Where have all the good boys gone?

I’ve written a lot on girl power topics–

But men are important.

Very important. For me,

• One has raised me to think I can be and do anything I want (thanks Dad).
• One has become my better half (for more on better halves, see this post) and giver of the best two gifts we’ve ever gotten, our kids.
• One has been my best boss.
• One was my best mentor.
• And one is the reason I write this post.  This “man” in my life, my now five year old son, causes me to reflect on and raise concern over what I’ve seen/heard lately in a variety of circles.

 

Here are just a few:

• In talking with a small business owner, she told me how she really wanted to diversify her workforce of mostly women, but after the 3^rd position where she was looking to hire a male, they all fell short compared to the female candidates. And two of the three positions she was hiring for are in male dominated fields.
• At a conference I attended, there was a panel of “legacy creators”.  All six were women.
• Women outnumber men in graduating from college.
• In a local high school leadership group, 2/3 of the “leaders” are female.
• And quite simply, a comment I hear too much and fall victim to myself, “He is just a boy.”  As if gender is some excuse to behave in an unacceptable way.   I have never once heard someone comment that my little girl is “just a girl.”

 

Of course my little girl may still have to deal with the glass ceiling, the fact that there has never been a female president, or just the simple perception of what roles are and aren’t appropriate for women.

But my son will seem to have to deal with the challenge of complacency that is brought about by always seeming to have been on top.

I could say he (and she) both have this challenge because they also happen to be white, or American.

But the curse of complacency may be worst of all because it relates to pride (and excuses) coming before the fall.

But I take heart.  My little boy has a role model in his daddy (and also his grandfathers) who all combat the ideas of complacency by demonstrating hard work and a dedication to family. We’ll have to fight the complacency curse for my son seeming to have had everything handed to him on a silver platter because of the hard work of these men who have come before him.

But the role models are there for him.  However, in a country where the rate of single-parent families has nearly doubled in 50 years, maybe that’s the problem.  While some would argue this rate has changed because of increasing opportunities for women (and this is a good thing), I’ll argue single-parent homes are not, usually, a positive indicator.

And maybe that’s why I’m hearing and seeing (and I’m sure you are too) the issue that should be an overall concern of our society.  And that is this: is my son in the minority by having males in his life that are role model worthy?  And what is this leading to? Where have all the good boys gone?