Horizon Point Consulting

Category: Personal Development

We all need a little personal development mixed in with our professional and career development. Read blogs in this category for stories and best practices for personal wellness and wellbeing, skills improvement, and more.

Grown men in tank tops usually aren’t my jam, but… can they teach us something about leading?
Grown men in tank tops usually aren’t my jam.

So when Pat McAfee made his appearance on Gameday this year to replace a former Georgia football player that looked really good in a suit (more my jam), I was like what the heck?

I watched him for a minute, determined he was there to sensationalize, pull in a different type of audience, and create some new dynamic I wasn’t into. I thought I’d lost a little bit of respect for the Saturday morning football institution, even if Corso is still there picking his favorite team, glorified mascot head and all.

But my husband keeps showing me clips of McAfee’s show. (To note, tank tops aren’t my husband’s jam either. He’s even more buttoned up than I am when it comes to stuff like that.)

“You’ve got to watch this,” he’s said at least three times to me in the past two weeks. Usually when he says this, it is because he’s watched it and he knows I am going to take some organizational psychology/leadership lessons from it and run with it.

As I’ve watched, the popular host isn’t really sensationalizing anything- unless you take into account his frequent foul language- which is also, you guessed it, not my jam. He’s teaching leadership and organizational psychology 101. Lessons I try to teach myself and others each day. Like:
- “Take care of your people.” Pay people what they are worth. You trying to short change everyone around you only leads to you short changing yourself.
- Stand up for what you believe in and don’t back down when people criticize you for it. Ignore the outside “noise” both the good and the bad.
- “Humility drives you to success.”
- You have to customize your leadership to the people you are leading.
- Humor helps. Deploy it often.
- Surround yourself with the GOATs of the world and listen to them. Learn from them. As I’ve watched and not just listened to the show, you see how attuned McAfee is to listening to his guests. He’s not silently interrupting- trying to think about what he is going to say next while someone else is talking- and he’s not literally interrupting either. He’s sitting there with his ears and mind on and he’s soaking it all in.
If you want to listen to the episodes that my husband keeps putting in front of me, here is the two most recent examples:

Pat McAfee Responds To Report He pays Aaron Rodgers “Millions” for Weekly Interviews

Coach Saban Talks Punishment vs Discipline, How He Motivates His Team

Thanks to my husband and Pat McAfee, I’m learning that it’s not wise to judge a book by its cover. Leadership 101.
October 17, 2023
Mom, I’m Bored
“Mom, I’m bored,” said one kid from the backseat after we told them NO MORE DEVICES on a road trip to kick off the summer.

You see, devices for them create the stimulation that makes them, well, crazy.

So after allowing them on the first leg of the trip without any constraints, we put a cease and desist order out on all devices and prayed we wouldn’t all kill each other over the course of the next hundreds of miles.

Our trip began with a desire for our kids to see all 50 states before our oldest leaves for college in six years. With this in mind, I had the grand idea to create books where they could write and draw about what they wanted to see, what they did see, and what they liked and didn’t like about each place we visited throughout the years.

With devices in hand, these books sat empty.

After the electronics were taken away and after a few “I’m bored” whines came from the backseat, the books came out.

And what was inside them was nothing short of creativity on full display.

Our oldest is into shoes now and he started drawing them.

Our middle created fun facts and drawings about each state we visited, and then created drawings where she narrated the story line she had also created about the images. Apparently, limes can be our friends.

Our youngest drew what only he knew them to be, but then told us, “This one is a flower, this one is a roller coaster. Mommy, can you draw me an alligator?”

And so I got in on the creative process and drew just that.

As we’ve focused on creating space all year at Horizon Point, the point that space is absolutely needed to innovate and create has been a key theme.

But first, before we can have the space to create and innovate, we probably need to create some space to be bored.

In fact, research supports just this. Boredom is the spark that creates the flame.

To facilitate some boredom that leads to your mind seeking something that leads it to create and innovate perhaps we all should:
1. Don’t Look Down. Put a cease and desist order on your devices. All of them.
2. Get away. Get somewhere you aren’t normally. See the novel. Take a road trip.
3. Look Up. Pay attention to your surroundings.
4. Capture. Have something that can capture your creativity once you get bored, like our kids “diaries” as the little one calls his.
5. Collaborate. Maybe you might be drawn to draw a little something out of the norm like my alligator.
Turns out boredom also may help get the crazies out. It’s good for our mental health too. Our kids were much less on edge once we swapped the devices for the space to create.

How comfortable are you with being bored?

More on this topic:

The Creative Benefits of Boredom from HBR
June 6, 2023
6 Tips to Help You Unplug for Your Vacation
With 4^th of July being the unspoken week of summer vacations, it’s time to consider- does anyone every really truly go on vacation now days? By a true vacation I mean no work is done. None. No emails, no voicemails, no finishing up a project, starting a project or even thinking (and therefore procrastinating) on a project.

In a world of constant connectedness, I’d venture to guess most people don’t actually unplug completely from their work. According this article, more than half of Americans plan to work while on vacation.

But if you are headed on vacation or on vacation now (wait, does reading this count post as “working”?) here are some tips for unplugging while on there:
1. Get your stuff done before you leave. Practice productivity before going which will eliminate the need to work while away.
2. Schedule time when you get back to catch-up. Block your calendar for a day or two after you return with no meetings or scheduled activities to eliminate the pressure of having to get through 987 emails when you return with no time to do it. Post-vacation laundry can be a beast. Don’t forget to schedule time to catch up on the household items that need to be attended to as well after returning from vacation.
3. Eliminate the temptation to check in with work. Don’t take your computer with you, go where there is no internet connection (is there such a place now?) and if you have a phone dedicated just to work, leave it at home.
4. Set clear expectations with colleagues/clients before departing. Tell them how long you’ll be away and establish that you will not be checking in via email, phone or text. Ask that they respect your vacation time and reciprocate by respecting theirs. Set up automated out of the office responses with a date of when you will be able to get back in touch. Date it at least one day after you return.
5. Take for pleasure reading with you and schedule for pleasure activities. Take that novel you’ve been dying to read (or movie you’ve been waiting to watch) or that cooking magazine you’ve been trying to look at for the past three months and haven’t ever gotten to. Book the massage you’ve been wanting. By taking time for pleasure reading and scheduling for pleasure activities, you’ll eliminate the desire to turn to business reading and/or checking emails. You simply won’t have the time or desire to do it when you are enjoying something else.
6. Realize that vacations are more often than not a time connect and build relationships with those closest to you. Most of us don’t take our vacations solo. If you are venturing out on a vacation this week, more than likely family member(s) or close friend(s) will be with you. Vacations are a time to rejuvenate as individuals, but also a time to rejuvenate the relationships that mean the most to us but may have been neglected somewhat by competing work demands. You’re on vacation, so don’t let work get in the way of relationships (you shouldn’t ever let this happen, but that that’s a topic for another day). Don’t let your spouse or your kids define the time away by the number of hours mom or dad spent checking email.
How are you unplugging on your vacation? Tell us how you do it and we’ll reward you with a $50 Starbucks gift card to help you unplug (or replug) more! We’ll pick a winner on Tuesday, July 8th.

Some of the ways I’ll be unplugging while taking a little 4^th of July sabbatical:
May 30, 2023
Space to Focus
It has been a busy month. We call it Maycember, busy like December but without the gifts. Focusing during a busy month or busy season can be tricky. Not only is May a busy work month, wrapping up one big project to begin the next, it is also a busy season for me personally. My daughter’s high school graduation is tonight and focusing is something I’m struggling with right now. Juggling so much makes it difficult to focus. However, this isn’t my first rodeo with busy seasons. Working moms do this time and again. We are fortunate at HPC to always have the flexibility to incorporate space to focus when we need to. Here are a few ways we do that:
1. For the most part, we set our schedules. We plan work when we feel we are most productive (early morning for me).
2. Whenever possible, I intentionally incorporate downtime every week. I typically don’t schedule appointments on Friday and instead, I work most Sunday afternoons to prepare for the week ahead.
3. I work wherever I feel most productive. I have a home office, but I prefer my screened in back porch on most days or sometimes a local coffee shop.
Just last week, our team attended a conference at the beach. We all incorporated work in between conference sessions. The beach is always a great place to focus. Emily and I walked on the beach a couple of mornings; we talked about work, family and busy seasons.

Do you have space to focus? If not, find a way! Here a couple of tips:
1. Make an outline of your schedule the week before. Find space to focus. Do you have an extra hour in the morning, at lunch or after work to take a walk or enjoy quiet time in one of your favorite spots?
2. Identify a “focus” partner who will hold you accountable for finding space to focus. It is always easier to stick to a habit if someone is counting on you to do it.
Check out The Point Blog to read more about our series on “space.”
May 23, 2023
What’s Relationshipping, and How Do I Do It?
Networking establishes connection. Relationshipping builds bridges and two-way streets with sidewalks and wildflowers! When we relationship (yes, we’re using it as a verb), we have a sense of belonging. Belonging feeds engagement, creativity, and passion, which generate business success and real community impact. Come relationship with us!

I recently had the great pleasure to speak at the NAVIGATE Nonprofit Network Conference as part of the Building Effective Teams track with Leadership Greater Huntsville. NAVIGATE is focused on equipping nonprofit leaders with the unique KSAs needed to operate on a lean budget, raise funds for continued operations, and provide services with a real impact. At the center of everything they do: RELATIONSHIPS.

As usual, I researched what others in the world are saying about Relationshipping. Here’s what Cornerstone Coworking had to say:

“When you can speak highly of a person or a business because you have a relationship with them, I feel like that is valued so much more than just passing along a business card because you stuck it in your purse.

Next time you find yourself stuck in a networking event, find the one person that is just standing out to you and start a conversation; not strictly focused on work, but about their life, their journey and what the future holds for them, personally and professionally. I guarantee, you’ll begin to build a relationship with someone and might be excited about what it turns into; might even be your next business partner!”

With further supporting evidence, Meridian Resources says:

“The term networking is overused, old, and tired. It is so 1990s.

We have the illusion of connection, but perhaps we have lost something very important in the activity – the art of building and nurturing true and lasting relationships, which has a significant impact on our personal and professional well-being.

Do we find that it is more efficient to send a text than to make a call? Do we find it easier to send a quick email rather than to write a letter? Do we prefer communicating through technology within the safe cocoon of our office rather than personal conversations in the hallway? When we venture out, do we actively take the time to meet others and, more importantly, get to know them?”

When I was a grad student, our career services director put us through a series of professional development courses at which we rolled our eyes…until we realized how relevant and meaningful his wisdom was. He introduced to us the term “relationshipping” as an alternative to traditional networking. In other words, shifting the mindset from swapping business cards to building and nurturing connections with a purposeful intent of understanding and serving others and the greater good. So…how do we do it? Meridian Resources outlines 6 steps:
1. Change Your Intent
  
  Build new relationships when you don’t “need” them. Instead of thinking WHAT can this person do for me, think WHO is this person and how can we support each other.
2. Be People First
  
  People First is Horizon Point’s single most important operating value. Others use it, too. Angie Tinnell says, “People are fascinating with incredibly interesting stories to share. Stop parachuting into conversations and holding every minute hostage with all the things you’re passionate about. Instead, start getting excited about all the things the person across from you is passionate about.”
3. Communicate Differently
  
  Pick up the phone and have a conversation. Write someone a handwritten thank you note. Take every opportunity to be around other people, whether it is enjoying coffee, lunch, or attending a business conference.Then, check in on people. In our hyper-active social world, the intentional “wanted to see how you are doing” message with no favor to ask at the end, can go a long way to building a strong relationship.
  For a refresher on Communication Skills, read our blog about the GREET Model!
4. Serve Others
  
  Get out of yourself by putting others first.
  Instead of seeking people that can help you, look for people you can help. Not only another person, but extend yourself within the community.
  
  Be a connector.
  Think of two people in your life right now who don’t know each other, but would benefit from connecting with the other.
5. Be Humble
  Humility is defined as doing for others without seeking attention by taking credit for your actions. This is the most essential element of relationshipping. A good dose of humility makes us approachable and receptive to others’ opinions, views, and support.
6. Express Gratitude
  Acknowledge and sincerely thank those that help you along your journey. Sometimes the smallest action can make a tremendous difference in the future.
At the end of the day, our entire lives are about relationships. Family, friends, partners, colleagues, suppliers, providers, we could not make it without them. How can you get better at Relationshipping?
May 16, 2023