to be a diverse community that welcomes all in a safe environment. And it made me think, how can employers do the same?

    Many employers have diversity and inclusion programs, but are those programs truly successful? The recently publicized anti-diversity manifesto by, a now terminated Google employee, is a severe example of a diversity and inclusion program that may need revamping. I’d be curious to know if that manifesto has prompted Google to review their program.

    Bersin by Deloitte conducted a two-year research study published by Forbes.com in 2015 that showed “Companies that embrace diversity and inclusion in all aspects of their business statistically outperform their peers.” Their research shows that a truly successful diversity and inclusion program has an impact far beyond the HR aspect, it impacts the business as a whole.

    According to the study, those companies that emphasized leadership and inclusion in their talent strategy, were rated as exceptional organizations. Those companies, compared to the others in the study showed:

    • 3 times higher cash flow per employee over a three-year period
    • 8 times more likely to be able to coach people for improved performance, 3.6 times more able to deal with personnel performance problems, and 2.9 times more likely to identify and build leaders

    The study further showed that the two areas that had the greatest impact on business performance were the areas that focused on diversity and inclusion. Organizations that had successful programs saw the highest impact on their business performance.

    I once hired a speaker who specialized in diversity and inclusion training to speak at an organization where diversity and inclusion was a problem, and one simple thing he said has stuck with me. Diversity and inclusion is so much more than planning company potlucks and sticking everyone in the same room.

    Now is a great time to review your diversity and inclusion program. Does your organization strive to be a diverse community that welcomes all in a safe environment?

    To read the full Bersin by Deloitte study, click here.

    https://www.forbes.com/sites/joshbersin/2015/12/06/why-diversity-and-inclusion-will-be-a-top-priority-for-2016/#1fc15c572ed5

    Like this post? If you might also enjoy:

    Diversity and Inclusion in My Eyes and in the Eyes of My Children

    You can hire for fit AND diversity: How the most innovative companies hire

  • Harnessing the Entrepreneurial Spirit of the Millennial Generation

    Harnessing the Entrepreneurial Spirit of the Millennial Generation

    I’ve heard millennials called many things. Lazy. Entitled. Spoiled.

    Then I came across an article on Today.com that reminded me millennials aren’t the first generation to be labeled negatively. Writer Tom Wolfe dubbed the Baby Boomers as the “Me Decade” in his article The “Me” Decade and the Third Great Awakening. Paul Begala referred to Boomers in Esquire magazine as “the most self-centered, self-seeking, self-interested, self-absorbed, self-indulgent, self-aggrandizing generation in American history.”

    Gen Xers were also the targets of such negative monikers. I still have a letter to the editor that graced my local paper my senior year of high school from a “concerned citizen” that dubbed my generation as “functional illiterates”. And yet many of us Gen Xers are successful. We are well respected leaders. We are innovators in our fields.

    So, I asked myself if what is said about millennials is really true and I did a little research.

    A 2014 study by Forbes Magazine showed that of the 80% of millennials who owned a smartphone, 87% checked their work email after hours on a regular basis and 37% always did. That same study showed that while only 13% aspire to climb the corporate ladder, 67% hope to start their own company.

    That doesn’t sound lazy to me. It sounds like dedication, and it sounds like they have goals. Those goals are just different than those of the generations before them.

    Unlike the generations before them, they are not content to work the nine to five, put in a day’s work, and leave it at the door when the whistle blows. They don’t believe in a work-life balance, they believe in a work-life integration. And achieving that work-life integration means having to think outside of the box. Sometimes, way outside of the box!

    The Forbes article called millennials the True Entrepreneur generation. But while 67% aspire to start their own business, a 2014 report by the Small Business Administration’s Office of Advocacy shows that only two percent of millennials, compared to 7.6 percent of Gen Xers, and 8.3 percent of Boomers have actually started their own companies. Why? In part due to their lack of experience in the workforce and lack of business acumen. But also in part due to those pesky student loans that followed them out of college, and those loans often keep them from being able to gain the startup capital needed to get a business off the ground.

    The plight of the millennial generation is something companies should take advantage of and view as a potential asset. There is an entire group of young, eager to learn individuals out there just waiting to find the right opportunity. They are an often-untapped recruiting market for organizations. Yes, their ultimate goal now might be to own their own company down the road. But goals change. I know mine did. If you can get them in the door, give them a great opportunity, you might just show them the benefits your organization can offer them long-term.

    They want to be a part of an organization where they can truly make a difference, be a part of the bigger picture, and soak up as much knowledge as quickly as they can.

    If organizations can harness the energy that millennials have it can be a win-win. Remember that millennials are driven by purpose and want social connection. I found it interesting that according to an article on Time.com, 51% of millennials still want face-to-face interaction over other forms of communication. But they want that interaction to be meaningful, not just wasted time.

    Find a way for your organization to benefit from the entrepreneurial spirit of millennials and you may find them to be some of the greatest contributors to your organization.

    What is your organization doing to tap into the millennial market and harness their entrepreneurial spirit?

    Like this post? You may also like:

    Tiny Homes, RVS and Millennials- What this all means to your employee benefit and engagement strategy

    Is the role of the millennial male changing the way they lead at work?

    Millennials – Seekers of a Professional Development Fix

  • 3 Ways to Make your Workplace Harassment Training Successful

    3 Ways to Make your Workplace Harassment Training Successful

    I recently attended an HR luncheon where a good question was raised. How can HR ensure that leadership understands the importance of and supports anti-harassment policies?

    Many organizations focus their anti-harassment efforts on minimizing legal liability and not on minimizing inappropriate behavior within their organization. Their training consists of annual anti-harassment training, usually in the form of a bland training video that most employees sit through, but don’t pay attention to. In order for an anti-harassment training program to be effective, it must focus on minimizing the behavior and should include a few key components:

    • The training must be relevant- Just because it’s a serious topic doesn’t mean it must be a boring topic. Make the training interactive and interesting. I briefly worked as a sexual harassment trainer for a company that designed their training in the form of a game (think Jeopardy). It kept the participants engaged, made them think, and they enjoyed the training. Think of ways to keep your audience actively engaged. The more engaged you can keep them, the more information they will take away from the training.
    • Don’t just check the box- many organizations conduct annual training just to mark it off their To Do List. Harassment training should be a year-round endeavor. In addition to your annual mandatory training, schedule quarterly events, whether those are trainings, brown bag lunches with speakers, articles in the company newsletter, or some other form of communication. Provide training to your leadership on their roles and responsibilities. Make sure they understand the importance of taking claims seriously and involving HR in those investigations. Make sure they understand the policy and how to enforce it. Consider having an employment attorney come and speak with leadership. Do they know that not only can the organization be named in a lawsuit, but individuals can be named as well in some cases?
    • Back up what you say- review your anti-harassment policy. Make sure it is well written and details confidentiality (to the extent possible), your investigation process, and disciplinary process. Also review your policy on anti-retaliation. You want your employees to know that if they come to you with a claim, they can do so without fear of retaliation, but also that if they make false claims, there will be consequences for that. But remember, your policy means nothing if you don’t back it up with actions. If you have an employee file a claim, follow through with an investigation and appropriate action. If you don’t, your organization will quickly get a reputation for not taking such claims seriously. And make sure your leadership and your employees know these policies. Be sure you’re reviewing them during new hire orientations and touch on them again during your annual training.

    Managing harassment claims is never easy. Often times managers minimize the seriousness of claims or ignore claims altogether because they don’t know how to handle claims, they are uncomfortable handling claims, or they themselves don’t see the actions as a serious problem. Developing a strong partnership with your leadership team is key to successfully handling harassment claims and ensuring that your organization is able to minimize inappropriate workplace behaviors. And as always, be sure that all claims and investigations of harassment are well documented.

    How successful is your organization’s anti-harassment program?