Author: Mary Ila Ward

I’ve written a lot on girl power topics–

But men are important.

Very important. For me,

• One has raised me to think I can be and do anything I want (thanks Dad).
• One has become my better half (for more on better halves, see this post) and giver of the best two gifts we’ve ever gotten, our kids.
• One has been my best boss.
• One was my best mentor.
• And one is the reason I write this post.  This “man” in my life, my now five year old son, causes me to reflect on and raise concern over what I’ve seen/heard lately in a variety of circles.

Here are just a few:

• In talking with a small business owner, she told me how she really wanted to diversify her workforce of mostly women, but after the 3^rd position where she was looking to hire a male, they all fell short compared to the female candidates. And two of the three positions she was hiring for are in male dominated fields.
• At a conference I attended, there was a panel of “legacy creators”.  All six were women.
• Women outnumber men in graduating from college.
• In a local high school leadership group, 2/3 of the “leaders” are female.
• And quite simply, a comment I hear too much and fall victim to myself, “He is just a boy.”  As if gender is some excuse to behave in an unacceptable way.   I have never once heard someone comment that my little girl is “just a girl.”

Of course my little girl may still have to deal with the glass ceiling, the fact that there has never been a female president, or just the simple perception of what roles are and aren’t appropriate for women.

But my son will seem to have to deal with the challenge of complacency that is brought about by always seeming to have been on top.

I could say he (and she) both have this challenge because they also happen to be white, or American.

But the curse of complacency may be worst of all because it relates to pride (and excuses) coming before the fall.

But I take heart.  My little boy has a role model in his daddy (and also his grandfathers) who all combat the ideas of complacency by demonstrating hard work and a dedication to family. We’ll have to fight the complacency curse for my son seeming to have had everything handed to him on a silver platter because of the hard work of these men who have come before him.

But the role models are there for him.  However, in a country where the rate of single-parent families has nearly doubled in 50 years, maybe that’s the problem.  While some would argue this rate has changed because of increasing opportunities for women (and this is a good thing), I’ll argue single-parent homes are not, usually, a positive indicator.

And maybe that’s why I’m hearing and seeing (and I’m sure you are too) the issue that should be an overall concern of our society.  And that is this: is my son in the minority by having males in his life that are role model worthy?  And what is this leading to? Where have all the good boys gone?

I was away at a SHRM Leadership Conference in DC the week before the Thanksgiving week. Although I miss my husband and my kids fiercely when I’m away, man I can get stuff- tasks, thinking and planning- done when I am free of the distractions from home and the office through plane rides and quiet hotel rooms.

All while there for two and a half days that included doing what I was here for- attending the conference- I’ve still managed to:

• This may seem trivial, but what piles up in my inbox is stuff I want to read to help me think and write and plan for social media content.
• The inbox zero along with one book read and some content I’ve been wanting to look out on leadership and social capital has lead to 15 blog posts outlined several of which are done, and a reach out to a few top-of-the line guest bloggers for content as well.
• Task list cleared. I’m caught up going into Thanksgiving week. We will see how long it lasts….
• Made some important business development contacts through emails and meetings set-up and more importantly through some in-person contacts and introductions the conference.
• Charted out 2016 strategic planning and SHRM volunteer role planning for 2016
• Did the things that I strive to do everyday during a regular at-home routine but don’t always get to like exercise and a devotional to start off each morning
• Scheduled my son’s birthday party, which somehow keeps getting put aside with all the distractions of home and work
• Oh and I got a massage- it was great.

But none of your care about what I got done. Not one of you. Thank you for indulging me in my list.

However, you might care for me to make a point about how all this might matter to you….

In one of the sessions I attended at the conference, the speaker, Susan Ershler– who by the way, has climbed the seven summits of the world all while leading her work team to huge success- discussed through her Project- Prepare- Preserve process the need to schedule a “think week” as a critical component to preparation.  She discussed how Bill Gates makes this a practice, and she emphasized how implementing this “think week” leads to better execution. Amen sister.

I didn’t have a week, but I had almost three days to do just this. I was able to spend time on some nagging tasks weighing on me, but more importantly, I had time to THINK. This thinking will lead to better execution when I get back.

So, if you are looking for a 2016 resolution to set, schedule your think time now. And find some time within that time to:

1. Get caught up so you aren’t so overwhelmed in taking the time or in returning feeling further behind. And you can’t think if you are worried about this stuff.
2. Think. 
3. Be creative with whatever creative outlets energize you (mine is reading and writing and making connections with others).
4. Plan.
5. Get those plans down on paper.
6. And, for the love, do something for you. Just for you. My massage might have been the highlight of it all.

Do you have a think week or retreat planned for 2016?