4 Steps for Handling and Diffusing Conflict

Last week, I had to share some information with someone that was unpleasant. I was nervous about how to deliver the message, but I went back to the steps I recommend to leadership coaching clients when they have to deliver and discuss issues that involve conflict. This is a very common issue that leaders have to navigate, and the best method to handle or diffuse conflict is to address it. The worst thing that can be done is to ignore.

If you’re struggling with how to handle a situation head on, use these steps to make it easier:

1.  Get your facts before proceeding. There are two sides to every story and a he said/she said issue is not ready to approach until you’ve gathered your facts. Make sure you know the ins and outs of the issue before discussing and address it.

2.  Seek counsel of the wise. Before I went into my “unpleasant” discussion last week, I sought the counsel of three people that I trust. There was consensus on how to handle the issue from the three individuals (who had no idea what the other people recommended), so I felt confident that the approach was the best method. Make sure you have 2-3 trusted advisors as a leader. This is why hiring a coach may beneficial.

3.  Plan and practice your approach. Write it out if you need to. This will help you feel confident in your delivery and anticipate questions or concerns that may arise from the party(ies) you are addressing.

4.  Address it. Like I said, the worst thing you can do when conflict arises is to ignore it. To address the situation effectively:

  • Frame the issue with the facts
  • State your concern as well as why you are concerned making sure that potential effects on company and individual performance are addressed
  • Ask open-ended questions of the parties
  • Provide time for comment from all involved
  • Develop an approach or plan of action to resolve the issue. Ensure that everyone involved is clear on his or her responsibilities.

How do you address difficult issues and/or resolve conflict in the workplace?

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Mary Ila Ward