Horizon Point Consulting

Category: Personal Development

We all need a little personal development mixed in with our professional and career development. Read blogs in this category for stories and best practices for personal wellness and wellbeing, skills improvement, and  more.

  • Swinging for the Fence to Slow Productivity

    Swinging for the Fence to Slow Productivity

    We swung for the fences and came up short…
    Yeah, you win some, you lose some, it ain’t always home runs
    And that’s just the way life plays…
    Morgan Wallen

    A few years ago, I was facilitating a DiSC training session with one of my colleagues. We use a motivation checklist tied to the DiSC Personality Model to emphasize that different things motivate different people.

    We always encourage people to ask a peer what they think motivates them. Based on the behaviors you observe in another person, “What do you think makes them tick?” is the question we ask. I asked my colleague during the session to comment on what she thought my top two are. 

    She immediately said, “Well one is, ‘Taking on new challenges.’” 

    It wasn’t one of the top two I had marked.  Actually, in going through the checklist, it really wasn’t one I had even considered. 

    But as I reflected, I realized how off my self awareness might be.  She was spot on. I’m always swinging for the fence. On top of that, I very rarely wait patiently for the next pitch. I take on as much as I can, always ready for the challenge of knocking it all out of the park. 

    Too Many Balls 

    Following my sabbatical almost three years ago where I said no to everything for almost eight weeks, I came out refreshed and ready to swing for the fence again. I slowly but surely started picking up balls. One at a time, we added client after client, one of which is sucking the ever living life out of me right now. I picked up volunteer board seat balls. Thinking that the flexibility my husband now had given his change in careers would allow him to help out with the softballs of three kids, I said yes to more. Yes to travel, both personal and professional, yes to training for a marathon. Yes to a 17 year old from Costa Rica living with us. 

    Not only is my disposition to always swing for the fence, I am also always juggling a lot of balls trying to hit them all out of the park. Balls I’m trying to help others hit out of the park. I realized on one random Tuesday in April, I had dealt with ten different people calling me in crisis- or perceived crisis- needing my help. None of them were family, all balls I had picked up doing apparently what I’m good at.  As my husband has said, “I swear you have a sign on your forehead that reads, ‘Please spill your guts to me. I am here to help!’”

    But then a curveball invariably gets thrown. And two softball sized ones- one professional and one personal- hit me like a ton of bricks this spring.

    As I told my team, “I can juggle 18 balls at a time, but throw me 19 with a curve, and I want to drop them all.  It makes me realize maybe 15 balls is where I should have stopped.  I never should have picked up 16, 17, or 18 to begin with.  

    If I had never picked up those three, I could have handled the softballs, but by not stopping before it got to be too much, I seemed to be ill equipped to function given the big two.  

    I immediately went to, ok, sabbatical time again!  I need eight weeks of nothing! 

    Grand Slams

    For our second quarter planning meeting, you better believe “Sabbaticals” was on the agenda.  Unlike last time, everyone saw it and everyone brought it up before it was even time to discuss it. Everyone on the team has been in the business of picking up lots of balls too. We love to play the game, leaning into our mission, but it can get exhausting. 

    At our yearly planning meeting three months prior, we had worked hard to see where everyone was with current projects and what people wanted to grow in and what people wanted to divest in. I had named these things for myself too, already knowing in January that there were some balls that I wanted and needed to throw out.  But sometimes divesting in things takes time.  And I am trying to exit on some of them gracefully.  And I really wanted to equip my team to lead on some things they were capable of doing even better than I could, but there was inevitably some training involved in that. 

    We’d made plans for transitions. I communicated to boards I served on that I would not be serving another term- find a replacement! I’d be done with my bucket list marathon at the end of April. My so-stressful-I-can’t-sleep-at-night looming client issue would come to a peak at the same time and then be easier (or so I thought). 

    But by April, I was ready to say, “Forget gracefully!”  Every ball I’ve got is being thrown to the curb!”  

    “And that’s just the way life plays….”

    Right after this, I find myself heading to Oxford, Mississippi for a Morgan Wallen concert. You see, he is my daughter’s favorite musician. For Christmas, we had surprised her with tickets to his concert at Ole Miss in April. At the time, I wasn’t aware of how difficult the time between Christmas and April would be. The last ball I really wanted to have to juggle over that weekend was to be away from home again. 

    But she was ecstatic, and we weren’t going to miss it. After four hours in the rain listening to not one, not two, but three opening acts, he finally came on stage. A few songs in, he transitioned to my daughter’s favorite song, ‘98 Braves.  

    I felt the slow creep of the lyrics speaking to me:

    We swung for the fences and came up short…
    Yeah, you win some, you lose some, it ain’t always home runs
    And that’s just the way life plays…

    The personal issue got even more pronounced while I was gone.  The client issue came to a head right after I got back, and it was shared with me that it would get even more intense over the summer and into the fall. 

    Again, the thought, just throw the balls away. All of them. Quit swinging.

    Then, as I was unwinding the evening after my client engagement, I got a call from my husband. “He’s hit a grand slam! Cortez hit a grand slam!!” Drew was almost in tears. Our brown eyed boy who after seven years of baseball with us, had finally hit one over, and a grand slam at that!  His mother was in tears, I was in tears.  

    Seasons of Life 

    It takes some time for me to moderate the pendulum swings in my life. I preach moderation, but I often don’t practice it. And when I’m swinging for the fence all the time with too many balls, I get to a breaking point. I want to quit. 

    But, as I reflected I realized, I think I’m entering a season in my life where I can begin to honor the seasons of the game.  

    As Emily Freeman says so aptly, “Just because things change doesn’t mean you chose wrong in the first place. Just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean you have to do it forever.”  

    I’ve realized I’m in the season now where I would rather see someone else hit home runs. I get more joy and satisfaction from the win a teammate gets than I do experiencing it for myself. Like the speaking gig they are invited to instead of me. Like the colleagues who are about to land a very big fish or two that could substantially change their income (we pay a commission on business anyone lands) at a season in life where income is being sucked out like a vacuum. Kids in college ain’t cheap. For someone else to serve in that board role and learn.  

    It used to be that if our brown eyed boy was going to make it to a game or a practice or anything for that matter, we were going to have to take him.  After almost seven years, his mom takes him to most things now. She has stepped up to the plate and she is helping him knock it over the fence. It is a joy to see the evolution of their journey. 

    Most importantly, there is no greater joy than to see my kids well and excelling. Although Cortez isn’t our biological child, his successes and my three biological kids’ successes are more important to me than almost anything. Faith’s- our Costa Rica 17 year old- successes are important to me. The wonderful team I get to work with everyday at HPC are all so important to me.  And when I say successes, hitting a real grand slam isn’t what I mean, although the hard work and commitment that goes into hitting them is. 

    I’m ready to throw the balls for others to hit, not hit them myself. And I’m ready to be happy with a single, especially if it knocks in another run.  I’m not ready to stop stepping up to the plate or step up to the mound, I just need to modify my game plan. 

    And maybe you do too. 

    “When we want to give up, maybe what we need to do is open the door to doing things differently, not doing something different all together. “

    Mary Ila Ward

    “Slow Productivity” 

    For me, doing things differently is looking like a shift from choosing an all or nothing pace. A pace defined by what Cal Newport describes in his book titled the same as “Slow Productivity”.  His key pillars include: 

    • Focus on fewer things
    • Work at a natural pace
    • Obsess over quality

    Maybe I’ll take a sabbatical before 2024 is over, maybe I won’t (everyone else on the HPC team will be taking one in 2024-2025). I will be taking the summer to practice slow productivity, where I focus on the fewer balls that matter, namely, helping others succeed at the game, working at a pace that is more reasonable by saying no to the things that aren’t for me in this season, and by obsessing over the quality of relationships that are most important to me. 

    What Really Matters?

    In that same DiSC training, where I realized my self-awareness was totally off the mark in the challenges I take on, I also realized maybe I wasn’t totally self-aware illiterate. 

    The second motivator my colleague picked for me was, “Helping other people succeed.”  I had picked this one too. 

    I think my swinging for the fence can get in the way of me helping other people succeed sometimes. Especially people closest to me. It comes from a motivation to take on new challenges coupled with a desire to fix things. I’m looking forward to watching others hit it out of the park- by throwing the ball well, taking the bunt to advance the runner in front of me, or simply cheering from the stands- realizing that taking on challenging situations may just come in the form of helping others put in the work and patiently waiting seven years or more for the dividends to come. 

  • Open the Door to New Experiences

    Open the Door to New Experiences

    3,098.0 miles away

    Traveling 3,098.0 miles away from my home to live with the Ward family and shadow Mary Ila and HPC surely is a completely new experience for me. Since February and until May, I have been in the United States. This is the longest time I have ever been away from home and family.

    In one of the training sessions I got to shadow Horizon Point, we did an exercise where we selected two things that motivated us at work, and two others that did the complete opposite. The two that least motivated me from the list were “being in charge” and “being in a constantly changing environment.” 

    When I showed Mary Ila my choices she looked at me and laughed, “Well, you sure kinda threw yourself into a constantly changing environment when you came here!” I answered laughing as well, “I kinda had to do it”.

    Hello I Am Leaving My Comfort Zone name tag sticker to illustrate bravery and courage in going beyond the familiar to new experiences and growth

    It’s necessary

    I am a big routine/agenda kind of girl. I like having a constant routine because that way I feel productive, but I have learned over my 17 years of life that many times we have to step out of our comfort zone to learn and remember some lessons, adapt, and also open paths for opportunities. An important and true thing to bear in mind is that most of the time those lessons and opportunities will only come to us once we are willing to take the step and experience new unknown things. 

    I am so glad that I said yes to Mary Ila’s offer to live here and shadow her and her team because I have surely learned a lot. This experience I would have never been able to have if I stayed in Costa Rica waiting for college to start. Was I scared? Yeah. When I woke up after leaving my parents and brother at the airport, did I feel weird? Sure. Did I know what was going to happen next? Oh, a hundred percent no! However, has it been worth the new experience so far? Oh a hundred percent yes!

    Before I came to the United States, Mary Ila gave me the book Dare to Lead by Brené Brown. There is a quote that I think is all about new experiences. It speaks to the importance of opening the door to new things. “The courage to be vulnerable is not about winning or losing, it’s about the courage to show up when you can’t predict or control the outcome.” You just kinda have to do it!

  • Open the Door to Vulnerability and Courage

    Open the Door to Vulnerability and Courage

    Last week Emily complimented me in her blog post when she spoke of the struggles I have faced in the last year and my ability to persevere through them. (Thanks, Emily!) And she’s not wrong. I have been that way for as long as I can remember; not letting anything stop me or get in my way. My dad taught me to have determination and I am so grateful that he did. But that determination and perseverance go hand in hand with the ability to be vulnerable. And this is where I used to fall short, very short. It wasn’t until I joined the Horizon Point team that I learned it was okay to be vulnerable, to ask for help, and to let others handle the load when you can’t. And during my health struggles in the past year, they have helped carry the load, without hesitation. 

    Vulnerability isn’t a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength. It’s the ability to acknowledge when you can’t do it alone, when you made a mistake, or when you fell short. As Brene Brown puts it “(T)he definition of vulnerability is uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. But vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our most accurate measure of courage.” 

    I had to learn to be vulnerable, and here’s what I have learned:

    1. If you show vulnerability, others will follow. If leaders allow themselves to be vulnerable with their teams, it creates a culture of trust and in turn those employees will learn that vulnerability is acceptable, encouraged, and expected within the team. 
    2. Being vulnerable takes practice. It’s not easy to be vulnerable. As Brené Brown says, it takes courage to expose your fears, mistakes, and emotions to others. You don’t know how it will be received and you don’t know what others will think of you. But the more you do it, the easier it gets. Start small and work your way up to the big things if you need to. And sometimes it starts with being vulnerable with yourself. 
    3. How you respond to the vulnerability of others is make or break. As a leader, you need to encourage and accept the vulnerability of others. How you react to the vulnerability shown to you can build trust or destroy trust. Allow for mistakes and use them as learning opportunities. Encourage employees to seek help when they are overwhelmed, be someone that they can vent to if needed (without negative repercussions). Understand that they have emotions and while you may not understand or agree with those emotions, acknowledge them. 
    4. Vulnerability in leadership leads to better, more productive teams. By allowing and encouraging vulnerability and modeling vulnerability to your team, it creates a team that is psychologically safe, that is comfortable raising concerns, mistakes, and ideas, that has a growth mindset. And research shows that teams that are psychologically safe are the most productive teams you can have. 

    I have a wonderful team at Horizon Point that I can be vulnerable and courageous with, that I can go to for help when I need it, can share ideas and concerns with without fear of repercussion, and that I can vent to when I’m having one of those days. And I know that they have by back, and in return, they know that I have theirs. 

    How have you as a leader shown vulnerability and courage to your team? And how have you responded to the vulnerability shown to you? 

  • Open the Door to Communication, Encouragement & Relationships

    Open the Door to Communication, Encouragement & Relationships

    We have an active group text at HPC. It is rare for a day to go by that I’m not receiving (or sending) a text from (or to) our team. The content varies – a funny meme, a word of encouragement, a link to an innovative podcast or book, or a picture of a new pet. The subject of the messages change daily, but the intent does not. The constant stream of communication conveys how we encourage one another, share ideas and help us become a stronger team.

    As with most success stories, our team dynamic starts from the top. Our President/CEO is a servant leader who actively listens, communicates and builds relationships. I’ve often said “she makes me want to be a better person.” She truly has a heart for others and opens her home, her door, her table to everyone. The best example I can think of when reflecting on opening the door to communication, encouragement & relationships is our monthly one-on-one meetings. Those conversations are full of encouragement and enlightenment, and they always leave me feeling ready to conquer the next month along with all the projects & challenges that go along with it.

    How do you improve your communication skills? Check out Lorrie’s tips here:

    Make it Effective … Improve Communication Within Your Organization

    To learn more about building relationships, read insights from Jillian’s blog:

    What’s Relationshipping, & How Do I Do It?

    How do you open the door to communication, encouragement and build relationships? Check out What We Do at HPC, and let us know how we can help!

  • Open the Door. Literally.

    Open the Door. Literally.

    It is 5:34 in the morning, and I am opening my front door to welcome a 17-year-old from Costa Rica.  She’s seen her parents and brother off at the airport to return home, but she is staying. She will be living with us for almost three months.  

    We first met her when she was a sweet seven-year-old who spoke better English than I will ever speak Spanish. Over the course of ten years, we’ve grown to love her family and the prison ministry work they do in Costa Rica. On our trip to Costa Rica last summer to visit, she mentioned she was interested in studying psychology, and I told her she was welcome to come stay with us and see some of our work at HPC before starting college in the Fall.  

    When I share with others our plans to have her live with us, I typically get one of two very different responses.  One: “That’s great!”  or Two:  “Why would you do that?”  The gut response most likely speaks to the person’s level of openness to experience or some other personality trait.  And I appreciate the candidness. 

    And if I’m honest, I feel both of these responses all at once as I literally open the door to my home-This is going to be great! Right along with, What the heck are we doing? All before the sun even comes up. 

    I think she feels the same things too. All at once. 

    And I think such is the way of opening the door to anything worth doing.  Worth learning from.  Opening the door takes effort.  There will be good and bad.  Mistakes and joys.  Excitement and exhaustion. All at once. 

    As we chose “Open the Door” as our 2024 theme at Horizon Point, we were trying to point to just this. The duality of so many things.  Each one of us will spend the next month writing a blog about what this theme means personally.  But I think we all agree opening the door is the way to let light in. And we are all about some light at HPC.  It is who we are and who we strive to be. 

    So today for me, opening the door literally means opening the door.  No metaphor, no hypothetical gesture.  Plan action. 

    And what a pretty morning it was, as the sky opened to light a few minutes after the door was opened. 

    Who or what do you need to open the door to today?